Groomswoman

I would have your FH (since she's on his side) tell her that she either gets a dress along the guidelines you and your FH put in place or she can attend the wedding as a guest. Sounds like she's looking to be the center of attention and also very rude in my opinion.

View Quoted Comment Completely agree with all of this. Either she wears the outfit you specified, or she doesn’t get to be a part of the wedding party on the big day.

I mostly agree with others about her dressing to your requirements as a member of the wedding party, but I also noticed based on the link you shared that's she's chosen a dress on clearance. Is it possible cost is a significant issue for her and she's trying to find something that will work? If that's the case, I'd probably try to be sensitive to her budget concerns and see if you can find a compromise.

Your fiancé needs to let her know that the dress she has chosen is not appropriate and does not meet the specifications you two have set. If she doesn’t want to follow those specifications, she doesn’t have to be a bridal party member. I do agree with MOB So Cal, If money is an issue, that needs to be discussed.

View Quoted Comment Money isn't an issue at all. She is a nurse and works three different jobs because she wants to not because she has to. She is a workaholic and would get bored if she wasn't working. She just likes to dress provkcsteilt

View Quoted Comment Posted the other before I was finished she likes to dress provocatively. She also purchased shoes that look like a stripper would wear.

View Quoted Comment Money isn't an issue at all. She honestly has more money than she knows what to do with. She just likes dressing provocatively.

View Quoted Comment In that case, I’d have your fiancé tell her she can’t wear that dress. You may just need to pick one for her and have your fiancé tell her it’s that dress or she doesn’t have to be a part of the wedding party.

View Quoted Comment He wanted me to pick her dress to begin with and I had planned on everyone being in the same dress, but no one could agree on anything. I didn't think it was fair to assign her dress when everyone else got to pick. However, she might leave me no choice. She is just very difficult. When we first started deciding stuff she pretty much told me that I better not think I can tell her how to wearing her hair, what shoes to wear, how to do her makeup or what color nails to have. She said another bride tried that and she told them no. I would never tell her how to do those things, but it still felt like she was threatening me.

View Quoted Comment I would be a little concerned about her attitude towards you. I never told my girls what their hair, nails, make up, or shoes had to look like and I let them choose their own dresses. I just said floor length and told them a color & the place to buy from. However, all of them asked my opinion on EVERYTHING before they made their final choices. I just feel like that is common courtesy when you are a part of someone else’s wedding.

View Quoted Comment I don't really like her, but she is my husband's best friend. She said all of this to me on the phone when he wasn't around. She tried making it seem like just casual conversation, but I could definitely tell the comments were meant to be a threat. My fiance told her from the beginning that although she is on his side that I'm not the one planning 95% of the wedding so she needs to be nice and respectful. He had to talk to her about her attitude after we went dress shopping because she wasn't nice to me or my girls. I never would or plan on telling them what to do. The only thing I asked was silver shoes and gave her guidelines for a dress which she can't even follow.

View Quoted Comment

Well then she can dress provocatively at someone else's wedding. Seriously, FH needs to have a talk with her, and explain, once again, that the dress she chose does not fall within the guidelines given to her.

I agree with the others here. If she can't get a dress that meets your specifications, then she can come as a guest and wear whatever she wants.

This is YOUR wedding. Don't let her call the shots. That's not what being a member of the bridal party is about. It's about supporting the bride and groom in whatever their vision for their wedding is. FH needs to remind her.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your advice. I think part of the problem is that her ex will be attending our wedding with his fiancee. My fiance has known the ex longer so there is no way we wouldn't invite him. My fiance introduced the groomswoman and the ex. The ex is the one that ended things so I think she wants to make him regret it. She mentioned something about needing to her look best because he would be there.

View Quoted Comment

I do get the dilemma here. But it still doesn't give her the right to trample all over your and FHs wishes for your wedding. She can still look beautiful (even hot) in a dress that meets your specifications. I sympathize, but it doesn't change my opinion. The primary objective of your wedding is NOT to make her ex jealous.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree. We just have to get her to agree.

Don't let her wear the dress if its not what you want. I have two brides men and they will be dressed the same as the groomsmen. It is your wedding and if she won't respect that than I would have the conversation about her attending as a guest and not as a part of the wedding party.