Giving guests a plus one?

We didn't have many single friends but we did not give them plus ones. We didn't want to pay for anyone's flavor of the month. All the single people knew people at the wedding so we didn't feel bad. Our "rules" for plus ones were couples in a relationship, engaged or living together.

Anybody who is in a relationship will get a "plus one". But at $130 a person, our truly single guests will not be getting a plus one. They will all know other people coming so it's not like they'll have no one to talk to.

There is a difference between "plus ones" and "SOs". I am choosing not to include plus ones (unless they're in my bridal party-- however, most of them are in relationships and their SOs are invited). My reason is not due to budget, but to venue size. Our maximum is 170, and with my massive family, and FH's massive family, we already had to cut, cut, cut. A lot of family members didn't even make the list. So why should someone I actually know and want at my wedding be cut, but some guy you're casually banging, whom I have never met, gets to come? Nope, nope, nope.

We planned our guest list so every guest would know at least one other person there. That way no one will feel awkward.

Unfortunately, there is no rule to "which SO gets to come." It's very rude to not invite your guest's bf/gf, even if they only just started dating. "Come celebrate our love, but screw your own relationship!" So everyone who is in an "official" relationship is invited. Two days, two weeks, two years, it doesn't matter. They gotta be included.

I'm inviting plus ones and hope two of my friends DONT bring their teenage daughters, as they'll know tons of people. That's my only issue... So I'm debating no plus ones for them but for everyone else. Ugh

I don't have many single friends but everyone invited will get a plus one. I think it's just the polite thing to do especially since some guests might not know a lot of people at the wedding anyway. And of course no matter what a couple decides to do the bridal party gets a plus one no matter what.

We did not offer plus ones because of funds as well. We invited 48 people and heard grief from 5 of our "friends" (" " because they are friends with my FH because they've known each other for years but they're a-holes. They refuse to accept the idea that we are getting married because we want to, not because we feel like we have to; they don't even ask us anything personal.... it's only jokes with them.... insulting each other and giving low blows when someone doesn't follow the "ring leader" of the pack)... So once my FH's sister and her bf and 2 kids declined to come we told them they could bring their gf's. WHICH WE DON'T EVEN KNOW! OH, and BTW, one of them...the one that gave us so much grief, when we told him he could bring his gf he said "well, I was going to anyway." GET THIS, THEY'RE NOT EVEN TOGETHER ANYMORE! WTF?! Sorry, I turned your discussion into a rant. lol I've been bothered by this for a LONG time.

That sucks. :/ I guess I understand the "flavor of the weak" in theory but weddings can make lonely single people feel even lonelier. Denying plus ones just isn't for me, but we're also not stretched out on budget or venue size, and I understand that reasoning.

@Krystyna, Yes.... I'm super annoyed and my FH even said he would disinvite them because they have been terrible friends and unsupportive of our relationship but one of them unfortunately already RSVP'd.

>:-(

I think everyone who's single on our list got a plus-one, but we really doubt that some of them will bring someone. I just wanted them to have the option.

I gave every adult a plus one. There are only 10 or 11 that aren't in a relationship, and I'd like them to be able to bring a guest, as most adults would prefer to do so.

We're gonna be paying per person on a tight budget so this has been a bone of contention already (FILs are trying to say we have to invite FSBIL's GF but not my sister fiancee, dad's fiancee or mum's fiance - frankly, at this rate, FH is probably just going to cut FSBIL from the list and be done with it. He won't be missed, neither of us get along with him.)

We have very few single guests/LDR engaged couples so we're giving them the option - most have already said they'll be coming alone since they know 80% of the guest list but I'm working out prices/budget based on them all bringing someone.

We started by being "choosy" over which of our single friends got a plus one, such as those that won't really know anybody else. But then we felt like we were being rude dicks, so everyone has a plus one and we're just h oping some people will just bring themselves, lol

We are doing plus ones for guests who have been together forever, are engaged, or married. We don't have a specific cut off (honestly they're all FHs friends and I don't think he knows how long anyone's been dating - a few years or so.) the few single friends we have will not be getting plus ones. I am not paying for random people that I've never met and will probably never see again.

Because ours is rather intimate we allowed only significant others of unmarried guests if they were engaged or living together. So the only two people who are in a relationship with someone whose significant other is NOT invited are my two FSILs who still live with their parents. Their parents have a restraining order on one of the boyfriends and are contemplating a restraining order on the other boyfriend (both for very valid reasons). Their presence would've made us uncomfortable, their parents very uncomfortable, and both of the guys would've purposely started drama and ruined the wedding just for the enjoyment of it, because that's the kind of jerks that they are. So even if I didn't say "We are only inviting SOs who are engaged or living together" I still would've felt justified in not inviting them.

We had to pay for 100 meals per our contract-- we thought we'd close when we estimated, but had nowhere near that number in the end, so we gave *everyone* a plus one. If it means an extra $150 out of your pocket, I can totally understand saying, "I don't even know these people!" but that wasn't the case for us.

I'm giving almost everyone plus ones. The people not getting plus ones are a couple of my parents' friends who are those lifetime single people and would just come together anyway and my younger cousins who still live at home so they will be coming with their parents anyway.

All significant others are invited (no matter how serious the relationship, I'm not into policing/determining/judging the seriousness of grown people's relationships) but our single guests do not get plus ones.

The only person we gave a plus one, was a friend of mine who will basically not know anyone at the wedding and she lives in another town.

Everyone else either has an SO or is single and know most people there, so we didn't see a need to give them a plus one for the hell of it.

My only concern is I'm going to have to police my uncle if I give him a plus one - he's a 72 year old man who is dating a 20 year old woman heroin addict who strips for a living, and she is NOT coming. Just her presence would cause problems in my family.

We give every unmarried person a plus but because 75% of the GL are out of state from the wedding city it would be a significant expense to bring someone (its already expensive for 1). We chartered a bus for my family and Im overly inviting 3 friends so its not an issue for my part of the GL.