Guest Attire- What to say?

Your thinking is correct - adults know how to dress themselves. You do NOT need to tell them how to dress for your wedding.

Seconding Flighty. Let adults be adults

Agreed.

We are having a very casual wedding and a lot of our guests asked us what to wear. My answer was go home and change out of work clothes.

Awesome! thanks so much everyone!

We are having a small wedding, I am fairly certain the "suggested attire" will spread like wildfire since all 80 of our guests are family or close friends we talk to weekly....

My Mom and FMIL are crazy.... They are very traditional and very southern. Managing their expectations and reigning them in has been difficult. Now I have some backup on this topic

I would tell your guests if there are any specifics with the venue that might impact clothing choices (like outdoors, usual temperatures that time of year, steps, etc). Just a link to the venue (including where on the venue the ceremony and reception will be) and weather forecast would do! The rest they can sort!

Adults know how to dress

You are correct. Adults can dress themselves. If you do have ANY concerns with specific people you know, you can chat or subtle hint at this when you talk to them privately or in person or over the phone. Don't be obvious about it.

Otherwise, no need to put it on the website etc.

This may be an UO, but I kind of hate it when invites/websites don't specify formal attire or dressy casual or whatever it may be. I'm going to a wedding in June and I'm not sure whether to wear a nicer sundress or a gown (both could be appropriate depending on the style of the wedding, but I'm not close enough to the couple to know what that is). I just put an "Attire: Dressy Casual" on my website so people feel comfortable dressing down a little and don't feel like they need to buy a new formal dress.

@greenleaf, there is a wide berth of clothing options between sundress (which I'd wear to a picnic wedding) and gown (which I'd wear to a black tie event). I'd stick to a black cocktail dress if you are unsure. Stash a pair of more casual shoes in your car if you feel overdressed.

Also what does dressy casual mean? To me that's more confusing than no information at all.

OP, your instinct is correct, you cannot tell people what not to wear. Someone wearing jeans isn't going to make you less married at the end of the day.

You are right you don't tell adults how to dress.

Can you ask your guests to not wear certain colors?

I think they only time you need to specifically announce is if it is a black tie event.

I mean, I did put "business casual" on my wedding website (it asked, but I know, I know FAUX PAS, but whatever), because I wanted people to really understand this isn't a formal event by any means. But, honestly, most of that conversation has been word of mouth.

Like, when I saw my cousins at Christmas we were talking about the wedding and I stressed that FH and I just wanted people to be comfortable, even if that meant jeans and a t-shirt.

What my guests wear has no bearing on the day. It's still going to be a great day.

Hi date twin!!

I agree with PP. Telling grown adults what to wear at a wedding is rude, imo. I like @Richards idea!

Also congrats on your masters! That's amazing!

I like richard's idea about putting it casually in a FAQ if people are asking but other then that let people be adults. Hopefully they will get the hint from the venue and your invites as to the level of formality!

I agree they are adults and should (should lol) know how to dress, but if it makes the moms happy maybe write a little blurb on your website about the theme of the wedding? Not telling people what to wear but giving them an idea of the feeling and look you're going for?

I'm frequently have follow-up questions about attire! Mostly it's trying to figure out if the wedding is cocktail or semi-formal attire, because for DH it's a huge difference - cocktail attire he's wearing bright fratty pants and sports jacket, semi-formal he's in a dark suit.

It's best to be prepared to answer anyone's questions! Giving tips like reminding guests it will be outside, and giving examples of what the bridal party will be wearing helps (sets the tone for what the most formal outfits will be at the wedding). I always love it when people can give me a quick direct answer about ties / suits / blazers. Putting a kindly worded FAQ on your website or spreading it through word of mouth are best!

Awesome Thanks Everyone

Just have an answer ready for when people ask and let people know what the wedding environment will be like. I put the info on the wedding website about the venue, location of ceremony (outside) and reception (inside/outside). I went with a less formal invitation since we're hoping for people to look nice but not black tie. I've had lots of people ask and just say cocktail attire appropriate for an indoor/outdoor golf club in May.

Date twin! I think you only need to state the attire if it is something different from your normal wedding guest attire. I think most people know what to wear to a wedding (although reading some of the crazy stories on here makes it painfully clear there are people out there that don't understand "normal wedding" things LOL). If its something out of the ordinary (black tie, beach casual, etc) or will be outdoors, it's polite to tell the guests so they can be prepared. If its normal cocktail, no need to say.