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Imamanda12
Savvy November 2019

Groomsmen and bridal party struggle

Imamanda12, on October 2, 2019 at 11:41 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 1 20
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I’ve picked out my bridesmaids dresses already. I had issue with that. I originally wanted all the bridesmaids and maid of honor in the same
color, wine/burgundy. I wanted the maid of honors top of the dress to be different with the bridesmaids. I went to David’s Bridal with my Maid of Honor by herself and picked out her dress. I loved it! Then a couple weeks later I went with my bridesmaids and I told the lady assisting me that the color of my maid of honors dress was Wine. She pulled out all the wine colored dresses and I noticed it was much different than the color of her dress. What I wasn’t told was the dress I got for my maid of honor was a “special occasion dress” and not a bridesmaids dress so the color wine is different. So I decided to use my second color, blush pink for the bridesmaids. I picked out the dress I wanted them to wear and the lady came back and said she couldn’t get the dress in blush pink or anything close to it. So I went with the next best thing... pewter gray. Now I’m trying to match the groomsmen stuff to the Bridesmaids dresses and I’m struggling. I sent my fiancé to do it by himself which was not a good idea because he came back with a price of 370 for EACH groomsmen... so I went back with him and got it down to 235. The colors are matched to a T and I think it will look great. I was so relieved now that it was solved. The price was a bit higher than I expected but still better than 370. Now my fiancé’s sister (who is a bridesmaid) is complaining about the price for the groomsmen attire (her husband is a groomsmen) and asking if she can just go somewhere else and rent one as close as possible to what we picked for cheaper. I don’t think that’s a good idea. So now I’m trying to find suits for rent for cheaper so that all the groomsmen can be the same. I’m struggling because I can get a swatch for the pewter gray but not the wine color because it’s a “special occasion dress”. Currently we have the rentals at men’s wear house. What do you suggest to do? I’m stuck and panicking because the wedding is getting close...


Groomsmen and bridal party struggle 1

Groomsmen and bridal party struggle 2

20 Comments

  • Stephanie
    Dedicated October 2019
    Stephanie ·
    • Flag

    My groomsmen paid $179 for their suits and when my FH was a groomsman last year -- his was $275. That's a pretty normal pricing. As for my own suits, for the groomsmen, I did budget a bit of 'help' into my wedding -- in case my bridesmaids or groomsmen fell onto hard times. I've assisted a few of them in getting dresses/partial payments on suits.


    Is she the only one complaining about the price? Honestly, people know what they're getting into when they are asked to be in a wedding party and they're welcome to bow out. I don't honestly think that $235 is a bad price, in the slightest. If it's such a hassle and you want that color, then stand your ground. Maybe ask her what she'd think is reasonable and then pay off up until that, to keep the color you're looking for and to avoid stress. It's not necessarily your problem to pay for, but if you want something and you're having a hard time finding it elsewhere --- sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.


    Honestly, if she's the only one saying anything, I wouldn't be concerned about finding a whole new place to rent from.


    You're really doing this the hard way, imo.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    Our groomsmen rented from Gentux. It's an online rental service, they reserve online & the suit is sent straight to their house. They rented a black jacket & black pants, then we let them wear their own black dress shoes, black belt, and white button down. We paid $10 each for their ties, $5 each for their pocket squares, and $10 each for matching socks. I personally think over $200 is way too much to ask a GM to pay for unless the bride & groom consulted with every individual person prior and they are 100% okay with it.

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  • Imamanda12
    Savvy November 2019
    Imamanda12 ·
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    Yeah she’s the only one complaining. She was expecting to pay like 150 max and I have searched and searched and haven’t yet found anything around that price. The lowest price I’ve found was 199$. I’m honestly thinking about just paying the difference and call it a day. Although I really don’t want to do that. The thing that makes me mad is I asked the bridesmaids to wear cowboy boots. All of them have cowboy boots that match the dress so no extra cost were to be spent on shoes. She went out and bought a brand new pair of cowboy boots for the wedding even after I told her that her boots were perfect for the dress and what I wanted.
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  • Kiley
    Expert November 2019
    Kiley ·
    • Flag

    I had a similar situation happen and I gave up on David's Bridal's "wine" color. I ended up going through Azazie and using GenTux for suit rentals.. much more affordable!

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  • Imamanda12
    Savvy November 2019
    Imamanda12 ·
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    Yeah I kinda wish I could go back and not do the bridesmaids dresses the way I did but all of them have already ordered them...
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  • Stephanie
    Dedicated October 2019
    Stephanie ·
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    She's being difficult, then. She made an unnecessary purchase, imo. If you told her that her boots were fine, then I don't see why she bought new ones. Honestly, I don't know how much the boots were but I know they can be pricey because of 'trend' and what not... and brand. However, you might just have to split the difference and call it a day if you want to go with what you want to go with. Though, I'd be weary to do the difference of $235 to $150 - that's almost 40% off, see if she'll meet you at like $175 and you can cover 25%. That's fair, imo -- especially since she bought new boots. It's not your fault that she took on the extra expense rather than putting it towards something needed vs. wanted.


    I'm realistic with my Groomsmen and Bridesmaids, I'm not going to just hand money left and right with no regard for what I need to do -- but I will be nice and help out. In this situation, if you want what you want... help out a bit, but she really did make a purchase that could have been money better spent on the suit that she's complaining about.


    As for everyone's options on here, they have good ideas, too. I just think if you found what you want, it's easier to find ways to fix the one person than to have a headache.


    Another option --


    Honestly, I might even say don't worry about it unless he comes to you or if he's the type to go through her... then I'd worry. Maybe ask him if there's an issue with the pricing and if he says no, then don't concern yourself with her words. Basically: "Hey, I was making sure that everything is alright with the suits for the wedding, if there's something I might be able to do, let me know" -- type deal. Don't ask if he can afford it, that'd be rude, but leave it open for him to be like: "eh, it's a bit pricey". He really should be saying this, himself -- it has nothing to do with her other than it's "their" money.

    • Reply
  • Watts
    Super March 2020
    Watts ·
    • Flag
    Ya, I'm sure it's not fun to hear but asking someone to pay that much is a bit over the top. Our groomsmen are wearing black dress pants, black button up shirts with the sleeves rolled up, black vests, black belts and black dress shoes. We bought them the purple tie that matches the groom. Skipping suit tops since I like the vest look more anyways. Most of them are getting the outfit for less than $50. If $150 is what they can afford then I'd let them buy something that matches elsewhere or you can pay the rest. The wedding party should never have to pay more than they are comfortable paying.
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  • Imamanda12
    Savvy November 2019
    Imamanda12 ·
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    I’ve tried the gentux and got the swatches and the red colors are too bright compared to the “wine” dress
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Can you do black tuxes & just match the shirt or tie to the wine?

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  • Imamanda12
    Savvy November 2019
    Imamanda12 ·
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    See this is exactly what my fiancé wants! He likes the vest look much better! But all the rental places require you to rent the whole thing. Where did you go?
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  • Watts
    Super March 2020
    Watts ·
    • Flag
    And I know she's in your party but you don't get to judge all her purchases. Maybe she bought the boots because her old ones were becoming uncomfortable or something, honestly though, it's not your money and not your business. I'm not trying to be rude, I just see brides doing this all the time. $150 is a very fair amount for them to offer to pay, if she's offering that I'd say ok and pay the rest. It shouldn't cost them that much to be by your side, it's kind of rude to do to people you consider important if they already voiced concern on the price.
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  • Watts
    Super March 2020
    Watts ·
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    Oh, they are buying not renting. It's cheaper honestly. Like JC Penny's online constantly has 40-50% off sales. Etc. Old navy has 40-50% off sales all the time. They can go in try it on find the brand/size they like then order online. Gotta hack the system lol
    • Reply
  • Catalena
    Dedicated November 2019
    Catalena ·
    • Flag
    I don’t know if you have a Belks in your area- but that’s where we went to get my FH’s, and grooms men’s attire. They have really good deals every week on some things, and we got all of their pants (a total of 6) for $120!! Bought their shirts from Walmart for $10 a piece! And bought ties from Tiemart.com. We still have to buy my FH’s jacket but so far we’ve only spent around $200 in total for the groomsmen and FH!!!
    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Devoted December 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag

    So I didn't have an issue with my bridesmaid dresses, however I have a similar situation. Some of the previous posters are saying that your future sister in law is being difficult, but I don't think she is. My future sister in law is a bridesmaid in my wedding. Her husband is a groomsmen. And her kids are flower girl and ring bearer. So her dress ended up being just over $200 - they are designer and we didn't get them from David's bridal. When we went looking for tuxes last week, we knew they would complain. She started complaining before we ever went for tuxes. So we went and picked a tux and it was as cheap as we could get it at $145. We called all the groomsmen and told them and everyone was fine with it - except future sister in law and husband. She wanted to leave off the shoes because "he already has shiny black shoes". It would have only saved like $10. Fiance and I were kind of mad at first - I mean this is her brother's wedding and they are super close, why is she not willing to spend money on our day?! But after we talked and calmed down, we realized that her financial obligation is way more than any of the other bridesmaids/groomsmen. They have two attires to pay for and that doesn't even include their kids (which will be as cheap as possible but still cost money). And even though it seems money is no issue for them and they spend money on lots of things we don't deem "priority", we had to sympathize and realize maybe they are struggling behind closed doors and it's just a strain on them. And we really don't want our wedding to be a burden on them. So we called them back, and offered to apply our $40 deposit credit to their tux, so they only pay like $105. Groom's tux was free and the deposit was to hold our date and they told us we could either apply it to one of the other tuxes or get it back afterwards. So it was an easy sacrifice to make for us (what's $40 more when you're spending thousands already?) and it made them feel a lot better about it. We will probably buy the kids attire too if we can swing it just to alleviate a little more. But if I were you, I would look around at other tux shops. Maybe even some boutiques that sell prom dresses (they usually rent tuxes too and I've found they are cheaper). Over $200 does sound a little high for a tux to me but that could be a location thing. Just shop around a little and don't go with a place just because David's Bridal recommends it. Although on a side note, I think if you bought all your dresses from David's, the guys might get some sort of discount (I think I might have read 40% somewhere) on their tuxes so check into that too. And if you can afford to help with the cost of their tux, do it. Groom's should be free so maybe that will help. And keep in mind that at the end of the day, this is YOUR day. They love you, but your wedding is not the only thing in their lives that they have financial obligations too and it's not necessarily a priority to them the same way it is to you. I'm sure if they had plenty of money to spare they wouldn't mind at all, so if they are complaining it's probably because they genuinely cannot afford it.

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  • K
    Dedicated October 2019
    Katherine ·
    • Flag
    Personally, I’d just give her 50 or 80 or whatever towards it to get it to a number she’s more comfortable with. I wouldn’t try to change all the guys attire at this point because sounds like it’s causing too many other issues and won’t save that much.
    • Reply
  • Aleaj
    Expert October 2019
    Aleaj ·
    • Flag
    1st of all...beautiful dresses! I saw both of these at David’s bridal when i was looking for my bridesmaids dresses. We also first looked at men’s wearhouse, and they are expensive! So we went through a company called the black tux. It’s located inside of Nordstrom. You rent the entire suit & shoes for $185. Go on their website theblacktux.com and look for your state for an appointment! Everyone’s suits came fast & you can instruct everyone to get fitted before ordering!
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  • mrsanda
    VIP March 2017
    mrsanda ·
    • Flag
    Honestly, my husband bought his suit for our wedding and he wears it when he is in other weddings. We just get ties the cheapest we can from Amazon or even like TJ Maxx. I didn’t force my groomsmen to get a specific suit I just told them what I wanted them to have (black jacket, pants, shoes, white shirt, & an off white/ivory tie) everything was perfect, no one was super off looking and the photos are great. I think you’re too worried about the little details that most won’t notice. I wouldn’t pay that much for my husband to be in a wedding, it’s a lot. I know it’s your big day, but people may be under different stressors. I am just being 100 percent honest. Btw I love your BM dresses!

    Maybe he can get a suit elsewhere and get his tie from men’s warehouse?
    Hope this helps!
    • Reply
  • Kristal
    Expert February 2020
    Kristal ·
    • Flag

    Another option might be to have the groomsmen in normal black (or grey since that is one of your colors) suits and just have the tie coordinate which can be bought separately and get the cheaper suits (though it will still be a bit more expensive than she is thinking), it might sooth her and help with your coordination issue since ties in various colors are much easier to find.

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  • Cassi
    Super October 2019
    Cassi ·
    • Flag

    Our groomsmen are all renting and its still 205 and some change. I don't think 235 is ridiculous and I don't thinkl she will find many better deals for rent but I would ask her if shes so concerned to look into options and bring them to you so you can compare maybe? My girls are in Navy and my Guys are all in grey (light grey) and my dad is in a darker grey.

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  • Jasmin
    Dedicated July 2020
    Jasmin ·
    • Flag

    We ended up saying we'd pay the difference for our family members because I was tired of hearing their excuses and whining. They all had agreed to 180 and it came to $230. Not an expense I wanted to pick up but it was easier to just deal with it than listen to one more person complain about what my FH had his heart set on.

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