Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Future Mrs. Jarrett
Dedicated March 2019

Guest dress code request

Future Mrs. Jarrett, on August 9, 2018 at 10:32 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 49
Saved
Reply
Hey guys,

I have a slight dilemma regarding rules for guest attire and if it's okay to request it.

If you think it's okay to have a dress code so to speak, how do you communicate it and where?

Since the time I was young I have always thought that people who wear black to a wedding, especially women, are disrespectful. To me (I guess I went to too many funerals when I was young) I associate it with mourning and sadness. (I get that most men's suites are black so it's not as bad?)

Its weird, I know. I mostly wear black everywhere else and I think it's fine. However for weddings I feel like it should be a celebratory and colorful occasion. Plus my wedding is outside in the spring so I'm clearly going for lots of color and brightness. (And black gets hot in the sun!)

I know it's been the trend that everyone has that little black dress they want to re use for multiple occasions as well.

Would it be acceptable or appropriate to request that our guests refrain from wearing black? Its a small and casual wedding and reception so formal attire definitely isn't expected. Giving guests hopefully more of a broad selection of attire.

49 Comments

Latest activity by Courtney, on August 12, 2018 at 12:41 AM
  • Kalie
    Devoted September 2018
    Kalie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    No. You cannot request people not wear black. I don’t see the problem with wearing black to a wedding and honestly people will do what they want to do at the end of the day so it won’t even matter if you request it.
    • Reply
  • A
    Dedicated June 2019
    AtoK ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I think you could put it in a witty way, talking about looking out to a sea of bright colors making you smile or something like that, on a detail card or a website should be fine. More of encouraging colors and not excluding black.
    • Reply
  • A
    Beginner September 2018
    Autumn Jo ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I attached a small paper with my invites asking that people wear semi formal attire with purple and or gray. And people have mentioned to me they are on the look out or have bought an appropriate outfit.
    You can kinda see it in the picture I attached in the top left corner.

    Guest dress code request 1
    • Reply
  • J
    Just Said Yes November 2018
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Black is too common of a color to say no it’s unlikely that people would agree.. specifically wedding clothes . But I would say if you get married in the spring or summer you’re less likely to see copious amounts of black . There’s black in most clothing options for winter wear. I would say mention in the invitation something like “white tie attire” or dress for weather ... etc
    • Reply
  • K
    Dedicated August 2019
    Kate ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    You probably won’t even notice Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Kalie
    Devoted September 2018
    Kalie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Dictating that your guests wear certain colors is incredibly rude. They should be there as the people you love and cherish, not props for photos.
    • Reply
  • Kiwibride
    Super November 2018
    Kiwibride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I don't think it's appropriate sorry. For many people, particularly men, this will mean you're asking for them to go buy a new outfit specifically for your wedding. I think most people would find it ridiculous to ask men to buy new dress pants/suit because they only have black and it's really no different for women. It's not disrespectful at all to wear to a wedding, it's classy and versatile
    • Reply
  • Little Star
    Expert April 2019
    Little Star ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I’m disrespectful. 😂 I wear a lot of black. It’s the color I’m most comfortable in. It’s classy and slimming. What if one of your guests is like me, someone with body issues who only feels comfortable wearing a flattering color like black? I agree with PP, it’s kind of rude to dictate the attire of your guests. This is something I also learned by coming to these forums.
    • Reply
  • Mrs.Married
    Devoted September 2017
    Mrs.Married ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    It’s rude to tell guests what to wear or not wear. Just be happy people want to come celebrate the day with you, don’t worry about what they are wearing. The only thing you should communicate people is if it’s casual, formal, or semi formal, so they know the degree to which they should be dressed.
    • Reply
  • Ashley1luv3
    Expert May 2019
    Ashley1luv3 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    To say you want formal Wear is completely fine but to dictate which colors can and cannot be worn is completely rude. What if a little black dress is all I have in appropriate wedding clothing, does that mean I have buy something new for YOUR wedding..... honestly I just wouldn't go. Are you really going to be looking and checking for who's wearing what to your wedding....who has time for that. Don't sweat small stuff like this, I'm sure you have wayyy bigger things to worry about.
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Devoted August 2018
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I don’t think it’s a problem for you to ask. I wouldn’t expect everyone to do as you wish. But if you want to ask , I would put it on or with the invitations.
    • Reply
  • K
    Expert October 2019
    Kierstin ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I wouldn’t ask people not to wear black. White I get but not black. I wore a long dress where the top was white the bottom was black with flowers. I obviously got permission from the bride (my cousin)
    • Reply
  • I
    Dedicated October 2019
    Ian ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I think it's reasonable to have a dress code persay if you don't want ppl to wear black. We are having everyone dress casual so the bridal party and us stand out. I would put in the invitations that we would appreciate it if everyone could refrain from wearing black as you guys are going for a very colorful spring wedding. The wording is up to you but the day is technically yours and no one else's. You definitely have the right to have the day you dreamed of. Now if someone ends up disregarding the dresses code there's nothing you can do and don't let it ruin your day.
    • Reply
  • Future Mrs. Jarrett
    Dedicated March 2019
    Future Mrs. Jarrett ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you! This is a nice idea.
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    It has always been considered really impolite to tell guests what to wear, color or style, to any social functions. Only indicating formality, or special conditions ( like no high heels allowed on boat deck) for safety, are proper. But if you do not care a whit about manners, say what you want on your wedding invitation.
    • Reply
  • AQuixoticBride
    VIP July 2018
    AQuixoticBride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I actually understand people requesting guests to wear a specific color (in that you're having a white party or red party, whatever) than telling them not to wear a specific color. If I saw a request not to wear black, I would totally wear black even if I hadn't planned to. And I'm not even usually petty like that. Let your guests be. What they're wearing is going to be the furthest thing from your mind.
    • Reply
  • M
    Savvy May 2019
    Mercy ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I dont understand why people feel as though YOU wanting YOUR wedding how you want it is rude... It’s your wedding, do what you want & if your guests care about you (which I know mine do) I don’t see it being a problem for them to follow a dress code! We are doing ALL WHITE & will specifically be telling everyone to wear white,, most people buy a new outfit for an event like this anyway, I don’t see the big deal.
    • Reply
  • OrangeCrush
    Super October 2017
    OrangeCrush ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Please don't tell people not to wear black. Black id a big color these days, plus people usually punch it up with a colored scarf or colorful jewelry. I had two separate people ask if they could wear black to my wedding, I said sure. My issue was jeans. Yes our wedding was at 11am, outdoors but informal, not casual. No one wore jeans (I never said no jeans anywhere as I don't believe in dictating what people wear) and you know what? I would not have cared, I was just so glad people came to our wedding.

    • Reply
  • Megan
    Devoted December 2018
    Megan ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    We have it at the bottom of the invitation and it's also on our website. It's absolutely okay to indicate one. And as someone who use to work sales and help guests try to find something, if it's not clearly stated they will try to figure it out
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Giving your guests a dress code and restricting them from wearing an color all together is really overstepping. They are adults and can dress themselves.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

9 Wedding Guest Dress Codes and What They Mean
Wedding Guests 9 Wedding Guest Dress Codes and What They Mean If you just received a wedding invitation in the mail, bookmark this wedding...
32 Spring Wedding Guest Dresses That Are as Fresh as the Season Itself
Wedding Guests 32 Spring Wedding Guest Dresses That Are as Fresh as the... In search of a seasonal wedding guest outfit? Any of these gorgeous dresses or...
The Best Long-Sleeve Wedding Guest Dresses for Every Style
Wedding Fashion The Best Long-Sleeve Wedding Guest Dresses for Every Style In need of a stylish long-sleeve wedding guest dress? We've got you covered...
Read more articles
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire article topics