Grooms Parents...

Traditionally, the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner and the bride's parents pay for the wedding. If they want to be traditional (and I think it sounds like they do), perhaps you and your FH could say, "traditionally, this is the breakdown. My (your) parents or we are comfortable paying for the wedding. Are you comfortable paying for the rehearsal dinner?" If the answer is yes, great! If they say they would like to contribute more, great! If they say no, they say no and be gracious no matter what.

ETA: I hope this helps. When my second oldest male cousin got married, the bride's parents took my aunt and uncle out to dinner and said they wanted to do everything traditionally and they hoped my aunt and uncle were ok with that. They most certainly were and my aunt and uncle threw a lavish and amazing rehearsal dinner. The only rule is that the rehearsal dinner can't out-class the wedding.

I agree with you. Traditionally, I guess they pay for the rehearsal dinner. Regardless of what you'd like them to pay for, he should be the one to ask.

Honestly, those "traditions" about Brides family paying for this, Grooms family paying for that aren't really the same as they used to be.

If they want to contribute, and you are comfortable with that - just thank them & let them decide how much they would like to pay, or for what vendors, etc.

Anymore, "expectations" for who's parents pay for what are almost irrelevant. If you took a poll on WW, most users would say they are paying for their own weddings.

See I never gave thought to them paying anything. But his mom offered but then added the "what we are expected to pay...so let us know" bit. In my research I've found a lot of answers to this and a common one is "Traditionally, the parents of the groom take care of a few of the expenses including: the marriage license, officiant's fee, corsages, boutonnieres, the bride's bouquet, groomsmen gifts, liquor, and the reception DJ or band. And the bride's parents pay for everything else." But I am so lost.

What my fiancé and I are doing is my family is paying for the wedding and his family is paying for rehearsal dinner. I just talked to his mom about it cause she offered. Also they are paying for our honeymoon as our wedding present

@Ashley P, it is confusing! Especially when a lot of costs are bundled. Regardless, your FH should definitely be taking care of groomsman gifts. Some of those breakdowns are very nuanced and kind of hair-split-y. I don't think I've ever known of a groom's family to pay for a bridal bouquet or a reception dj or something along those lines. I've only ever heard of grooms' families paying for the rehearsal dinner. One groom's family bought the entire floral package for the bride as a surprise but that is not the norm in my area. Alternatively, you could come up with a budget (regardless of who is paying) and ask if there is a percentage of the total they are comfortable contributing.

ETA: DH paid for our marriage license and he and I paid for the minister together. It is customary for the Best Man to physically pay the minister though, regardless of who puts the check in an envelope.

Okay, this is how I would handle it. I'd tell him to talk to them -- he is their son -- and say, "Listen, Ashley is really uncomfortable presenting you with a list of wedding expenses. She's also really uncomfortable with the thought of just ignoring your question. Anyway, we kind of argued about it because she said there was no way she was going to ask you for donations and I said that she owed you some kind of an answer. So, we compromised. She went online and found an article on a very popular wedding website (The Knot), and this is what they say about the groom's family's obligations. Read it, but remember, we aren't asking or demanding anything.

"Traditionally, the parents of the groom take care of a few of the expenses including: the marriage license, officiant's fee, corsages, boutonnieres, the bride's bouquet, groomsmen gifts, liquor, and the reception DJ or band. And the bride's parents pay for everything else. Then again, today's guidelines of who pays for what are very flexible -- many times, the parents of the bride and groom will split the wedding expenses in half, or sometimes into thirds, depending on whether the couple pitches in. In the end, the amount of money you contribute depends upon your financial situation and how much you're willing to contribute."

This answer will give them to permission to do a lot or a little.

Centerpiece - as always, you nailed it.