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Dedicated July 2014

Groomsman cannot make it : (

DC Bride 2014, on April 4, 2014 at 7:13 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

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One of the groomsmen in our wedding will not be able to make it because he is being deployed. FH is very bummed, but completely understands. I hate seeing him feel that way : (

Being down a groomsman means the guys and girls will be uneven. Is it ok to have the sides uneven? We feel awkward asking one of his other friends to stand in, since they were not asked in the first place.

Thoughts? Thank you.

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Cheetah2B, on April 4, 2014 at 9:52 PM

Master May 2014
MizizAngi · on April 4, 2014 at 7:20 PM
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I would keep it uneven to pay homage to your deployed friend.
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Master August 2014
A&G · on April 4, 2014 at 7:21 PM
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If you and your FH are fine with the sides not matching then it is fine.
If it is not ok then you will have to find someone to fill in.
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Super June 2015
Mina · on April 4, 2014 at 7:27 PM
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There are no rules that say sides have to match. I think you pay homage to the groomsman and also keep him on your program. I wouldn't have anyone fill in for him. I think it would mean a lot to him that he can't be replaced. It's a wonderful gesture as a thank you for his service too.
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Expert June 2014
Carmella · on April 4, 2014 at 7:29 PM
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I feel your pain...One of our groomsmen just enlisted and he will be at basic training on the wedding day. We replaced him, but that was just my FH's preference. I have no issue with it being uneven...it will be cute if you have a GM with a BM on each arm!
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Master October 2014
Aronna · on April 4, 2014 at 8:20 PM
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Considering as of now I have 2 attendants and my groom doesn't want any. so I would say yes, it's ok

it all depends on what you are comfortable with . my groom told me this: "I'm ok if you have 30 bridesmaids, I just want you to be happy "
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Super June 2014
Crystal · on April 4, 2014 at 8:40 PM
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It can be uneven. 4 out of 5 of the gm and my FH are Coast Guard. They are constantly deployed and we run the risks of one of them getting deployed and we won't replace them.
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Master March 2015
Susan · on April 4, 2014 at 8:43 PM
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Yep, do not replace him, maybe even leave a gap between 2 of them. Include a note in the program or make and announcement. Please tell him THANK YOU!!!
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Dedicated October 2014
CoCo · on April 4, 2014 at 9:45 PM
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One of FH's groomsmen backed out bc he was asked to be in another wedding the same weekend as ours. Then one of my bridesmaids backed out because of her anxiety and depression (long story). Perfect, right?! Nope- because while my friend backed out of the wedding, my groom unknowingly asked another friend to fill in for the original groomsman.

So now we're uneven - but that's okay. I would rather us be uneven then me ask some girl who I'm not really close with to be in our wedding just to make for good, even photos.
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Master June 2014
Cheetah2B · on April 4, 2014 at 9:52 PM
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I have 3....2 for sure, as my other gf isn't sure if she will be healthy enough. Fh has 4, definitely 3, would have been 5. Except one is deploying. And he may only have 3 if one cannot get time off.
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