Getting Rsvps for guests comfortable with attending asap

I would just bring it up in conversion. I've asked some of my guests coming from out of state/country if they think they can come to our June wedding, and some of them outright said likely not. I'm still sending them a courtesy invitation since they were on my original list, and while it's possible they could change their minds from what they told me, I'm sending an invitation to someone from my B list in their place. We only want 60 guests (sending 75 invites and at least 15 have told us they will decline) but our venue allows 100, so worse case scenario is we end up with more than 60 guests if they change their mind. I don't think you should send out your actual invitations so soon though.

View Quoted Comment I am doing this for mine, just texting close friends and family and asking

Never do a B list. People do find out even when you think they won't.

I think it is way too early to expect guests to rsvp or give an idea if they will be able to attend. July is four months away. Like Michelle said, b listing people is generally rude to do and can be very hurtful.

You send out invites at the standard 6 weeks with replies due 3 weeks before the wedding as is standard. If you have declines, you have a smaller guest count.

I got married at Lake Tahoe in December and it was awesome! I wish you the best, at least restrictions are starting to ease!

We postponed twice. Last April 11, October 2nd, and this one April 11again.
Our venue is only 50 but half our families have been vaccinated. The shower isn’t until July bc of the COVID and hopefully everyone will be safer. Travel bans are lifting and some states are going back to normal at the end of
This month!!! Praying we all make it ok!!!!!! Take car end good luck to you!!! Stay positive

Most people will not commit themselves until June 20. The good news is that many will have had the vaccine. But they will not necessarily know whether or not they get necessary time off from work or other things that affect attendance, until 4 weeks before. And if you push for an answer before many people have actual info to make decisions, some will just say yes, figuring they can change their minds, and not feel bad about it, because you expected an answer before they could reasonably give one. You can talk with people at the 3rd week in May right after you send invitations, asking if they have any questions. And without asking, some will tell you, we cannot possibly make it. That will give you a better idea. Bit definite answers from others will not come til after the middle of June, and it is unfair/ rude to hurry them so you can reissue the seat.

Let's just get this straight, there is nothing wrong with having a b list in these uncertain times when rules and regulations are constantly changing. Brides do not know what their wedding will really be until the week of. Moving on I'd order about 10 extra invites and send them out maybe around 8 weeks and give them a deadline for when they need to rsvp by and then check up on the ones who haven't rsvp. As soon as you know who is declining send out more invites.

Also to add when we ordered our invites we looked up just about everywhere on when invites should be sent out and even talked to a couple of companies that make weddings invitation so we can put a good rsvp by date and 90% of the places we looked said anywhere between 3 and 4 months before the wedding and we got some that said 8 to 12 weeks.

Even in COVID times, a B list is very rude. It's also a little rude to require your "A list" people to answer really soon for a July event just so you coudl possibly invite more people. The country could look totally different in 3 months vs the next few weeks.

Just invite your 125 and send invitations 6-8 weeks in advance like normal.

View Quoted Comment I think there is a difference between a formal B list, and between casual conversations with friends and family about their thoughts. My cousin had a destination, and the second he sent save the dates, he had people telling him that they couldn't go because they don't fly, can't take time off, etc. And that was nearly a year out. That allowed my cousin to add a couple extras in after. But I said maybe, I wasn't sure, and he accepted that.


Now sending two tiers of invites and forcing people to rsvp so you can move onto the B list is rude, even in Covid times. I think its okay if you get some No's to let your mom bring a friend or your best friend bring a travel buddy though, in those situations nobody is offended about being on a "B list" because there truly wasn't one.

I understand COVID has made many things different, but I just don't think there's any easy or good way to go about this. You want your A list there but you can't really expect them to know yet if they will feel comfortable by July. If I were invited to a July wedding right now, I would have to say, "I would love to come and will be there if I can get vaccinated in sufficient time. But I'm not eligible yet and I have no control over when I get the vaccine."

For situations like that, would you tell your A-listers they are uninvited since they can't commit now, and move on to your B list? That's why I think this just won't work without massive headaches, stress, and hurt feelings. I'm sorry, but I think you just need to invite your A list at the proper time and hope that everything works out.