Groom Duties

Planning wise my husband did very little. He gave input, but actually handling most things was up to me. He did however attend all vendor meetings with me, help with stuffing the invitations and putting them in their envelopes, he designed our save the date, and he organized having his groomsmen go with him to their tux fitting, but him and I went together to pick out the tuxes. I handled picking venues to look at, finding the vendors we met then booking them, and all of the other little details.

Unless you are marrying yourself, there should be equal planning and open communication between the two of you. You don’t “assign” anything. When you first decide you want to get married, then figure out between each other what aspects each will prioritize. Put planning on hold until you reach that agreement to work together. For example, many grooms are in charge of securing food/beverages, dj , etc because those are important to them. Whereas other vendors may not be. For things that may not be as important, still get their feedback.

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Asking how much of the planning the groom should do is like asking how much of the housekeeping and child rearing the husband should do

My husband and I did all of the planning together for our wedding. I kept track of the to-do list of what we still needed to book or buy or get info on, but we both took on tasks from the list. Absolutely ask for your fiance's help - it's his wedding too!

View Quoted Comment You're right, I'll talk to him about that. I know he does really want to do his part, he just isn't sure what there is that needs to be done.

View Quoted Comment I see your point. My fiance and I definitely split housekeeping 50/50, so it makes sense that we do the same for this.

View Quoted Comment Together after you figure out what you want, you interview vendors and ask what they offer vs what you want and don’t want. You sign a contract and move on to the next vendor. Then show up at the wedding.

Hi ok I had my now husband help with picking our colors, and help with picking out our wedding invitations. Also we wrote down the guest list as well down to cake choosing our first dance. Our wedding bands and choosing his groomsmen. But for most of the wedding planning it was me and yes I was stressed out too plus dealing with and injury and trying to recover. But putting him involved then he can see what you are dealing with. Happy planning and Congratulations to you both

I’m the main contact for all of our vendors just because it’s easiest to have them just call one person, but I don’t sign off on anything until I’ve run it by my fiancé. Honestly, the few things he’s tried to take the lead on handling, he’s come back to me with a million questions anyway, so it’s been faster to just be the point person and go back to him to make sure he’s good with any decisions. For scheduled calls and meetings, though, we both attend. Even if I got busy, I wouldn’t want to miss out on any of those and would just reschedule. But this is how our whole relationship is. Like if we are going vacation, I do a ton of research into what activities there are to do and then send the list to him so we can decide what to actually book. I’m a Type A planner, and he’s not at all, so this is just our system that we’re both happy with. You should do what works for you and your fiancé.

I just had this very conversation with my fiance. Ive done the heavy lifting and told him the honeymoon is on him, lol. I think times have changed and weddings have evolved into much more than a ceremony with guests. Since he's up for the task, let him have a shot. Give him those things you trust him to do. The things you need to.keep your hands on, just keep. It's great you have a willing partner. Allow him to be just that. Best to you both!

I've actually asked the same question but for the opposite reason, because my fiance is trying to plan a little too much lol. I said to him last week "you know you're definitely an odd ball because most men just show up to say 'I Do' and want no parts of the planning, you are trying to take over planning lol" so I told him I let him know what I need help with and what I have under control. Of course this is just our playful banter but in all reality I am actually really happy that he wants to be included and cares enough to want to help. If your SO isn't helping I'm assuming it's because most men think the women don't want their help, and let's face it, there have been plenty of 'bridezillas' out there to prove that point, but I'm sure if you just let him know that now you don't have as much free time that you're starting to get a little stressed and overwhelmed with it all and would like his help that he'd happily jump in wherever you need him!