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Dedicated April 2018

Gifts for mil & fil

Megan, on February 4, 2018 at 4:25 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 18

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My FH and I are in disagreement over getting his parents gifts for the wedding. I think we should get them something (even something small), but he doesn’t think they’re expecting anything. I was planning on getting my mom some earrings (which I can give to her early), and I was thinking of getting his mother some earrings as well. But I have NO CLUE on what to get his father, and FH is of the opinion to not get gifts for either of them.
Do you think we should give them gifts, and if so, any suggestions on what to get my future FIL?

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18 Comments

Latest activity by Daria, on February 5, 2018 at 11:47 AM

Expert June 2018
LeeAnne · on February 4, 2018 at 4:28 PM
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Are they paying for anytjing?
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Master May 2017
JerseyGirl · on February 4, 2018 at 4:34 PM
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I think this can vary especially if they aren’t paying for anything. Neither of our parents paid for anything. Our relationships with our parents are completely different. I got my parents something small and sentimental, he didn’t get his parents anything. He didn’t get my parents anything. I didn’t get his parents anything.
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Expert May 2018
Mrs. Jones · on February 4, 2018 at 4:34 PM
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I was also wondering about this. My FILs are only paying for the rehearsal dinner so I was planning on getting them something small as a thank you, but my FH says its not necessary
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Savvy October 2018
Tina · on February 4, 2018 at 4:37 PM
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No. I've never heard of getting presents for MIL or FIL.
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Master May 2018
Forestwed · on February 4, 2018 at 4:45 PM
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I bought a gift for my FMIL. She’s isn’t contributing anything to the wedding but I felt getting her a gift was a nice gesture.
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Super October 2018
Stacey · on February 4, 2018 at 4:55 PM
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I am planning on making them parent's albums with Mpix after the wedding. I am going to get my mother something extra because she is helping out financially, but I'm not sure what yet. Maybe some jewelry or a gift card to a nice hotel or resort.
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Master July 2018
RZ_ToBe · on February 4, 2018 at 5:46 PM
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I would suggest doing a gift, but after the wedding. Get them a small photo album and put some of your wedding photos in it and make that your gift to both parents (I don't know them, but it could avoid them getting mad that the other got a "better" present if you got them the same thing). It'll be easier on you too, because it's just one gift rather than two separate ones that are personalized.
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VIP October 2018
Malwen107 · on February 4, 2018 at 7:44 PM
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We will most likely do photo books for both of our families, with wedding pictures, or a canvas, because his mom has a ton of canvases of family photos in their house.
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Savvy May 2018
Akelah · on February 4, 2018 at 7:54 PM
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I plan on getting my parents something because they helped us pay. I'm not buying his parents anything, although I am paying for FMIL to get her makeup done.
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Champion June 2018
muriel · on February 4, 2018 at 7:55 PM
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The parent gifts aren't to thank them for paying for anything. It is to thank them for their support of the relationship and for raising you to be the people you are today. Although there are always the outliers when it comes to relationships, I think it would be hurtful to gift one parent and not the others. Where I live the gifts are most often given by the couple, not individually.
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Expert July 2017
SaraBear · on February 4, 2018 at 7:55 PM
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Both our parents chipped into the wedding, mine a considerable amount more. We got my parents a nice card and a picture frame collage thing with pictures of me and then as a kid and empty slots for wedding photos. H doesn’t have the same relationship with his parents so we didn’t get them anything.
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Dedicated November 2018
Kelly · on February 4, 2018 at 8:08 PM
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My FH and I are paying for everything, but I’m still going to get my parents and his parents a nice frame so they can put a picture from the wedding in it. It’s not expensive, but still a nice gesture.
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Devoted November 2023
Crystal · on February 4, 2018 at 11:54 PM
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We paid for everything ourselves the last time I got married. We did pay for the parents photo albums though.
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Master July 2010
Kathy · on February 5, 2018 at 12:18 AM
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We paid for our daughters wedding and honeymoon. The couple did not have to pay a dime for their wedding. That being said, we (as parents) did not expect (nor need) a gift.
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Super May 2017
caitlin · on February 5, 2018 at 10:40 AM
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My MIL and FIL did contribute financially by hosting our rehearsal and morning after brunch as well as helping out with a few other costs, so as thanks for that and also for all the support they have offered us we got them and their partners each a nice bottle of wine, and hand written thank you note, and a couple of wedding photos printed and framed after the fact.
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Devoted March 2018
ET · on February 5, 2018 at 10:41 AM
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I chose gifts for my parents and FH will choose gifts for his. Our parents both contributed a small amount (we are paying for 90% of the wedding ourselves), but we would have gotten them gifts even if they hadn't offered to pay for anything. To me it's more of a "thanks for making sure I turned out okay" kind of gift.
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Dedicated April 2018
Dillydilly · on February 5, 2018 at 11:22 AM
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I would not expect a present from my kids on their wedding days, even if I was helping with paying. Just a "Thanks Mom for being a rock star mom and not dancing the Robot at our reception" is good enough for me.
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VIP January 2019
Daria · on February 5, 2018 at 11:47 AM
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Can you get a nice bottle of scotch or whiskey and some drinking glasses?
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