Guest list and missing my Nan.

My grandma (Nan) passed away 3 months ago. She was the one person in my family who I connected with and the only one who has supported my relationship with Adam from the beginning. She was there when the rest of my family didn’t talk to me for 2 years. I got divorced. Apparently, that makes me a horrible person in their eyes. Anyway, I’m sitting here, having coffee with Nan’s Buddha and adding to our guest list wishing she could physically be there. She’ll be there in spirit and I’ll be wearing her ring like always, but I really miss her and having a rough time with it today. I don’t want to have a visible memorial for her at the wedding. She wouldn’t want it. I’ll find some way to honor her though.