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Beginner August 2020

Groomsman Didn’t Order Outfit

Jessica, on December 21, 2020 at 9:23 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 24
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Hi Everyone! I just found out this weekend that one of the groomsmen never ordered his wedding attire. Mind you reminder #1 and #2 went out forever ago as our original date was supposed to be in August. He told my Fi that it was all set awhile ago. The pants are no longer available in the specific color. I’ve tried looking everywhere, but I’m also feeling like this is not my problem. All other attire and accessories have already been purchased to coordinate with this outfit most of which is past the return date. I’m to the point where I want to just tell him sorry (but not sorry!!!) and if he can’t somehow find the correct pant he isn’t going to be a part of the bridal party. I know this sounds harsh, but why should everyone else incur the cost to change everything not to mention my time wasted to replan something that I thought was taken care of months ago. Am I being ridiculous?

24 Comments

Latest activity by Ingrid, on December 22, 2020 at 5:01 PM
  • Apryl
    Dedicated March 2022
    Apryl ·
    • Flag
    You're not being ridiculous. At this point I'd just let him know he has to figure it out or not be in the wedding party.
    • Reply
  • A
    Super December 2020
    Anais Online ·
    • Flag
    I would let your fiancé handle it honestly since it’s his friend. How far out is your wedding?
    • Reply
  • J
    Beginner August 2020
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Sorry I forgot to mention this- it’s less than 6 months out which I know seems like a lot of time, but it’s going to go by very fast. And I’ve already had to replan literally everything because of COVID. I just want to be done 🙃
    • Reply
  • J
    Beginner August 2020
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Ok, I’m glad to hear I’m not being completely out of line haha!
    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah Online ·
    • Flag
    What kind of/color pants are they? Can the groomsman maybe go with someone else who has the pants and see if they can find a matching color/fabric? If they're a standard suit pant, it shouldn't be that hard if they go to a store like Men's Warehouse or Macy's.
    • Reply
  • W
    Super September 2020
    Willow ·
    • Flag
    You're not being ridiculous, but why isn't your FH handling this?
    • Reply
  • A
    Super December 2020
    Anais Online ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I know it’s hard but honestly I wouldn’t worry too much about it since it’s still so long out. Husband and his groomsmen literally ordered 6 weeks to a month in advance I can’t remember and it was fine.
    I would let your fiancé handle it because it is ridiculous that his friend lied and said he had purchased it. Just have him reach out to the company you’re ordering from and ask if the color is discontinued or will come back
    • Reply
  • A
    Super September 2020
    Alli ·
    • Flag
    That’s annoying for sure. The fact he lied about it is just funny but not lol I would just have your husband to tell him he doesn’t have to be in the wedding at this point. No big loss for you guys.
    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    Why isn't your fiance handling this since it is his friend? I'm also wondering what type of pants you are having them get because most people rent suits/tuxes for weddings rather than buying them.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    You’re not crazy! Definitely have your fiancé handle this since it’s his friend. I would tell your fiancé what you expect so he can lay it out for this groomsman.
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    What specific suit or tux pants don't they have? There are a limited number of manufacturers of formal wear in any given price range, so usually if you fi d it one place, you will find it elsewhere. If you have a manufacturer's pic or store one, please post it. Rent or buy?
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    No, you're not being ridiculous. Take the worry off your shoulders and place it on your fiance's. It's his friend.
    • Reply
  • J
    Beginner August 2020
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    We are having a boho wedding, suits and tuxes aren’t our style. The groomsmen were sent all the links to purchase their shirt and pants off of JCrew and it ended being way less than renting something and they have some basics they can wear again. FI is buying everyone shoes as a gift. JCrew doesn’t make the color pants everyone else purchased and I’ve checked everywhere else (eBay, Mercari, Poshmark).
    • Reply
  • Shelly
    Rockstar January 2022
    Shelly Online ·
    • Flag

    Yikes! I'm so sorry this is happening! I would def. have your fiancé handle this situation since the groomsman is his half of the wedding party and his friend.

    Have you tried contacting JCrew's customer service to see if they'll have the pants restocked or available anytime before your wedding?

    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Rockstar October 2019
    Meghan Online ·
    • Flag

    Nope, not being ridiculous at all. I would have your fiancé tell him that if he can't find the corrects pants by wedding day, he can attend as a guest.

    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
    • Flag
    You are being ridiculous. Your wedding is 6 months away. That’s more than enough time, too early even. You know how my pants from 6 months ago fit? They don’t.
    • Reply
  • Kari
    VIP May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    The groomsman completely ignored reminders from you and lied to your FH about having ordered his stuff. The groomsman needs to hold the blame here; he completely screwed up. You are not being ridiculous.

    If its not possible to find the suit anymore and all the other accessories have already been purchased (and the other groomsmen have purchased their suits), then you and your fiance need to decide two things:

    1) How important is it for this groomsman to be in the wedding?

    2) How important is it that everyone matches perfectly?

    In other words, if you look back at your wedding day photos, will you and partner be MORE upset about this guy not being there, or him wearing an outfit that doesn't exactly match everyone else?

    If having this guy involved is really important to your FH, then I would try to find a way for him to still participate. If the wedding party matching exactly is really important to you or you and your FH, then maybe the groomsman can participate in a different way, such as doing a reading or otherwise being "in" your wedding but not needing to match the other groomsmen exactly. I do think its important your FH takes on the responsibility addressing this (and the consequences) with the groomsman.

    • Reply
  • needmorewine
    Expert May 2016
    needmorewine ·
    • Flag

    What color are the pants? If they were from a brand like J Crew then it's highly likely he can find the same color in a different brand. No one will notice if they aren't the exact same pants.

    • Reply
  • Kari
    VIP May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    I'll also point out that if you are just looking for pants (not a full suit), and the color you picked isn't something unusual, you will probably be able to find something else really close and its unlikely that it will be very noticeable if pants aren't an exact match. People aren't staring at legs usually - the attention is on people's faces, so it would be more noticeable if a jacket or shirt and tie looked different.

    You could also look on Poshmark, Mercari, ThredUp or similar consignment/resale websites to see if you can find the exact pants in the correct color and size. It may be a long shot, but you never know, you might find a NWT pair of exactly what you are looking for.

    • Reply
  • J
    Beginner August 2020
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Well, of course the pants happen to be this beautiful shade of rust brown that isn’t the easiest to match. I’d be ok with a different style of pant as long as the color was pretty close because at this point there aren’t many other options. Hopefully he will find something, but I’ve been scouring online and have ordered a few pairs and of course once they arrive they aren’t even near the same! I’m waiting to hear back from JCrew to see if they can help, but again I have enough to deal with so I’ve put it back on him and future hubs at this point!
    • Reply

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