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Abbythebean
Beginner December 2022

Guest count help? Intimate vs Big wedding.

Abbythebean, on March 3, 2021 at 2:48 PM Posted in Planning 1 19
Hi! I’m currently trying to get an idea of my guest count and i’m struggling choosing between an intimate wedding about 50-75 people vs inviting about 150-175. Numbers are not 100% but ball parking. I’m attracted to a small intimate wedding so we can splurge on food, florals, & entertainment + honeymoon + save money. However, the other side of me would like a big wedding surrounded with everyone we love and are friends with + more gifts won’t hurt! I’ve talked with my fiancée and we’re both on the same page of not sure.


I would like to hear from brides who had/having a small intimate wedding and their experience/why! Also from brides who had/having big weddings and their experiences/why! Thank you!

19 Comments

Latest activity by Shasta, on March 7, 2021 at 9:21 AM
  • Nicole
    Devoted August 2022
    Nicole ·
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    I'm planning a 65-person wedding. I wanted to be able to spend enough time with those who are truly close to us. If you have only 5 hours to spend with 150 people, you only get 2 minutes with each. That seemed stressful to me!
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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    I think there are DEFINITELY more pros of a wedding under 100 guests. You can always add more if you want but you cant eliminate once the save the dates get sent out. Plus it will allow you to maybe get the second photographer or the better floral ect
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  • Lazell
    Savvy September 2022
    Lazell ·
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    We plan to have a bigger wedding because we have missed seeing everyone during this pandemic and we also would love to have more people to celebrate with!
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  • Expert September 2021
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    We have planned both and I will say with certainty that the smaller, more intimate wedding is totally my speed. We planned a wedding of about 200 people, but our venue started to get extremely strict with Covid. We decided to downsize and do 75 people at a different venue. All of the people we have on our lists are so important to us and such a fun group. We've been able to completely bring our wedding dream to life by doing this!

    With so many guests, our budget only allowed the bare minimum - a limited bar option, buffet-style chicken tender dinner (totally okay but not what we wanted), and so many other restrictions. We can now afford a plated filet dinner and open bar for our guests, along with more money in our budget to splurge on flowers and other things we really wanted, but couldn't afford with a larger wedding.

    We changed our 'Sunday best' styled wedding to a black tie, very formal and romantic event. It's been the best decision for us!

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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    My MOH is eloping with her FH and having a big celebration afterwards! Their reasoning is that they don't want the stress of planning a big wedding. They just had an elopement company do everything for them. It matches their personalities, just not for me!

    My FH and I are have a big wedding lol. Our current guest count is 193, but we expect 170ish showing up. There were several reasons why we chose to have a big wedding! We love to party, and any excuse to get everyone we care about together. He's also the last child to get married, while I'm the only child, so eloping or having an intimate wedding wasn't the best option for us and our families. Planning hasn't been stressful either, so it's been smooth sailing for us!

    I'm always a big wedding person. It's so great having everyone that's important in your life come together and meet and celebrate the same thing! That was another thing we thought about when deciding. My family lives in different states and countries, while his live in different states. Our wedding is probably the only chance we have of getting everyone in the same place to meet, and we don't want to regret passing that up.

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  • V
    Rockstar July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I think it is less about intimate vs big. I think the better questions are what can you afford, what things are important to you and your fiancé, and who you really truly what there to celebrate with you. For example, an open bar is important to some people and they tend to be more expensive so the more people you have the higher your bill is going to be whereas if you are okay with just beer and wine then the cost will be lower per person.

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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    I had a small wedding and my favorite weddings to attend as guests are smaller weddings. It just feels so much more meaningful when you actually get to spend some time with the happy couple on the day. And like others mentioned above, there is a hard limit how much time you can spend with everyone (if you get to interact with everyone at all) at a larger wedding. Time simply isn't on your side once the guest count goes over 100.

    And of course, saving money is a big plus for a smaller wedding. I would not allow the number of gifts to factor into your decision making at all.

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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    My fiancé and I have been together for some time. I have a large family but his side is smaller. He’s a firefighter/medic & has been on the department for 25+ years - I work at a hospital. Between my family, his family, our fire family, we were looking at around 250+ easy. That is something we really don’t want. We want the small intimate wedding where we’re actually going to remember who was there. To be able to mingle with our guests more than a few minutes which won’t be possible if we have a big guest list. Our guest list is 90-we made serious cuts to the list & then decided on a no children wedding. The cost is dramatically less- we wanted to keep it to $20k including the honeymoon.
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  • Tory
    Devoted May 2022
    Tory ·
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    I’ve actually been struggling with this decision as well! I would really love to have a more intimate wedding, but I also find it hard to cut the list down & would hate to not include certain people in our day. I think whatever you do will end up being a good choice, there’s pros and cons to each one
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  • Katie
    VIP August 2020
    Katie ·
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    Hi Abigail! We originally had a huge wedding of 280 guests planned - the big cathedral, the grand ballroom- the whole bit! I always wanted a small wedding on the beach, but wanted to please my fiancé and our families and grew to like this big wedding idea. I was so stressed over money and it made me sick. More centerpieces, more favors, extra long linens, etc. and I couldn’t believe how much this was going to cost! With covid (it’s own stress of course) and downsizing to 104 who attended ended up being perfect 👌 Changed to an outdoor garden ceremony with a waterfront reception. We still couldn’t get to all the tables, but would have been impossible with our original list. I was able to afford florals I could’ve only dreamed of before. I was able to treat my bridal party to extra things I wouldn’t have otherwise afforded. We had time to write longer, more heartfelt thank you cards and complete them in record time.


    With just our closest family and friends, I wasn’t nervous the day of at all (says a lot because I’m a nervous type)! I also didn’t feel pulled in so many directions with less guests. We’re not party people, so we personally liked having a wedding that didn’t feel like a nightclub (no offense to brides who do want that - most people love that and it is fun!). For us, it felt much more meaningful rather than what felt like putting on a show for nearly 300 people. Sorry for the long response!!! 😂❤️🥂
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  • Abbythebean
    Beginner December 2022
    Abbythebean ·
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    Yes! money is one of the biggest factors going in the small approach. more money to give our guests a better time/better plate and overall more welcomed and loved expirerenc.
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  • Tori
    Devoted October 2021
    Tori ·
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    We're inviting around 90 people and will probably end up with around 75 who come to the wedding. I've always wanted a smaller wedding because I love the intimate feel. You'll have more time to see your guests and chat with them, you end up saving money so you can splurge on other things (we want to have an amazing honeymoon in Hawaii and it's not cheap haha), and it feels just less stressful when it's your closest family and friends and not a lot of people you haven't seen in years.

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  • D
    Dedicated October 2021
    Dizzy ·
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    We are just getting started, but a quick list is already over 130. And that's missing people my sister told me my mom would want, and others IDK about yet on my partner's side. TBH, IF it's safe, really want to have a big casual party with all the friends and families. We are all going to need it after the last year. And it's the last big party either side of our families for a good 10-20 years or more (the next generation). Also, again if it's safe, just really missing my friends from medical school I haven't really seen in years other than at people's weddings or if i visited there- I moved cross-country and only one has been able to make it out this way. We will see what happens...

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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Rockstar March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    We had a destination wedding with 15 guests and a local reception with 50 guests. Our local reception had the party vibe (band, Frank Sinatra impersonator), and dinner/drinks/dancing, wedding cake. We loved having a smaller guest list. 50 guests are plenty for a party vibe but small enough to mingle with everyone and splurge on the experience!
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  • S
    Dedicated December 2021
    Stephanie ·
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    My fiance and I decided to have a small wedding with 75 guests just so we splurge on certain things like photography/videography, and possibly a photo booth, and of course the honeymoon for 2 weeks. I think a small wedding gives you room to do so much. In the end, do what's going to make you happy.

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  • Kaysey
    Super February 2020
    Kaysey ·
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    My husband and I started with the idea of having a small wedding; less than 75 people. As we made our guest list, our wedding started getting bigger and bigger. We ended up having a little over 140 at our wedding, but we invited around 175 total. I loved our wedding b/c those who were there were people my husband and I knew personally. We didn't invite people that his parents or my grandparents wanted there that we didn't know. We invited people we wanted there. Even though our wedding was larger, it still had the intimate feel of a smaller wedding because of how close we were with our guests. We knew each of them and they all got along with one another. Guests from our wedding who had never met prior to are now friends today and that is the best feeling for my husband and I. We had a good combination of local and out-of-state guests at our wedding and the fact that everyone got along so well and created new friendships makes me so happy!

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  • Abbythebean
    Beginner December 2022
    Abbythebean ·
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    No thank you! same thing happened to me! I was going on expecting a big wedding with different expectations and now i’ve completely backtracked! I came to the same conclusion of only putting on a show and not really want we wanted. and i feel the same way!! my fiancé and i are not party people and neither are most of our close family + friends. since you mentioned that, did you have dancing at your wedding lol? we don’t plan on it since we’re not really dancers but also want to keep our guest entertained 😬
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  • Katie
    VIP August 2020
    Katie ·
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    I had the same concern - I was convinced my wedding would be a bore! Didn’t turn out that way at all!! We did have significant dances only, so we added a special dance with groom and his grandmother, his grandparents (86 years old- bless them!) did their favorite polka, and I danced with my brother/Man of Honor. These were not choreographed but simple back and forth with a spin of the bride occasionally. We added a thank you speech from us, but my groom spoke on behalf of us. With a smaller crowd, it was nice that everyone could see us cut out cake and lots of guests took photos of the ambiance on the water. We played soft rock music. There was a lot more mingling then I expected too!! Can’t wait to see how your wedding transforms!!! ❤️🌸🥂
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  • S
    Just Said Yes April 2022
    Shasta ·
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    We're doing an intimate wedding. We currently have 52 on the list and we want to cut it down to 46 😬. The reason being we either do an intimate wedding or we'll have to invite 200+ people and frankly I don't think we'd get to enjoy the day much. So only the closest of family and friends that have been a big part of our lives the last seven years are getting an invite. Plus I now don't feel bad about adding some other fun elements like a champaign wall, photo booth and an ice cream truck from our favorite local ice cream shop.

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