Gift Etiquette

A note wouldn't bother me at all. I'm not easily offended and would find the information helpful.
I like the first note, without the addition. ☺

That’s not rude at all.

I would just be confused as usually at a bridal shower you just buy a gift for the couple’s future home off the registry. I’ve been to over 20 showers and have never seen jewelry or scented items given. But you know your crowd best.

View Quoted Comment

Thanks! I've never been to a bridal shower. My FH hasn't even been to a wedding before. Soooooo....this is all new.

Totally fine! It’s a not like you are telling them what exactly to buy or how much to spend. I got quite a few candles at mine so putting that in ensures that you won’t get things you are allergic to. Health over etiquette!

View Quoted Comment I was given a candle at mine and I had 6 guest.

I wouldn’t be offended at all but I do like the “if you choose to bring a gift avoid...”. I’m sure your crowd knows about your sensitivity but you could also add about the sensitivity to the note as well. This would help explain why people are being asked to avoid it in case they’ve forgotten.

I would word it instead "Please note that the bride is allergic to nickel and sensitive to [skin products and] fragrances," perhaps underneath your registry information.

First of all it is nickel. If they read: please do not bring... for no reason, lots of people do not respond well. Well, isn't she fussy. . . A lot of people do not know that allergies to Nickel and Chromium are the reason many cannot wear stainless steel of certain mixes, or anything that is plated with them for maximum shine. I think the message is fine, save people wasting time and money on things impossible to use. But it might go over better to say, bride is allergic to many things used in scents ( perfumes, soaps etc.) And to some metals used in plating jewelry. So please avoid these items. Real allergies are an acceptable warning.

View Quoted Comment I certainly have.

This is completely fine— it’s a gift giving event and people want to bring you gifts you’ll actually enjoy and use, not end up in the trash. The guidance will be appreciated. These are sensitivities you have, I really don’t see it as any different than me mentioning my sever nut allergy to the hosts when planning a dinner party— category: Facts Worth Mentioning

As it is an allergy I think it is fine. I'm sure someone would like the warning so they don't give you a reaction!

View Quoted Comment

I agree with this. I think it'd be okay, but honestly I don't feel like candles and jewelry are typical bridal shower gifts. Usually guests buy gifts off your registry.

Not at all! After all the gift you bring to a shower is supposed to be about the person it’s honoring not the gift giver.

I think this is fine. When I opened it I totally expected to see a cutesy poem about how the couple prefers cash gifts which I am not a fan of but I would not bat an eye at this.

View Quoted Comment

I like your rewording here. I think the idea is fine, but the original wording just needs a small amount of editing.

I would not be offended by this at all. I would probably mention, "Kindly note the bride is allergic to most scented items an items containing nickel."

View Quoted Comment LOL Living in an area with frequent power failures, I don't know any bride who has not received candle holders and candelabra, with dozens of taper and pillar candles, and scented oil to burn for hurricane lamps and floating candles! Definitely a regional thing. Like getting a romantic gift of a cord of firewood for your fireplace: here, that is a great $80- 100 gift, or people can cut and deliver their own , free. A great shower gift. In a place where most homes do not have fireplaces, no. 🙂. My Sister in law from Brooklyn, started up at one of my showers, what kind of crappy gift is that, a cord of wood, delivered and stacked, a bottle of Brandy, and 2 Brandy snifters. And, what crazy person gave you 6 dozen dripless candle, who has company that often? And all the N NH and N Vermont people laughed and laughed at Ms. New York City.

I don't think that's offensive at all. I'd maybe say "Please avoid gifting" instead of "bringing". I'd like to know if the bride can't use certain things!

Honestly I think that note is great! I would love if someone told me what not to bring! That way I know I would more likely be buying something that you would actually use! I think guests will be very happy with that note so they know rather than use their money on something you cant use.