Rosie
Rockstar February 2022

Give me your Postponement Tips!

Rosie, on July 29, 2021 at 10:56 PM Posted in Planning 0 17
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So, due to ongoing lockdown restrictions - we've had to postone our September wedding. We have contacted all of our vendors and supplied them with a spreadsheet to fill out their Thursday through Saturday availability over the next 6 months in the hope of finding a mutually convenient date, but my hair dresser has already come back to us saying she's not available on a single one of those days.

I know I need to expect this for some of our vendors, and our plan was to go from most to least expensive vendor when deciding on a new option, but we booked everything over 18 months in advance so to have to go through all of this again is heart breaking.

What other things should I expect? What advice would you provide us as we navigate this? Wine? Visualization? Manifestation a la The Secret? Hard spirits? Tarot? LOL, maybe not that last one - but please, hit me up with your very best suggestions for coping through this process!

17 Comments

Latest activity by Rosie, on August 3, 2021 at 6:49 PM
  • Lisa
    Super October 2021
    Lisa ·
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    Oh no!! So sorry to hear. We postponed from October 2020 to October 2021. My experience was pretty seamless. All of our vendors transferred easily. One thing I would brace for are possible transfer fees and rate increases. I would contact your guest list (if you already sent out save the dates or invitations immediately) to let them know it’s postponed and they will be notified of a new date. I highly suggest wine! And finding something to occupy your time rather than stewing over the what if’s. I’d you weren’t set on color schemes or themes this could be a time to revamp or get a redo to get what you want. Oh and also maybe save some extra cash for things you were passing on!
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  • Rosie
    Rockstar February 2022
    Rosie ·
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    Thank you! I definitely plan on the wine element - as soon as we made the decision to postpone friends were saying 'it's wine time!' but I figured there would be harder days when we learn some of our favourite vendors or services we had our heart set on aren't available when we'd need it more, so I've been holding back, haha!

    I'm so happy things worked out for you, and not long at all until your new date, which must be so exciting! I wish we didn't mind so much about waiting ourselves, but we're in our mid-30s and have already waited 18 months, so we don't really want to wait any more. I'd have married him yesterday, if I could!

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  • Lisa
    Super October 2021
    Lisa ·
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    Aw I totally get it! We are super anxious to get married and had a longer engagement even without Covid and always say we’d marry yesterday but really wanted a wedding! Everything will work out and try not to stress!
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  • A
    Expert June 2021
    Allie ·
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry to hear that!! I'll throw out some tips/experiences that are less on the practical/logistical side and more on the emotional side. For me, postponing once and then postponing/changing plans the second time made me very sensitive to certain triggers, I guess. I've had people say "oh, you postponed again?? Why on earth would you do that? If I were you, I would have just proceeded." Smiley angry And oh. my. goodness. it's tough to hear because it's simultaneously dismissive and just plain ignorant since they in fact do *not* know what they would have done in my situation because they're *not* in my situation. Another thing to watch out for is people responding the best way they know how, even if it may kinda miss the mark in terms of what you'd actually like to hear (or what would actually be helpful to hear). We got a lot of "oh, ok, well at least you're already legally married!" and that's all true, sure, but it doesn't come across as very sympathetic. Overall, I would just recommend either individual counseling, couples counseling, and/or even some dedicated "let's talk about feelings" conversations between you and your FS. I guess just taking a proactive approach to the emotional impact (because it is a process to grieve the loss of what would have been) is a very good idea, in my opinion. If you're anything like me, I've been waiting my whole life for this and dreaming of it since I was little, so I kinda underestimated the emotional toll that postponing/cancelling took on me. I'm really sorry to hear about y'alls' postponement, and I hope you have a beautiful wedding on your new date (once you find it). And I wish you a much more smooth road going forward Smiley smile

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  • I
    Expert August 2021
    Ingrid Online ·
    • Flag
    We postponed but we didn't have much planned other than having our vendors selected. When we postponed all of the vendors were very understanding and didn't charge change fees. I would take a break from planning and allow yourself some downtime. Right now your emotions are high and it probably hurts to think about your wedding. This will pass and you will become excited again. We had to get a new month which isn't what I wanted but after a while it didn't matter as much bc I was still getting married!


    Take a break and don't beat yourself up over this, it will happen and it will be amazing!
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  • Rebelle Fleur
    Rockstar July 2021
    Rebelle Fleur ·
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    We had to postpone for 6 months after a pretty long engagement. I was pretty disappointed. But I honestly all worked out for the best. It gave me more time to work on things, to make payments and prepare. You already reach out to your vendors so that’s step one. I was lucky enough to keep all my vendors except my officiant. My uncle who is a pastor in Jamaica was supposed to marry us but due to the date change it became impossible. But we ended up finding someone else who I loved and stayed to party with us which was really cool.


    Everything will work out as it should. Just take a step back and look at all the positive things that an come from this.
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  • Bird
    Dedicated June 2021
    Bird ·
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    So sorry to hear. If you postpone again I would try to plan for a wedding that would be allowed to occur no matter the state of affairs or current restrictions. (Backyard wedding?)
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  • Rosie
    Rockstar February 2022
    Rosie ·
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    Thank you so much for this... and I'm so sorry you also had to postpone. I know exactly what you mean about unhelpful comments and certain things being a little triggering! And just like other types of grief, I'm finding it comes in waves. You'll be fine and feeling good and planning organising your new timeline and speaking with vendors and feel really positive, and then... you realise you actually aren't going to be getting married for another whole six months and you feel really, really low. I know I just need to feel how I feel, accept it, and keep doing the practical stuff. And hopefully, that extra six months will be enough for the covid situation in our country to be a lot better. Plus, I always liked even numbers, maybe 22 will be a good year for us!

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  • Rosie
    Rockstar February 2022
    Rosie ·
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    Thank you... it's very unfortunate - right now, weddings of any kind are currently outlawed for the first time, which no one could have predicted... Meaning, the two of us can't even grab a celebrant and two witnesses and do the deed, never mind a backyard wedding or a small, 10 person event. We of course don't want to have an event that would put our families and friends at risk anyway, but right now we wouldn't be allowed to even do an elopement.

    But hopefully those restrictions ease by the time we've chosen a new date.

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  • Rosie
    Rockstar February 2022
    Rosie ·
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    Thanks... we were only 6 weeks out so all planned. Hopefully that will mean it's easier to lift and shift the whole thing, so not too much to do other than re-jig some of our timeline due to different sunset times etc.

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  • Rosie
    Rockstar February 2022
    Rosie ·
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    I'm so glad you were able to keep most, but what a shame about your uncle. I'm sorry. We definitely are trying to look at the positives, but it is frustrating - we booked 18 months in advance hoping to avoid this thing, and if we'd been married any time this year between January and June, we'd have been fine. But, it is what it is!

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  • Kris
    Expert July 2021
    Kris ·
    • Flag

    We had to postpone four times -- we were finally able to have our dream wedding this past Saturday. We did the same as you and emailed all of our vendors a 4 month list of weekends and had them tell us which ones wouldn't work for them. Fortunately, we were able to keep the same vendors.

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  • Rosie
    Rockstar February 2022
    Rosie ·
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    Four times! You poor thing. I'm so glad you were finally able to have your day. I did want to ask how you coped with disappointment if you weren't able to get some of your vendors but how wonderful that you could! - one of the only things not available is my accommodation for night before and night of, which I'm really upset about, as we were going to have beautiful getting ready photos there. Of course there is more accommodation available, but not as nice as that was to have been, and it's hard to want to book somewhere else that isn't as nice as what I originally had planned!

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  • Bird
    Dedicated June 2021
    Bird ·
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    I’m so sorry to hear this. What country/state are you in? I guess I have been out of it to realize that there were still places not allowing marriage licenses to be processed Smiley sad
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  • Rosie
    Rockstar February 2022
    Rosie ·
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    We are in NSW in Australia, so it's not surprising you wouldn't know! It's something they've only just brought in this lockdown (we had one last year, and now this one) - last year, you could have marriages with just the necessary witnesses and the celebrant, but this year they've snuck in that NO weddings can take place at all.

    I am so grateful that we are able to postpone. Some weddings, the bride or groom is terminal, or a parent of the parties is - and they don't have the luxury of time to postpone. I feel heartbroken for people in such a situation and don't understand why they can't be allowed to go ahead. That is very different from hosting a huge event with 100 people, or even 20!

    But... it is what it is at the moment, however stupid I think the rules are!

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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari Online ·
    • Flag

    Have you ever used Doodle?

    Its a super easy way to find a date/meeting time that works for all. When we were rescheduling I would just sent all of my vendors a Doodle poll with all of the dates we were considering and they just selected the ones they were available. Your vendors can also update their responses, so they can go back to the poll and mark dates available/not available as their schedule changes.

    It was super helpful when we were moving dates.

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  • Rosie
    Rockstar February 2022
    Rosie ·
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    I have used doodle and I have absolutely no idea why I didn't think of that! But, we very, very thankfully/luckily have found a date which all but one vendor can do - and we didn't feel bad about picking that date as she couldn't do a single one of our six months worth of dates anyway.

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