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Savvy September 2021

Gifts for family members

Katie, on May 30, 2021 at 9:50 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 5

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Hello all!!
I hope everyone is having a successful wedding planning time!!

I won’t go into details but we’re just another postponed couple and our wedding is quickly approaching. Last June my mil passed away VERY suddenly. We all lived and still live together , fil sil and future husband so we’re all very close and the loss has been a hard one.
My future sil is one of my bridesmaids. My future husband doesn’t want to have any photos or memorial table or anything as he says the day is about us.
As a gift I wanted to get each of them something small with her photo on it. Fsil a bracelet, a tie and tie patch for my future husband, and a tie clip for his dad.
My question is- do these count as gifts or do these end up being “props” for the wedding?
I plan on getting them all other things too...my fsil is also a bridesmaid and his dad does a lot for us. But, I thought of this as a sentimental gift. But now I’m worried about them...probably overthinking it but I’m just at a loss because she wasn’t my mom but I was very very close with her but I also don’t want to over step. Thank you for the advice

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Latest activity by Katie, on May 30, 2021 at 5:01 PM

Dedicated April 2022
Piper · on May 30, 2021 at 11:59 AM
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I can't see these as gifts since a gift is based on what the person likes, their interest... and because anything with a photo of someone who have passed away is more a tribute to the deceased loved one than a real gift.
The fact she wasn't your mom is not important at all, the fact you were close to her IS.
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Devoted October 2021
Kk · on May 30, 2021 at 12:49 PM
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I don't think these would be considered props since you're getting them as a thoughtful gesture and not to make your pictures look nice. However, I would really think about this before pulling the trigger. Your FH has already said that he does not want a memorial table or anything on your wedding day. Do you think he would be okay with a gift with his mom's picture on it? The day is already going to be really emotional for all of you. I think your heart is in the right place, but I would also just keep in mind that they may not have the reaction you think they will.
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Savvy September 2021
Katie · on May 30, 2021 at 2:36 PM
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Thank you so much you 2 I didn’t think About some of this stuff! I will probably reconsider these items honestly...thank you guys! I feel like my fil would love it but my fh and sil probably feel a different way...it’s going to be a hard enough weekend as it is. Would it be okay to still put her on my bouquet?...I wanted to put my grandmothers photo on my bouquet along with my great grandmother (I was very close with her too) but now I’m wondering if that would be too much too....
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VIP August 2020
· on May 30, 2021 at 3:03 PM
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If you think having any reminder of his mom would be too painful for your fh to see at the wedding, having her photo (or photos of other late relatives) in your bouquet, which will be heavily photographed, might not be the best idea. If you want to include her in a more subtle way, you could try to find out what her favorite flowers and/or colors were and incorporate those into your bouquet or other décor. I've also heard of brides having things like their relatives' names and wedding dates embroidered on the inside of their wedding dress so it feels close to you but no one else can see it. Another way to include photos that aren't visible to everyone would be to put them in a locket.
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Savvy September 2021
Katie · on May 30, 2021 at 5:01 PM
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That’s all really good ideas. Thank you guys so much! I don’t really have anyone to talk to right now. So I really appreciate all the advice! It’s so nice to get an outside perspective.
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