Groomswoman Advice

I think you should offer her the same option for hair and make up cause she might want it. As for the bridal shower and bachelorette you definitely don’t need to invite her to those aha. Maybe ask your FH if he wants her getting ready with his crew.

There's really no etiquette for a groomswoman. She can get ready with the bridal party or with the groomsmen. You can most certainly offer her the ability to get ready with you and the girls as for some of the other stuff, hair and nails - I'd ask your FH if he wants her hands and hair to match your girls.

What is she wearing? is she matching BM? I would have assumed she would arrive groomed and ready to go, not be treated like a bridesmaid. And if the guys get together a few minutes ahead, or have lunch together, Join them. As you said she is groom's
close friend not yours. So leave her out of everything bridesmaid, and include her in groomsman type schedule.

The only thing I would offer is if she wanted to participate in hair/make-up so she doesn't have to make special arrangements. Everything else you've described seems like it's for your bridal party...and she is not in your bridal party. Your FS should be planning those things for his groomsmen/women if he wants to.

You could give her the option of getting ready / doing hair, makeup, and nails with you guys. She might feel more comfortable getting dressed and doing hair/makeup with the girls and then going back to do groom's party photos. I wouldn't invite her to bach party unless the groom doesn't invite her to his party (which why would he do this?). I personally also wouldn't buy her a robe or invite her to do her nails unless you want her to be uniform with the girls on your side. Typically the bride buys the gifts for her side and the groom buys the gifts for the people on his side.

1. She's in the groom's party, so she would typically get ready with them.

2. Yes, you should absolutely offer her the same options as the other women in the wedding party.

3. No, she won't be in your getting ready photos. If your FH wants coordinating outfits for his side, he can get her one.

4. This is for you and your bridesmaids. I wouldn't invite her since she's not a bridesmaid.

5. I would invite her to the shower, not your bach. She should be invited to your FH's.

6. No, she's not a bridesmaid.

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She is matching the bridesmaids. I wanted her to wear a black dress to match the groomsmen's tuxes, but my fiance vetoed that idea.

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One reason I didn't know about the robe for her is because our photographer will be arriving when we get our hair and makeup done and if she were to pick either service if she should have a robe for A. convenience so she doesn't mess up her hair or makeup and B. so she coordinators with the bridesmaids in hair and makeup photos.

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I am letting the girls pick what they want their nails and hair to look like so it's not like it would have to be a particular style.

Man, that’s tough. Ignoring the wedding component, just the fact the fact that you don’t like your fiancé’s best friend is going to be hard in the future in general. I would agree with the others that she may be more comfortable getting ready with the women, and hair/makeup should be offered. I wouldn’t worry about the robes, party, etc. that’s focused more on bridemaids.

View Quoted Comment So you can invite her out of courtesy

I would take out the wedding component here and consider offering her an olive branch. Not getting along with your FH’s best friend is going to be an area of contention for your future.
Invite her to be a part of these activities and try to come together as friends so that you can have a better relationship with her going forward.

1. I would let her hang out with, and get ready with, the guys. My bridesman hung out in our bridal cabin all day and it was just fine.

2. Yes, definitely offer.

3. If she does choose to get ready with you girls, I would get her something so she does not feel completely left out. It does not have to match you and your girls, but maybe something similar.

4. If you are not friends with her, I probably wouldn't.

5. Yes to the shower. No to the bachelorette. She can go to your fiances Bachelor party.

6. Is your fiance doing something with his guys? If so, she should join them.

View Quoted Comment Have you asked her if she even wants to join your group for things, considering that she may not want to have her hair etc. done with you? Might prefer to make arrangements for her ownhair, or do her own? And might not want at all to hang out with you and your ladies, for grooming and getting ready? It sounds like you intend to be nice including her. But when I have been on the groom's side, and people have just assumed I would want to hang out with the bridesmaids, the truth has been that I did not want to, and would never have said yes to standing up if I had to get ready with the Bride I did not dislike, but did not care about, or a bunch of women not friends. This whole business of bride's whole side getting ready together and having all pro services on site is a new, TV inspired team wedding thing. And huge numbers of people still expect to get ready on their own, especially if local. Have your FI ask her, does she want to be part of your group, or take care of her own grooming and join the men shortly before the wedding. Also, not a particular friend of the bride, she should not be invited to bring a gift and attend a shower. Unless everyone from groom's side is? Showers aren't for everyone female. Traditionally, wives and girlfriends of the groom 's friends are NOT invited to a bridal shower unless they are also very close friends with the bride already. Nor his female friends. Have FI ask.

Don’t invite her to the chick flick. That’s a stress free time for you.
It would be nice to include her in the hair and makeup. I was a groomswoman in a wedding and was forgotten. (I could have used the help). A Robe would be nice too so she doesn’t feel awkwardly left out.
You don’t need to invite her to nails, that’s bonding time for you and your crew. The shower seems fine.
My fh sister is on his side, but I included her on things.