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Devoted December 2021

Getting Ready Invites

Kristin, on March 12, 2021 at 6:25 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 14

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So I’m not sure what to do, I don’t have a bridal party so I don’t have a group of people to get ready with me (which I’m ok with). I’m planning on my mom being there with me but that was it. My FH wants his mom to get ready with us. I have only met my future MIL once and it wasn’t a good interaction (both of his parents hold onto things that he did when younger and can’t get over - as far as to make comments about how awful he is for the whole time I met them, to which I got angry and went off about how great he is to me). My mom wants the time with just me because she knows we will both be emotional and I’ll be stressed as all get out.

Should I suck it up and invite future MIL despite knowing it will only add to my stress and take away from my time with my mom? Or should I say sorry but I’m not ok with having her there?

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14 Comments

Latest activity by Willow, on March 14, 2021 at 1:29 PM

Savvy June 2021
Kaila · on March 12, 2021 at 7:11 PM
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Honestly, she sounds like an awful person! I think you answered your own question when you said that she'll only add to your stress and take time away time with your own mom. Just you and your mom is fine! If you're already going to be stressed, you don't want that on your plate just before you walk down the aisle. Make sure your day is ACTUALLY special for you! I'm sure your FH will understand if you explain this to him. Hope it all works out for you!
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June 2021
Dj Tanner · on March 12, 2021 at 7:16 PM
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If she makes you feel uncomfortable then she shouldn’t be there. Would he want your dad getting ready with him??
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Super June 2021
Melanie · on March 12, 2021 at 7:21 PM
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Never add more stress if you can avoid it! I would just talk to you FH about it. It sounds like he doesn't have the best relationship with them, so it shouldn't take much for him to understand why you don't want her to get ready with you on your special day.
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Devoted December 2021
Kristin · on March 12, 2021 at 7:23 PM
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He actually loves my parents so my dad will be hanging out with him lol.

I’m worried about etiquette. I do want his family to feel involved since he doesn’t have much family coming and they aren’t helping to pay and they feel bad about that.
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Lisa · on March 12, 2021 at 7:25 PM
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You have this one opportunity to create memories with your mom on the day of your wedding. What happens during this time is your decision, and only your decision. If you want to keep this time for you and your mom only, then that is what should happen and be respected. I hope your FH respects this. And if something was already said to his mom, he needs to be the to say he misspoke. He has zero say in how you spend this time and who you spend it with.
Please make sure your time with your mom is respected. You can never get that time back.
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June 2021
Dj Tanner · on March 12, 2021 at 7:27 PM
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Yeah I mean it’s entirely up to get. Getting ready is an extremely personal moment. Just keep that in mind and go with your gut. Good luck
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Master July 2021
Rebelle Fleur · on March 12, 2021 at 9:05 PM
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I wouldn’t. You don’t want the beginning of your day to be stressful or tense. I would just tell him you and your mom want this moment to yourselves. He’ll understand.
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Dedicated August 2021
Jennifer · on March 12, 2021 at 9:55 PM
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I agree with all the above! You don’t want to be stressed out getting ready, and having that time with your mom will be really special. Maybe you can incorporate your FMIL in the wedding planning in other ways, but I would not feel guilty for excluding her from this.
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on March 12, 2021 at 11:26 PM
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Do not invite mother in law if you are not close to her. She can get ready at her house. You don't need to explain but this not something fiance needs to suggest so let him know your decision is final.
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on March 13, 2021 at 12:33 AM
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There is no etiquette that stipulates FMIL must get ready with the bride. If anything, it's more common for her to be with her own child day of. I have a fantastic relationship with my MIL, and she was at the salon with the bridal party for hair and make up, but she decided to get dressed and finish getting ready by herself at the hotel. If you don't want her there, don't have her there.
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Devoted June 2021
Liz · on March 13, 2021 at 8:55 AM
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If you want that time with your mom alone and your not comfortable with your future mil being there than that’s that. It’s your day, your time..
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Super June 2021
Elizabeth · on March 13, 2021 at 9:40 AM
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Don't invite FMIL. It's your time with your mom. No need for her to be there
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Super November 2020
Natalie · on March 13, 2021 at 2:46 PM
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I wouldn’t invite her to get ready with you, as that is typically reserved for those people closest to you and with whom you are most comfortable. It is not the time nor place to build or establish a relationship with someone who has been less than supportive in the past!
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VIP September 2020
Willow · on March 14, 2021 at 1:29 PM
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Don't invite MiL. It's mom and daughter time
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