Groom has opinions on... everything...

Present it in a way that’s appealing to him. Evidently he doesn’t want to read or listen to a podcast. What I suggest you do is present a couple options that you like and would be comfortable with him choosing from and let him choose from the options you present and explain to him why these are the options he has to choose from.

I like pp suggestion! That way it narrows it down and he makes less of a suggestion rather than a choice between ones you’re good with

Agree with PP, plus this takes some of the decision making off your shoulders. I was so worn out with making decisions that whenever I couldn't decide I had him make the final call.

View Quoted Comment

Unfortunately when I try this, it seems to remind him of an opinion he forgot he had, so he picks option C, when presented with either A or B.

Note that when we started planning, we did the whole "tell me what you do and don't care about," and these are things he SAID he doesn't care about OR agreed with me on generally.

And usually, option C has no research behind it and is usually something I had already looked at and ruled out. But me explaining those hours of research to him has no impact.

It's like he can only learn from his own mistakes, but if I allow that, our whole wedding will be a bunch of mistakes in a row, and I definitely hope he's not planning to learn from them for "next time" lol

View Quoted Comment 100% this.
My fiance loves me dearly but I would never make him listen to wedding podcasts or read a wedding planning book, because he's expressed no desire to do so. It seems like y'all need to sit down and talk to figure out what you're expecting from one another in this planning process. This way you can figure out how decisions will be made and be on the same page about it, because right now you're both doing very different things rather than coordinating with one another.

Can you afford a wedding planner??

View Quoted Comment

Literally throw the book at him.

Ok, maybe don't, but when DH started freaking out about "not knowing what to do" - when the book was AT HIS FEET - I may or may not have dropped it in his lap a little harder than was strictly necessary.

Make it clear that his lack of knowledge and organization is making everything 3 times as hard for you, and damaging your relationship. Either he picks up that book and joins in/listens to your research, he picks between your two options, or whatever is the decision.. isn't getting done. Which may mean no DJ, no food, no invitations. Which means no wedding.

Basically, give him consequences.

I would tell him he needs to compromise. My FH could care less about most of it quite honestly. I picked the colors, decor, "theme", etc. He has been involved with the bigger decisions like the venue, date, bridal party, budget, accommodations, and honeymoon. He's a firefighter and VERY outdoorsy so if I asked him to read a book on wedding planning, he would laugh at me. He's happy with my choices and wants it to be the day I dreamed of. I of course run things past him still but he doesn't really care whether I do that or not. Sit down and talk to your fiance about compromising on things. It's sounding like your presenting ideas, they're getting shot down, and he expecting you to jump on board with what he wants. That's not fair. If he wants to be involved in every aspect of planning, you need to do it together.

Girl, who is really going to read a book about planning? That sounds awful, I would never request that of my fiancé. My fiancé wants to be involved but he’s not a “research” type person. I know this and therefore would not ask him to do something he isn’t interested in. For most of the decisions I narrowed it down to a handful of choices and we picked together. I like doing research and went through probably 15 venues but we only went and saw 5 together. The colors i picked (with both of us in mind) and all the smaller things like flowers, decor etc etc I gave him options that I liked and again we picked together.
It’s not really fair to dismiss his ideas, even if you think they suck. For colors, show him color palates on pintrist, ask him for one or two colors and then show him options from there.
You can’t be upset that he didn’t read a book on planning, I like planning and that still sounds awful. What were the 7 colors by the way??

Just to give everyone an update, my fiance had actually asked for some resources to understand why I was saying some of his ideas were not workable, so I suggested the book and podcasts, and he expressed excitement to have something to guide him and help him understand when he was making assumptions. I didn't buy it in secret and give it as a reading assignment, I promise! It just became overwhelming for him once he actually had it. And unfortunately, none of it really matters right now because instead of compromising on colors, we both decided that we need to focus on what to do if we can't have as many guests as we planned for, but still have to pay for everything on the scale of a 250-guest wedding, because of the pandemic... It is amazing how some things can help you both focus on what matters. His romantic ideals of a wedding from watching movies as a kid, and my need to feel like I "did the planning thing efficiently and correctly" have both given way in the face of the harsh reality that we need to make sure we don't kill our remaining grandparents, and still find some way to involve everyone who matters to us in the celebration, without losing all our deposits pulled from the money set aside for said celebration in the process.

Not gonna lie, I have two wedding planners and I don’t want to read either of them. They are boring as hell so I can’t really blame him there. Making him sit down and have a whole wedding planning meeting with him isn’t going to hold his attention at all. Make those wedding talks shorter and to the point. “Hey do you have any thoughts on XYZ? Can we take a look at a few things and see what’s what with it?” But do that before you’ve done all the research. It kind of sounds like you have already made your decisions from the research before getting his input. So start with his input first and then do a little (key word little) research on the spot with him. If he has an opinion great! If not, he’ll get bored and you’re free to continue with your research alone.