Groom’s family refuses to buy/help with wedding flowers

Sounds a little petty to me. But then again, you have told us nothing about the financing of this wedding.

What did you offer to the couple? These days many couples pay for their own weddings.

I'd say because you're coming together as two families, just go ahead and purchase them. My fh's family isn't helping to pay anything for our wedding. I think traditionally, the bride's family pays for the wedding and the groom's family pays for reception. I definitely wouldn't say what you're thinking without thinking how it could come across. Again, you're coming together as a whole family but then to say, "oh, but you guys can get the flowers from here." just sounds a little mean. Give it some good think time before you do anything.

The grooms parents aren’t obligated to pay for anything. If you offer to that’s your choice. The couple should be paying for their wedding

Did they offer to pay? If so....ugh. Are you basing your question in some mythical agreement that the groom's family pays for flowers? If so.....buy the flowers. Also, if it is just the bouts and corsages, just buy them and be done.

Don't let it fester - buy the flowers.

We are paying for everything (down to his daughters flower girl dress, etc). Unfortunately my daughter recently lost her full time job so they are not able to financially help at this time. So you name it we are paying for it (with the exception of their wedding rings). I’m not meaning to sound “petty”, however, his family is able to help financially but refuses to do so.

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That must be a hard pill to swallow. Is there any way to push the date back and save up more money? It could alleviate some of the stress you're feeling, give your daughter some time to get back on her feet and find a job, etc. If not, good luck to you. I know it must be challenging.

As much as I'm sure it would be appreciated, it shouldn't be expected. They aren't obligated to pay for anything, especially if they didn't offer to begin with. I would just pay for the flowers, it sucks but in the long run it will definitely help to avoid an uncomfortable conversation.

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As the pp has said, neither set of parents are obligated to pay for the wedding. You chose to pay for the wedding. They chose not to. Your daughter and FSIL had the option to postpone until they could afford their own wedding.

Your daughter and her fiancé should postpone the wedding until they can afford to pay for it. It shouldn’t fall to you to pay for her wedding and grooms family has no obligation to either.

We paid for our own wedding. My dad generously gave us some money with (happily) no strings attached. I am in my 30s, my husband is in my 40s and it is his second marriage. We did not expect anything from any of our family. And we paid while I am back in grad school so we were one income. We had a long engagement to help absorb the costs in a more budget friendly way.

I would say if you are buying corsages etc then buy for his family as well. I can understand why you may feel frustrated but like others have said there is no obligation to his family to pay. You made a choice to help them which is wonderful, and I'm sure appreciated. But his family (no matter how much money they have) is not obligated to give any money to the wedding. You could do what we did and just skip corsages etc. and only buy flowers for the bridal party. That saves $$$ and solves the problem.

Being a planner.. If your following edict for weddings the groom /his family pays for ring honeymoon and sometimes liquor. Everything else is upto the brides family. . most dont do it this way usually but all depends on family etc.

No one has an obligation to pay for anything. As much fun and wonderful as weddings are, they are not necessary for a healthy and beautiful marriage. It is very generous of you to help your daughter and FSIL pay for the wedding. I do agree it seems a bit petty for you to refuse flowers to the in laws just because they don’t want to help with the cost. These people will be family soon, I wouldn’t want to start off on the wrong foot. Perhaps the in laws feel that they would rather help the couple in other financial ways considering your daughter just lost her job? But that is just a speculation.

View Quoted Comment You're a good mom. You remind me of my own mom. I'm going to be honest with you though. If your daughter lost her job, a wedding is the least of her worries. I feel like the wedding should have been postponed once she lost the job until she was back on her feet. It's probably too late now. So to answer your question, the groom's family doesn't have to pay for anything, even if they're able to. The bride's family also doesn't have to pay. You guys offered to, which is great, but you were under no obligation to. At this point, I'd just get inexpensive flowers (I promise you, no one will care about the flowers) and move on.

They don't have to pay for anything and neither do you. Most couples I know pay for their own wedding. If they can't pay for a wedding, how could they afford to start a life together? But that's just my opinion. I'm also almost 30 and m have been financially independent from my parents for a long time lol.

But you don't have to do the whole nine yards with flowers anymore. We're planning to do just mine and MOH's bouquets and boutonnieres for FH and BM and non-floral centerpieces. Unless it's specifically your vision and not a "that's what's done" thing, you can drastically reduce your floral budget. I wouldn't spend too much time being salty about it, though.

I'm reading that the groom has a daughter, leading me to conclude it is his second wedding? I would think that might be a factor in his family agreeing/not agreeing to help finance this wedding.

If you want people to have flowers, you better pay for them.

Agree with the other posters... its just better to pay for the flowers and move on. How much are six small flowers? $100? Is that worth pissing people off over? I’d save my bullets for a bigger battle.

My parents are also paying for about 90% of my wedding and then my FH and I are paying for 10% and my future MIl is not paying for anything. And honestly, if my mom said what you’ve been thinking about saying to my future in laws, I’d be very angry. Like cancel-the-wedding-we-will-elope angry. I can’t imagine that stress on top of being unemployed too.

I can understand how you might feel, but I’d recommend drawing your line somewhere else (that does not intentionally exclude only the groom’s family from some aspect of the wedding).

Weddings are about joy, love, and happiness and that’s the heart everyone should bring to the table... and if they can’t do that they should back off (preferably in a nice way).

Most couples these days pay for their own weddings or contribute substantially. Your willingness to pay for the entire thing is generous but that doesn't obligate the groom's parents whether they can afford it or not.

I'm on the opposite side. So my parents are able to help out significantly financially, and they are refusing. My mom finally convinced my step dad to pay for flowers. My in laws have generously agreed to pay for everything. I know if my in laws were not helping that my mother would still pay for flowers for my in laws. If you are paying for flowers for the wedding, you're paying for all the flowers. So if you are ordering a corsage for yourself, you should order one for the mother in law.

I see you are trying to be very traditional, OP, which I get to an extent. But just because people have the means doesn’t mean they have to. My grooms parents aren’t paying for a thing. Unsure why, as they have the means, but it is what it is. No shower or anything on his side either. Do what you can, I think it’s lovely you are doing so much for the bride and groom. Would you even know who to get flowers for? I don’t think throwing he ball in their court is unreasonable. See what they say.

I think it would be ridiculously petty to tell the grooms family they can go buy their own flowers. Six corsages or boutonnières probably cost $60. And I can’t even imagine how his family will read the tone of “go here and buy flowers if you want,” even if you word it nicely. I think it may cause drama or ill will between the two families. You don’t know his family’s financial situation and even if you think you know, they may not be able to be financially burdened with paying for the grooms wedding (possibly his second wedding if he has a child). If they’re struggling with money, they are probably not broadcasting it for all to hear. Even if they are extremely wealthy, you still can’t dictate how they spend their money. especially because this is possibly his second wedding. But even if it’s first wedding, still, not obligated.

While it is great that you offered to help pay for your daughters wedding, no parents are obligated to pay for their child’s wedding. Those rules are antiquated and most couples are paying for their own weddings these days. I’m sorry your daughter lost her job and it’s probably too late now but realistically, the wedding should have been postponed until the couple was financially sound. There are so many other financial challenges a newlywed couple is going to face especially with a small child in the mix and they should not become reliant on someone to help them every single time.