Groomsman can't attend wedding, do we still give him a thank you gift?

Absolutely because even if he can’t make the wedding day, he still put in a lot of financial and emotional support that needs to be recognized.

I would definitely still give him a gift for his support. If you wanted to still try to include him in your wedding day, would he be able to attend virtually?

I would say yes. Especially since he did try to get leave to be able to go.

I don't think you have to, but considering that he probably feels bad that he couldn't get out of training and will be missing it due to circumstances beyond his control, it would be a nice gesture. It will let him know that you understand and don't hold it against him.

I'd definitely still give him a thank you gift. He couldn't get the time off for training which is out of his control. It would be different if he had chosen not to come because he'd rather go on vacation.

Did he spend any money on the wedding? Bachelor party planning? If not, then no. He’s not actually a groomsman if he’s not at the wedding.

View Quoted Comment No financial or time investments were made on his part. Our wedding is out of state so we haven't gotten to that point yet. I asked my bridesmaids that know him and they also said probably not necessary to give him a thank you gift.


Thanks everyone for your input!

I would send him something to show you appreciate that he wanted to be at your wedding and you hope you can get together when he’s done training.