Yobana
Dedicated October 2019

Guest count guilt

Yobana, on August 14, 2019 at 2:15 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 15
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I know in another world where I'm rich, I would even invite the mail man.... buuuut this girl is on a budget and I feel absolutely horrible not being able to invite everyone, I know feelings will get hurt and I know I will get the "thanks for the invite" sarcasm. how will I reply? what do I say?? has anyone had any one confront them about it? what did you do? Smiley cry

15 Comments

Latest activity by Alisha, on August 15, 2019 at 11:08 AM
  • Jill
    Expert April 2020
    Jill ·
    • Flag

    I would just say that your guest list and venue limitations did not allow for everyone you would have liked to be invited. You could offer to celebrate with them afterwards. I haven't personally had anyone say that to me but I still have plenty of time to get a comment or two. I would hope none of your friends are sarcastic about not being invited, but talking about guest list limits is a good response to anything you may get.

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
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    “We would love to be able to invite everyone. Unfortunately budget and/or space constraints don’t allow that. We’d love to celebrate over dinner/drinks/coffee after the wedding.”
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  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
    • Flag

    Yes! We have a very large community here and many of the people in it feel a bit invested in us since they watched us go from good friends to a couple and now to getting married. Some we wouldn't invite anyway, but others, especially some that have been there for me through a lot of personal ups and downs hurt to have to explain we just couldn't add any more. We found a venue that only allows 50 so we have been falling back on that a lot. We also decided that if people still wanted to celebrate we would have a separate celebration at a friend's bar and invite everyone. We want to make it a bit special so we actually bought garters to toss since we won't be doing that at the wedding. We also had conversations with people at work. I chose not to invite anyone and she only invited 2 people that she has know more than 30 years. We made sure everyone knew how much they mean to us, but budget, space, and family first made a lot of the decisions for us.

    It is normal to feel guilty, but unless a money fairy magically appears in your living room between now and your wedding date, you have to do what is best for you and your FS.

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
    • Flag

    Honestly, it won't be as hard as you think. "We wish we could invite you, but we're having to keep it really small for budgetary reasons" is as much as you need to say.

    Of course, if you're having 300 people there, it may be an issue.

    • Reply
  • Keri
    Expert November 2019
    Keri ·
    • Flag
    I feel the same way. I am a teacher sonInhave several coworkers who I interact with on a daily basis. I definitely couldn't invite the entire school. I'm sure some will understand, but I had to draw the line somewhere.

    People will understand and if they don't that is on them. Weddings are expensive!
    • Reply
  • A
    Dedicated August 2019
    Ashley ·
    • Flag
    I'm dealing with this too. My guest list is 25 people max. And people have come up to me and asked me where their invitation was. It was really awkward but all I could do was say we can only accommodate x amount
    • Reply
  • Yobana
    Dedicated October 2019
    Yobana ·
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    No one has said anything yet, but I am two months away so I know people will start to realize that theres not invitation for them Smiley sad I hope no one hates me after LOL

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  • Yobana
    Dedicated October 2019
    Yobana ·
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    I hate awkward and I know I will have a few people bring it up, personally I would never ask someone "why didnt you invite me" but some people just arent like me

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  • Jill
    Expert April 2020
    Jill ·
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    If they are really your fiend then they won't hate you! I would just stick to what the previous posters have said and make a budget/venue restraint and tell them that you would have loved for them to come if you could have accommodated them. Good luck though!

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  • Yobana
    Dedicated October 2019
    Yobana ·
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    I have a guest count of 100 and its mostly family but I have a small friend list and hopefully they dont feel offended

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  • Yobana
    Dedicated October 2019
    Yobana ·
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    I consider myself a social butterfly so I talk to sooo many and and so many people have asked me about my wedding and knowing they wont be invited makes me feel horrible to even talk about the wedding

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  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
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    While there are a few that it sucked to have to cut, it hasn't been as hard as I thought. And since we're adding an extra celebration with everyone it helps alleviate that guilt. Maybe that could work for you.

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  • Lenaya
    Dedicated January 2020
    Lenaya ·
    • Flag

    I am just a little more blunt and honest when this happens due to the fact that we are paying for 95% of the wedding day ourselves. we limited our guest list to 80 and those are all people we cant imagine having the day without. we already have a lot of people who we arent inviting asking when they're going to receive an invitation. most people understand but if we invited everyone we know we could easily be anywhere between 150 and 200 guests. it sucks but unless they want to contribute then they have to understand.

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  • Alisha
    Super April 2021
    Alisha ·
    • Flag
    You could let know that you wish that you could have invited them but you had a budget
    • Reply
  • Alisha
    Super April 2021
    Alisha ·
    • Flag
    You let your guests know that you wished that could have been invited but you were on a budget. Have you thought about having a small gathering after your wedding and have a big party. That way they can feel included. Or you can have a b list of guests because if you have someone who cannot attend from your a list you can invite people from your b list to the wedding
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