Kim
Just Said Yes October 2021

Groomsman can't attend wedding, do we still give him a thank you gift?

Kim, on August 1, 2021 at 4:00 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 8
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My husband and several groomsman are in the Army. One of the groomsman cannot be in/at the wedding due to training for work (Army denied his leave). If he won't be in the wedding, do we still give him a thank you gift?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Samantha, on August 7, 2021 at 8:17 AM
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Absolutely because even if he can’t make the wedding day, he still put in a lot of financial and emotional support that needs to be recognized.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    I would definitely still give him a gift for his support. If you wanted to still try to include him in your wedding day, would he be able to attend virtually?
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  • S
    Devoted September 2022
    Sarah ·
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    I would say yes. Especially since he did try to get leave to be able to go.
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  • T
    Expert May 2010
    Theresa ·
    • Flag

    I don't think you have to, but considering that he probably feels bad that he couldn't get out of training and will be missing it due to circumstances beyond his control, it would be a nice gesture. It will let him know that you understand and don't hold it against him.

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  • Katie
    Expert August 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    I'd definitely still give him a thank you gift. He couldn't get the time off for training which is out of his control. It would be different if he had chosen not to come because he'd rather go on vacation.
    • Reply
  • KYLIE
    Super May 2019
    KYLIE ·
    • Flag
    Did he spend any money on the wedding? Bachelor party planning? If not, then no. He’s not actually a groomsman if he’s not at the wedding.
    • Reply
  • Kim
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Kim ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    No financial or time investments were made on his part. Our wedding is out of state so we haven't gotten to that point yet. I asked my bridesmaids that know him and they also said probably not necessary to give him a thank you gift.


    Thanks everyone for your input!
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    I would send him something to show you appreciate that he wanted to be at your wedding and you hope you can get together when he’s done training.
    • Reply

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