Great Aunt Who?

My Mom said that especially now that she's moved to where we live, she needs to be invited.

I agree, his family, his responsibility.

I agree with above posts his family his choice.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. It's totally up to your FI whether or not he wants to include certain family members. If neither he nor his family are pushing to invite this woman, then all you can do is go along with it. You've done your due diligence and offered to invite her. You could to more harm than good if you invite her behind your FI's back just to make your parents feel better.

You're not being a bitch.

My dad comes from a line of a lot of siblings. Several of which I have met maybe twice in my life because they were always in prison. Well, I'm not inviting those siblings. I probably wouldn't recognize them in a line up.

If there is no relationship there, why invite her? She'd probably be surprised to get an invite.

If you go by your mother's "wedding politics" then your guest list could get very large, very quickly. Inviting a relative you're not close to does not make financial sense. And if he doesn't want to invite her, that's on him.

You are definitely not being a bitch. They haven't spoken in years and he has no interest in inviting her. It is very reasonable that she is not invited.

Thanks ladies, that's what I figured. Especially if his own parents have never mentioned her before! I don't know why they haven't spoken or seen this woman in 10+ years, for all I know something could have happened between them and they cut her out for a reason!

@Lauren- I've already caved to some of her politics, some of them I don't mind and I don't go for the ones that are too crazy. I think this will be one I don't submit to. His family, his circus, his monkeys. If they want to get upset later and ask, then FH can just explain why.

Not at all! My FH isn't inviting an actual aunt. It's caused some huge drama. But he doesn't like her, doesn't want her, thinks she's nothing but drama. I'm not pushing it. I don't know her. His mom is pissed at me anyway so at this point I'm not too concerned

It's there a reason to not invite her? I don't think you have to, but if she lives in the same town now things could change with the relationship you could see her More or something could happen to her if there's room I would invite her, you may regret it if you don't

@Stitching- She moved to where our wedding will be located, where my parents I currently live (me temporarily until grad school is set up, them more permanently). My FH will still not see her, until grad school starts he'll be going back to where his parents live 3 hrs away from us and (now) his great aunt.

If he doesn't want to invite her and his parents haven't mentioned her then I wouldn't invite her. Maybe there is a reason behind them not mentioning her like maybe a family dispute or something. If there is an issue and you invite her anyway there could be extra tension you don't need to deal with on your wedding day.

No defiantly you don't have to invite her. Do however double check with his family before the invites go out. All of our parents a remarried, my FFIL has a lot of siblings and they all don't get on. As a result only some of FH aunts and uncles were invited as only certain ones go to certain weddings (can't beat family politics) anyway before all the invites were sent out we doubled checked with all four parents to make sure that there wasn't anyone else that they wanted to invite or that we had missed out. FFIL was asked twice!! We were told no, we had everyone. Last week FH was visiting FFIL and got asked why didn't we invite aunty X (FH hasn't seen her since he was 2, I had never heard of her before!). It wouldn't have been a problem to invite aunt X but we were told not to and we had asked his father twice if we had everyone from his family that should be there!!! So yeah my advice is maybe just double check with his family before you send out the invites..

We didn't invite one uncle/aunt, from each side. I don't know what the in-laws' story is, but on our side my father might e-mail his brother once a year. My parents don't exchange Xmas cards with them, or even know their address, other than the city. Our venue held less than 100 people. Why would we want those 4 relatives there, if we have no relationship with them?

No, leave it up to your FH. If his family didn't think of her as close enough to invite, then it could be awkward for her to be invited.

Absolutely his choice. I don't see why they are acting like its your place to decide. I don't push my fiancé to invite anyone. He essentially didn't want to invite his own brother. Not my business.

We are getting some pressure from FH's fam to invite some great aunts and uncles that FH barely knows, but they are from a large family with lots of "Catholic Guilt" involved (not my words). We are on a very tight budget, and I told FH that I'm fine if we need to invite them, but those who are doing the pressuring need to help out with the cost of the extra catering. Luckily it sounds like they just might do that.

Okay, so definitely let FH make the decision on this one and I'm alright if I do. I was already thinking of double checking with FMIL about it before making any final decisions, so I'll definitely do that @Maria!

Thanks everyone.

This is not your responsibility. If you're like me you have a list and your FH has a list. Who he wants to invite or not invite is at him. Especially someone he does not know. My opinion is that a wedding is for close family and friends not just inviting ppl for inviting sake. These things are expensive and I only want who should be there, ppl we know and ppl that have been there to share in our lives. She could have moved next door and it would make no difference. If you ever get introduced let her know you're getting married but that's it.