Grooms Attire (jeans)

A middle ground option I see is maybe being fancy for the ceremony, and for the reception he can go casual with the jeans and boots. That’s all I can think of. I totally understand your fiancé being so easy going and laid back, mine is the same way. We are deciding on our venue this week and they are a mixture of everything (ballroom, country club, barn). The only thing I’ve kinda been pushy on is wanting part of the wedding outside. Have you chosen your venue yet? I think that might determine how you go about the decision.

View Quoted Comment We haven’t chosen a venue yet, we are touring three this week most garden with inside reception all pretty causal if I’m being honest.

I did mention an outfit change he wasn’t a fan lol

Personally not a fan of the look but it's been done before (:

I would definitely wait and see what venue you end up selecting (maybe once he actually sees it, he’ll notice if jeans will be a no-go) and what dress code that will warrant from your other guests. I’m all for grooms picking their own outfits, but at the same time it also needs to fit the formality of the event that the couple has presumably agreed on. Like for a garden ceremony, even khakis/tan slacks with a light suit jacket would be a little more dressed up than jeans. Maybe I’m not sympathetic enough, but when it comes to men’s clothes, are slacks really less comfortable than jeans lol? But I think your suggestion of him trying on outfits you pick and outfits he picks is fair, and maybe once he can visualize the venue, he’ll be more open to your suggestions.

View Quoted Comment It has for sure been done and think it’s great for most weddings but I’m not sure it fits my vision. Maybe once we get a venue picked we can get more clarity.

View Quoted Comment This is helpful. I’m hoping he will see once he tries some of the outfits I had in mind that nice slacks aren’t as uncomfortable as his school uniform slacks (probably the last time he has worn slacks of any kind lol). As far as guest dress code I’m not concerned what they wear as long as they show up

View Quoted Comment Seems like you and your fiance have different visions if he wants to wear jeans and you want a garden party.

View Quoted Comment Yeah we probably do. We have a lot of venue tours scheduled and are in the early stages of planning so outfits are probably not a priority right now.

I ordered these for my FH (and my sons) for our beach wedding. They are SUPER lightweight, and my FH says that they are the most comfortable pants he's ever had. Worth a try!

Men's Cool 18 Pro Classic Fit Pleat Front Hidden Expandable Waist Pant

View Quoted Comment Thanks Pat I will look into them!

In my opinion no matter how causal a wedding is I don't agree that the groom or groomsmen should wear jeans. I say this as someone whose husband wore jeans as a groomsman because that's what was requested.

It’s his wedding day too so he needs to be comfortable as well. That gets forgotten when planning according to Pinterest and Instagram inspiration. If a groom wants to wear jeans, then compromise to allow for that. That may mean switching up your garden theme for the shower instead. There is nothing inappropriate about the groom wearing jeans unless the dress code is formal or black tie where the venue requires a tux in order to enter the premises. Wedding planning gives you practice compromising for the marriage as well on bigger issues you won’t see eye to eye on. Clothing choices are minuscule in comparison.

View Quoted Comment That’s exactly why I wanted us both to try each others preferences. I think it’s a great starting place. But, I don’t know if I’m willing to change the entire theme of our wedding so he can wear jeans. I think that’s an unfair compromise but I think when the right compromise for us comes we will know. Thank you for pointing out his needs

Yeah, I personally find that to be too much of a compromise when there are so many other options. This is one very expensive event with professional photography and others putting their time and effort in, so unless the theme and venue are casual, I feel like a grown adult can wear proper attire for one day. You’re not requiring that he wear a formal tuxedo, so you’re already not all the way on the other end of the spectrum. And as a guest, I would be a little annoyed if I had to get all dressed up and then I walked in to find the groom wearing jeans. He needs to budge, too, unless you ultimately change the formality of your event.

I'm not much help except to sympathize. Whether this is about so called comfort, trying to send a message, or it's all about expressing himself, he seems to believe this is only about him, but it's not. Dressing appropriately shows respect for those around you and the occasion itself. It would be just as inappropriate for someone to show up to a backyard barbecue in a ballgown. Good luck.

My fiancé and his groomsmen are wearing jeans and vests. (And boots) it’s who he is. I’m so happy with that, and then I’m wearing a flowy, large wedding dress. It doesnt “match” and I dont care. It’s HIS day too. If that’s his only request, what’s wrong with making that possible? Is it more important that he is less happy with his outfit and you get what you want? Or is it more about the two of you being together and expressing yourselves properly?