Groomsmen trouble

Generally speaking, it is considered rude to kick people out of the wedding party. If your FH is okay with ending his friendship with this friend, go ahead. But he obviously likes this friend enough to want him to be a groomsman. You don't have to interact with this person very much the day of if you don't want to. I think you should respect your FH's choice in groomsmen. He picks his side, you pick yours.

It's up to him to choose his men. You can choose your ladies.

Kicking someone out of the wedding party is a potentially relationship ending move, and this guy was close enough to your FH that he wanted him in his small group of groomsmen. So you might now be costing him one of his best friends.

I am of an unpopular decision that really it is up to you and FH. What a majority of people will say on here is: 1) it's too early to be asking for people to be a part of your wedding (they will say 6 to 9 months out typically). 2.) They will say it is very rude to unask them to be in the wedding. Once asked that's it. Regardless of feelings and fallouts. 3) they will also say this will end a friendship more then likely. If this is someone you find annoying but your FH is close to...it may be worth jut biting your tongue for the day. But like I said....I am of the firm opinion that it is between you and your FH as to what happens. Ultimately it affects the 2 of you the most.

Kicking someone out of the BP is a friendship-ending move, don't do it!

Also you shouldn't be asking people this far out.

He regrets it now because he asked him casually without thinking

Tough spot. We had a similar issue. My FH drank a little much and was excited at the engagement party and told his sister and five other friends they could be in the wedding party. I wasn't too thrilled since i wanted a very small wedding party like 2 people each. Suddenly we had six on each side!

We compromised and we cut the wedding party but just made the extra guys ushers.

I think it would he a good option for you. That way he's still thinking he's important without having to be right in your face the entire day. He was already asked to be in the party, so cutting him out completely would be a bad move.

Yes, you are being unreasonable. This person is obviously close to your FI or he wouldn't have asked him to be a groomsman. You choose your side. He chooses his.

If the two of you are rude enough to ask this man to step down, don't expect it to end there. Your other friends and family will end up taking sides.

It's rude to kick someone out and you will be so focused on your FH that day that you probably won't even notice him. I wouldn't want my FH to ruin a friendship.

He gets to pick his groomsmen. He doesn't have to "run it by you".

What if he told you that he isn't fond of your bridesmaid and close friend? How would you feel if he said she couldn't be in the wedding party and asked you to kick her out and end your friendship?

Do you mind to be more specific about what he does that annoys you?

He's loud and obnoxious and has two very separate personalities. One day he's church going god is everything l, the next he is super inappropriate and vulgar. Just very off the wall and never know what to expect.

Although I can understand where you're coming from... Personally I think it would be rude to remove him. I also think it's a little mean towards your FH if he wanted him there. Unless he's done something blatantly awful to you, then if he's FH's friend, and he wants him there... he can be there. My FH has one of his friends who is not at all my cup of tea either, but it's also his day and he needs to be able to also share it with his friends. I see it as a compromise to make for someone you love. I think his friend is annoying as all hell, but you know... still his childhood friend, so he will be there and I know it will make FH happy. I think the groom should be able to choose his GM without "having to run it by" anyone... just like you as the bride can do the same. I think once your day comes there will be so much going on you won't even notice him, but your FH might notice his absence. But then again, like JennBell said, it's ultimately what you two decide... Good luck!

You can't un-ask.

It's really not your choice. He should have those he loves stand by him. How would you feel if he told you who to pick? He's just going to be standing there for 20 minutes for the ceremony. How much can that possibly annoy you?

While the changing personalities does sound annoying, he won't be talking during your ceremony. While taking pictures he won't be able to talk much either. I doubt he will be getting ready with you preceremony, so that shouldn't be an issue either. Ultimately, I don't think it would be worth the drama or feud to ask your FH to rescind his request.