Guest keeps changing rsvp

How much extra are we talking total?

One of DH so called best friends pulled a very similar stunt. RSVPed no, in fact called me on the phone fishing for an invite to the rehearsal dinner instead insisting they couldn't go to the wedding. Some how less than 24 hours later my sister in law says they decided to come... Um do you think they might want to tell the bride you know the actual host of the event???

I let them come since I had one more day I could add but I made DH call them to confirm since they kept saying they weren't coming.

I'd be seriously annoyed, but I think it would be more drama and more of a PITA to revoke the invitation than to just let them come. I do think you should call them directly, and politely but firmly ask for a real RSVP and commitment that they will be there because your caterer needs a FIRM count.

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It would be an extra $330 plus tax for the both of them. Oh and I just found out that the wife told my mom they wouldn't go because she's embarrassed, so now her and her husband aren't even on the same page and saying different things.

This is precisely why they asked your mom not to say anything in the first place. This is one of those times you just suck it up, i would contact them and confirm that they are, in fact, attending. It’s not their fault you upgraded your package.

View Quoted Comment Your mother should tell them that they need to make a decision today, stick Roth it and call you .

Sorry, “stick with it”

This close i would probably want to speak with them directly and see if they are going or not. They can't be passing messages through others. I'd tell them i've already submitted my count and that you no longer have space for them since they RSVP'd no. If you want to make the accommodation feel free. However, i would be annoyed and would have to say no especially if i upgraded everyone. Her and her husband need to get on the same page first. RSVP's have deadlines for a reason. Some people really think they can make a decision until the day of without it affecting anything. Imagine if you included them and they didn't show day of because they still "arent on the same page"

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They told my mom not to tell me because they were embarrassed, not for any other reason. My mom did the right thing by telling me because I need to know whether or not they're coming. They've now changed their minds twice after the RSVP deadline and they're still not telling me directly. I'm going to contact them, but they never should have involved my mom.

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Yeah, I'm gonna contact them and explain the situation. Thank you!

I'd call them and let them know you already turned in numbers after they declined. They can't keep changing their mind.

In terms of them asking your mother not to mention you not attending, fair enough, they were already sending a card so there was no need to relay that message on. The RSVP deadline has passed though, you don't have to accommodate them

View Quoted Comment I disagree. They sent her a card saying they weren’t going to come... they already told her in a card. THEN changed their plans again. And it is their fault she upgraded they had less people RSVP yes so they decided to upgrade their package and then these people decided they are coming.

OP it’s up to you, figure out if you’re good paying the extra $330 for them to attend and then call them and let them know your answer “if you guys would still like to come since your vacation is postponed we have seats for you and would love to see you there but I need to know by x:xx pm tomorrow or it will be assumed no.” OR “sorry but we’ve already turned in the seating chart and final numbers and since you said no I did not include you in that I am sorry, but this is how it is”

I would tell them you already had to turn in your numbers and you can't change them. Honestly I would pay an extra $350+ for people who can't even decide if they can make it...

I would definitely talk to them directly and let them know you need a final answer. You don't have to acknowledge what your mom told you because her husband did go on the Facebook page to RSVP after the deadline. You can use that as your reason for calling if you need one. All of that back and forth is very annoying.

. If you don’t want to pay out anymore money I’d tell them it’s too late. It’s annoying when ppl can’t make up their minds.

Unless they were a very, very close friend or family that I could t imagine not having there I would be contacting them and telling them that after they had responded no, that I had already turned in the final numbers. And that unfortunately you are unable to accommodate them and they will be missed at the wedding.