Guest asked about night before and morning after wedding?

I heard of people doing this in the Mexican culture. People will show up to the house in the morning waiting for the reheat lol. I'm glad thats never happened to us, but my stepdads cousin had a quincenera for his daughter. Everyone went to eat in the morning. I feel that's too much. You're exhausted from the wedding, then having to serve people, no thank you.

With rehearsal dinner people usually do immediate family, wedding party and out of town guests. I think an hour or two away is still considered out of town if he’s staying at a hotel?

I told him breakfast at the hotel and told fh if he wants he could take us to Boston to explore before going to the airport 🤷‍♀️. I've just only met him twice.

The rehearsal dinner is basically going to be pizza or something. Anyone up there can hang out the night before but we're so tight on cash, it's between here and my parents house, everyone would be "out of town."

Staying is optional. Most people are close enough to drive up, it ends by 10, drive home or stay. Ceremony is at 4.

One of the venues we looked at offered a farewell brunch the day after the wedding, which just seems like an unnecessary added expense considering our very limited budget, but I know it’s fairly common especially with destination weddings.

Our hotel has a breakfast buffet. So we're making an appearance lol. But that's the extent of it

I think that is really odd for him to ask that. Almost as if he was inviting himself. If you aren't having other events that he is invited to then just let him know that you aren't having any other events.

I agree, that was a little odd of him to ask/invite himself. I think typically the rehearsal dinner is for the wedding party and immediate family so I don't think you are wrong to assume that. I mean I don't even know that a breakfast/brunch is something you are required to do. I think that when you are an out of town guest you come with the expectation that you are to provide yourself dinner the night before and breakfast the morning after the wedding. I think it is a little weird that he just expected you to do this.

For the rehearsal we are doing anyone involved in the wedding ceremony, immediate family, and out of state guests (wedding is near O'hare in Chicago but only those outside of WI and IL are invited to the rehearsal) which puts our list at 50 or so people. We are letting everyone know that we will be hanging out in the lobby with a cooler for anyone else who wanted to come by. We are also going to be in the breakfast area the next morning to see anyone who wants breakfast/leaving since we are not going on out mini-moon for a month but again, nothing formal or hosted.

I've only ever seen wedding parties invited to the rehersal dinner. But a lot of places say its polite to invite out of town guests. I think its unecessary.

Also a little awkward that he seemed to pry for an invite.

I also just learned about the morning after opening presents thing some people do in the last couple weeks when the fiances aunt tried to score an invite... I dont want to open presents in front of people.

I am from a highly traditional huge Irish Catholic family. So the traditional is to have a welcome for groomsmen and bridesmaids party lunch, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, early and long Latin language only ceremony that's roughly an hour and a half, a reception that last about 10-12 hours. And then there is breakfast...

So me and fh said screw this. Not only can we not afford it but also the whole thing sounds socially arduous. We're introverts that decided to do a non religious micro wedding. We're doing a pizza, cake and punch house party reception. There maybe chocolate strawberries for anti cake people. We're having a thank you brunch in the morning. So, 2 meals total instead of 5. We threw most nonsensical traditions out the window.

The reception only is fine for people though. It's the modern traditional.

Yes it can be a thing. Sometimes one set of parents will host the rehearsal dinner and the other a farewell brunch. It's big in my FW's family. I think it's too much. We're not hosting a brunch but will be enjoying the free breakfast at the hotel with everyone staying there. And maybe a late lunch with everyone if we keep the venue an extra day. We'll see.

I heard that the rehearsal dinner also included out of town guests. My FSIL's rehearsal dinner is Thursday, and my FMIL's siblings who are from California will be there. She is also doing an after wedding brunch, which she wants us to attend (we aren't staying in the hotel because the wedding is literally 25mins away from us). I think all that stuff is a little crazy. If you want to do all of it, I say do it, but if not don't let it trouble you. You're hosting a wedding, that's the event people are coming for. The next day we're leaving on our honeymoon too, I personally think that's the way to do it!

I think it is optional for OOT guests to be invited to RD. For some people, that would be almost as many people as the wedding. Just tell him, no other events planned. It was rude how he asked, but that is life.

Since it is a polite inquiry for info, take it as that, not asking to be invited to something. . . A lot of people arrange either a dinner or gathering for out-of- towners, or a farewell breakfast or brunch the following day ( even if couple not there.) People usually only have rehearsal dinners the night before if people needed are from out of town. In a wedding local to the couple and wedding party, they are often a week or two earlier on the weekend, and the actual rehearsal any time in the last 2 weeks when couple and officiant and church or venue available. So some may invite out-of-towners if only a few, to rehearsal dinner. Near us, out rural area with many restaurants open tourist seasons only, it is common for any local relatives to invite their own family, sort of extra family time, nothing to do with the wedding itself. . . . Very common for a bride to reply, I know Aunt Sue is inviting people to gather the night before the wedding, and uncle George and someone on the groom's side are having a day after brunch for any of our or their family and friends. And give phone numbers . . . . This makes it possible to do trips, airline ticket and car rental plans, since people usually do not issue written or word of mouth or email invitations to such things til very close to the wedding. . . . . I love it when people do this, whether a hosted meal, or everyone gathering at a place, then pay your own way. No obligation. But it makes the wedding a little less like a family reunion, everyone catching up on news, looking at each others family pictures, doing any happy birthday or guess who is pregnant type stuff, outside the wedding, day before or after. And it leaves the couple free to do what they have to, or relax, with a couple of relatives or school or work or army friends taking care of most out of towners if they want it. . . . I know brides from areas where this is less common, who get ? and think, they must be angling for an invitation to the RD. Sometimes true. But often just wanting to make plans around anything extended families, or a set of friends are planning.

Typically if any of your guests are from out of town or it is a destination wedding, then the rehearsal dinner is extended to them as well. We are doing our wedding out of state so a majority of our guests will be traveling. However, we cannot afford dinner for everyone so we are doing a dinner for the wedding party only and then opening it up to all guests for drinks afterwards.

In recent years, brunch the morning after has been a thing. My cousin did this - especially since they rented a tent and everything was still there. We are not doing this since while our tent will be up, nothing else should be the next day or we would have to pay a lot extra - including the venue space. It would literally end up being another wedding so we are skipping it. Most will be leaving that morning anyway so it would be hard to gauge the numbers. We may say we are going to breakfast here, join us if you would like!

Yes this is custom in my circle. It is all about being a good "host" for people who are coming from out of town to enjoy your wedding - if you have the means. Most weddings I've been to have had some sort of welcome drinks/open bar for everyone the night before, separate from a more intimate/exclusive rehearsal dinner. And then a brunch the morning after.

I'm sure your guest was asking just to know how to plan his weekend.

That being said, you absolutely do NOT have to have any events other than the wedding itself. People are adults and can figure out their own plans!

Were having a pizza party for OOT guests the night before the wedding (combined with rehearsal dinner) and possibly a brunch the day after the wedding. That’s what my parents are pushing for because all my cousins had brunches after their weddings. As a guest I always thought it was a nice gesture, but as a bride it’s a costly logistical nightmare 😂 at least for our situation. I don’t think you have to have one, but sounds like your friend just wants to know how to plan his travel.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, I was not up for a redo of all wedding plans and costs for 95% of guests.

View Quoted Comment

Lol, love this answer!