Grandmother Issues

Perhaps try to explain the location is a bit difficult to get to. Also be honest with her. My grandmother is not going to be involved in any way for my wedding, I don't even want her to attend. My grandmother is manipulative as well, and learned long ago, to be assertive and not back down.

ETA: words misspelled

This would be a tough one for me. My grandparents have all passed away and I'd give anything to have them with me, however I do have a manipulative mother so I feel you there. Maybe explain that getting up the trail I her condition regardless of having a scooter would be too dangerous and you wouldn't want her to get injured.

@sovatastic unfortunately, when I explained the trail situation to her, she told me "then you'll just have to get married in a church instead"... *sigh*

The hardest part of the whole thing is that my grandparents on the other side (my mom's parents) are incredible and in great shape so COULD hike in, but I feel like I can't invite them to the ceremony because we're not including my manipulative grandma..

I feel like I'll be the odd one out here, im inviting my grandma (dad's mom), I doubt she'll come as she lives in Massachusetts, and is in a wheelchair. I will not under any circumstances invite my grandma on my mothers side. My mother is upset but understands my decision.

If your grandma is that manipulative to the point you don't want her there, I don't see why you can't invite your other set of grandparents. It all boils down to what you want, and what you're comfortable doing.

Are all the other grandparents ok with not going to the ceremony? If so then I'd probably tell her again that it's not going to work and that you can't change the location because it's too late. I'm sorry you have to go through this especially after losing your grandfather.

Apparently, this is an unpopular opinion, but I can't imagine inviting my friends over my grandparents to my wedding. To me, having them around would be more important than the location.

Wait...........did you say that you already told her Yes at the funeral? That might make it a little trickier, but sticking to your guns about your ceremony site will hopefully resolve the issue. You can stick to your ceremony site because I'm sure the invitations are done, or you can say they are and that it's too late to change it now. My question is you are inviting people to the reception who aren't invited to the ceremony? Other brides will tell you that that isn't the best way.

@MrsFallBride, some are close with their grandparents, some aren't. Couldn't to pay me enough to invite my grandma.

But that isn't why the OP isn't inviting her grandparents. She's inviting them to the reception, but she'd rather have her location/friends than her grandparents, which is what some of us are objecting to.

OP said it's a bit of a hike to her location, and her grandma uses a walker, or would use a motorized scooter, though even that isn't exactly safe on a hiking trail. It does seem like she's like her other set of grandparents there.

It is a bit rude to invite people to the reception but not the ceremony.. some guests may be a bit offended at that.

It sounds like your grandmother might have changed her mind. Maybe not having her husband to care for and the combination of "life's too short" mentality has her rethinking her initial decision.

If you don't want her there, it'll be hard but stay you would like to stick to the initial plan. If you make an exception for her, you would have to do so for all of the guests only attending the reception.

Maybe as a compromise offer to video tape it so she can see it later? Or maybe live stream? Certainly depends on your budget and how much you're willing to compromise. (I'm going off of the vibe you gave. Personally my FH and I picked our wedding local so our grandparents could attend easily).

But I learned from a friends wedding that if you're not sure if you want someone there, they probably shouldn't be.

Hope that helps!

No advice here. My grandma passed away two months ago. I would give literally anything for her to be at my wedding

Well I can honestly say I wish my grandparents were apart of my ceremony. They would have hiked the highest mountain to see me happy. I could never tell them NO.

So I guess I'm not really alot of help.

Good luck to you!

"OP said it's a bit of a hike to her location, and her grandma uses a walker, or would use a motorized scooter, though even that isn't exactly safe on a hiking trail."

Right, so the OP chose her venue over her grandmother's presence. That's what some of us are objecting to.

Courtney, your advice isn't really accurate. If she allows her grandmother to come to the ceremony, why on earth would she have to make an exception for all the other guests? That makes no sense. Also, ceremony guests have nothing to do with budget unless you're picking a venue for the ceremony. It's the reception that's the expensive part and Grandma is already invited to that.

Honestly, I get it OP. Both of my grandmothers are extremely horrible people. FH and I chose to get married in another state in hopes that they wouldn't come. I would much rather have my friends be with me on my wedding day than my grandmothers. I think it's unfair of people to tell you that that is messed up because they miss their grandmothers.

It was unfair of her to ask you that at a funeral and if she's anything like my grandmothers then I would assume she knew exactly what she was doing. Maybe she will decide that she can't make it to the location. I'm sorry you are in a tight spot.

KM, this situation appears to be nothing like yours. Her grandmother is invited to the reception, just not the ceremony. If her grandmother was as awful as you make her out to be, why would she be invited at all?