Girlfriends Changing

Sometimes it's hard for friends to see you moving on faster than they are. Just continue to hangout with them, and let them know they are still as important to you & you want them by your side every step along the way.

And yes... I just lost a 10 year friendship because my life is changing & my friend can't handle the change.

Don't forget that they have feelings too and that they have some stuff going on outside of wedding stuff! Sometimes us brides forget to foster our relationships with friends, so sometimes its not just the friends. Make sure you are spending time talking about things other than the wedding!

Aw good to know I'm not the only one. Thanks for the advice ladies.

Also weddings bring up a lot of insecurities in women. Some times they get jealous. Your true friends will stick it out with you!

I definitely have noticed that with some of my friends. Or they try to control every decision that I make, it’s really frustrating. I think at the same time it’s good though because it’s shown me who my real friends are.

Yeah - one in particular, who happens to be 1 of 2 BM.

I find myself shaking my head a lot at the things she says.

I haven't noticed that at all, but I feel like maybe sometimes we overthink behaviors or comments and think that it's directed at us. I would just talk to them and be sure to make time for them.

I think it's pretty common. Just try not to talk about about the wedding too much around them. I remember losing a friend after me and FH first started dating. She just couldn't handle me dating someone and not spending every single moment with her. People get jealous and all you can do is try to be there for them and hope that they get over it.

Yes. I have four girlfriends and a twin sister.

One is married and has a baby. She is my childhood friend.

One is in a serious relationship and she is also a childhood friend.

Then, one is in a new relationship and one is single. I find those two changing the most and those two are the ones that I thought I was closet with. When I was single, those were the ones I would go out with often. So thinking now that I don't do that as much it is causing issues.

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Thanks and yes I never talk about the wedding with them. One just constantly asks my budget and refuses to accept if I tell her that isn't her business.

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Yes, I always make time. For instance, my FH and I are having our friends over this weekend. And none of mine can make it. Don't know what else to do we always make plans and ever since we have gotten engage hanging out with them has become an issue.

Yes! I have two gals that are expecting an invite to the wedding that won't be getting one. They were kind of college, "party friends" and they still invite me to things they know I can attend as someone's soon-to-be wife and have no interest in movie or girls nights outside of clubbing.

One of mine said my relationship with my FH would never last too but was all fake excited for me when I was engaged. Lol.

Yes! During my 2 year engagement, my one single BM was the most difficult. We had been college roommates and friends for over 11 years. The things she would say and/or do really took a toll on our friendship, but I tried to be compassionate because I think it was just jealousy that she didn't have the relationship she was so longing for with someone.

I think as our lives change, so do our needs and sometimes our oldest friends aren't able to keep up with the change. Also, they may feel that your friendship dynamic will change once you're married.

I suggest being a friend first and a bride second. Try to be compassionate to what feelings they could be having, or maybe they just have something else going on in their life. Maybe a check-in with them as a friend might help give you some insight to why they could be acting so distant.

I haven't experience this myself, but when my MOH got engaged and married, I hid it, but I was just WAITING for a ring from FH so I got a little jealous. It's a very real thing and some people just aren't able to shove it down and accept that their time is coming, even if it's not in the way they expect. Hopefully these girls can find a way to move on from what they're feeling and be genuinely happy for you!

Be sure that you’re not talking wedding stuff too much with them - sometimes when brides are too wedding obsessed, they start to see their friends distance themselves.

Honestly, I've been on both sides of that. I had friends getting engaged before me (while FH and I were together for much longer) that made me feel insecure, and if I'm being perfectly honest, jealous. I was genuinely happy for them, but I can't say it didn't affect me. I worked through that on my own and got over it. Then my turn came and I felt one of my friends acting distant and I just gave her some time and didn't bring up the wedding to her and she seems to be over it now. We're all human, after all.

Yup! My MOH has been this way. She told me that she was jealous and has been dropping the ball on “typical” MOH duties. She wanted to go home at 9pm on my Bachelorette party night and has been acting so annoying. I wish I didn’t pick her as my MOH now, but oh well.

Yes! I have two friends where I knew it was coming too. I only told them when we got engaged, and sent a save the date to them. I never bring up wedding planning or anything with them. And I stay on top of communicating with them. I wanted to ask one to stand up but she always complained about standing up in weddings and would say her friendships with the brides changed b/c they got married and never had time for her after getting married. So I didn't ask said friend. Since I sent the STD she's been MIA and won't respond to texts or calls. Me thinks she's the one that cuts out the bride and not vice versa. Sad. Sorry that's happening to you - I can sympathize!

Yes, I lost one of my high school best friends because I got engaged before her and she couldn't handle it. I called her, she cried on the phone with me and seemed genuinely excited, then the next day blocked me on everything.

Hang in there, weddings bring out the crazy in people!