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VIP April 2017

Ghosting Groomsman

Meaghan, on September 9, 2016 at 5:42 PM Posted in Planning 0 8

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Lots of ladies on here talk about bridesmaid drama. Thankfully I have a fairly laid back group of girls. I asked them nearly a year to the day of our wedding to be in the party (early by WW standards but it's all good). They all said yes and we're just patiently waiting. My FH, on the other hand, has his hardcore group of guys he's been childhood friends with (3total) and 2 Navy buddies. Being in the Navy, of course, people move around so we didn't have addresses for them. One groomsman has dropped off our radar. He doesn't return calls or texts to a) catch up with him or b) ask his address so we can send STDs or invites when it comes time. My FH is really thinking of - well, not kicking him out...but...letting him go? There are no hard feelings. He just literally doesn't respond to any of our overtures. Thoughts? I read a ton of posts on here about how terrible it is to do this, but if someone says yes and needs to change their mind, it's better to communicate than to ghost. Right?

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8 Comments

Latest activity by NowASeptMrs, on September 9, 2016 at 6:12 PM

Master July 2017
Going to the chapel · on September 9, 2016 at 5:46 PM
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Is the missing GM in the Navy? If so, has he been deployed and communication is hard, if possible at all?
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VIP April 2017
Meaghan · on September 9, 2016 at 5:56 PM
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No. I'm sorry- I should have been more specific. My FH met him in the Navy while they both served. This groomsman left the Navy earlier this year and last we heard, moved to Louisiana ( I think he was in CA before this). So he is no longer active duty or deployed. There could be a very difficult adjustment into civilian life, and that's entirely understandable. We would just like to have *some* communication. 3 groomsmen are in Philly, 1 in Virginia, and this 1 ( presuming LA)....so there will have to be some coordination about tuxes at some point by New Years or something...
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Master May 2017
BeachDreams · on September 9, 2016 at 6:02 PM
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Are you sure that he is okay?
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Expert September 2017
WeddingBelle · on September 9, 2016 at 6:04 PM
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Was he in a flood area in Louisiana? I would be more concerned with his well being than the wedding at this point.
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Super May 2017
Pszab · on September 9, 2016 at 6:06 PM
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I would first make sure he's okay
Maybe changed numbers or something in not sure
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VIP April 2017
Meaghan · on September 9, 2016 at 6:06 PM
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Of course we are concerned. It could be "something", it could be "nothing". I'm asking on here with respect to the wedding, but in general: What does one do when you want to reach out to someone and they don't respond? Seeing as how we aren't anywhere near each other- we aren't sure what to do. Even during this age of social media. Ideas?
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VIP April 2017
Meaghan · on September 9, 2016 at 6:10 PM
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Our best bet would I guess be mutual friends that FH served with who also served with GM. We don't know his family. I think LA is where he's "from", hoping for his sake family still lives there too. Sometimes veterans are glad to be free from the Navy. Other times it's a rude awakening because civilian jobs and a change of scenery from CA to LA can be a shock to the system
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Master September 2015
NowASeptMrs · on September 9, 2016 at 6:12 PM
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Mutual friends? Can you go to his Facebook and search his last name and look for friends with the same name or family members he linked to his account?
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