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Just Said Yes August 2014

Guest couple broke up... do I still invite her?

Amber, on June 2, 2014 at 6:08 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

My FI and I are friends with a guy who was in a serious/long term relationship (before we became friends with him). We of course invited he and the GF (via save the date) although the GF has really only ever been an acquaintance, and I wouldn't say that we have ever been close with her. They recently went through a sudden and very unexpected break up. In a private conversation, my Fi and I decided we probably wouldn't put her name on the invite. She recently send me a facebook message asking if she was still invited to the wedding. She continued that our friend, her ex, might have to work the weekend of our wedding, so it most likely would have been only her attending anyway. She went on to say that if I was worried about it being awkward, she could assure me it wouldn't be.

We simply just did not plan to invite her anymore since we aren't very close to her. Should we invite her? I'm mostly flabbergasted that she asked, in my opinion she has made the situation awkward by even asking.

8 Comments

Latest activity by LSC_sf, on June 2, 2014 at 7:09 PM
  • WalkerGirl
    Super August 2014
    WalkerGirl ·
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    I wouldn't.

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  • GrayCatVintage
    Master October 2015
    GrayCatVintage ·
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    I would not invite just her since the main person you are inviting is a close friend. We had a talk about this the other day regarding one of the ushers who is now suddenly going through a divorce. No one liked his wife from the beginning - but we were going to invite her obviously. Well, as of a month ago they have started divorce proceedings and will be divorced by the time invites go out. We are only going to put his name on his invitation. I mean why would she even want to come if no one really knows her?

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  • A
    Just Said Yes August 2014
    Amber ·
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    This might seem a little mean, but My Fi and I are of the opinion that she is worried that she is missing out, not that she might not be able to come to our wedding, if that makes sense. They're a relatively young couple (heck, my Fi and I are 'relatively young'- 24 and 30) and this is the first serious relationship either has been in, and she is dealing with the break up poorly in general . Many of our guests are her friends, we in particular are just not close to her.

    Thanks for your opinions, greatly appreciated!

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  • Starlight
    VIP August 2014
    Starlight ·
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    I found myself in a similar situation. I addressed the STD to both my Stepbrother and his then long-term gf. They broke up. His invite is getting addressed to Joe Smith and Guest. She isn't getting one. She was on the STD because of him, alone she doesn't mean much to me or FH at all

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  • Sharon
    Dedicated June 2014
    Sharon ·
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    I would think she just wanted to be there. Maybe hoping for a reconciliation. I know that when my now fiancé and I split, it was hard because I was close to his friends. I didn't know where I stood and this May be her way of trying to keep you as friends.

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  • Ostrich
    Master April 2016
    Ostrich ·
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    If he broke up with her, don't invite her. She sounds like although friends, she doesn't want to go to the wedding to celebrate you and your marriage, but hopefully get back with your friend. He has to see her, she will get all dolled up. Honestly even if you guys were friends I would want the day to be about me (selfish- sorry not sorry) and not run any chance of extra, unnecessary drama.

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  • Kylene
    VIP October 2014
    Kylene ·
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    Don't invite her.

    If she was only invited because you were giving him a plus one and she was the person he would have invited, then there is no reason to now invite her separately. I would invite him with a plus now that is now just designated as "guest" for him to do with what he wants ... and leave her out of it.

    I actually wouldn't even respond to her -- because her question and reasoning and all of that seems really awkward and weird to me ... but if you feel the need to respond I would tell her exactly that -- that he was your friend originally, and you invited him with a plus one, and you will still do that. He can invite who he wants and if it is no longer you then I'm sorry, you won't be attending.

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  • L
    VIP September 2014
    LSC_sf ·
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    Don't invite her. That's even more awkward for her to go and not your friend (if it's true that he has to work). I definitely wouldn't invite her.

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