Getting ready for the wedding..

In weddings past I've gotten ready with the other girls. We're all meeting at my hotel room to have lunch and get ready together. We're DIYing our HAMU so we'll be pooling all of our resources to get that done.

In my experience the point of the maids is to get ready with the bride, specifically help with her dress. I think its strange they'd assume you wouldn't need help with the dress. Or what the point is to get ready together without the bride.
I'm not sure about selfish, just really bizarre.

That seems weird. Why don’t they want to get ready with you? That’s part of the whole process on that day. I would talk to you MOH and tell her that’s what you want to do.

I agree, it seems weird and a bit selfish. The focus should be on you and assisting you with whatever you need. Do you have a Maid of Honor? If so, I would talk to her about the planning and how I wish to get ready for the wedding.Just my opinion 💕

I don’t think you are being selfish!!! It’s a nice bonding time, and they should be there to help you... I plan to have a no cellphone type of day and I’m going to put in charge each of my bridesmaid to a a vendor Incase they need to contact me, they will handle it...

Seems very weird! I am often part of discussions where the topic is that the only real "task" of bridesmaids is to get the dress and be with you/stand next to you on your wedding day. This is part of that! I would be very put off if my bridesmaids were planning to get ready without me. Maybe they thought that you didn't want them to come get ready with you? I would definitely talk to your MOH or one of your BMs about this and let them know you want to all get ready together!

Get ready with them! Are you having photos taken of the occasion? I'd pick the house that has the prettiest backdrop for getting ready. Or the house with the biggest bathroom or bedroom to get ready in. It sounds like a lack of communication to me. I'm sure you're welcome to head over and get ready with them. If you really want to do it at your house suggest that.

At my sils wedding the bridesmaids got dressed before coming over. We had a really cool vrbo. It was huge. They came over wearing dresses, and the bride was just in a cute comfy shirt and shorts. All the girls did hair and make up together and had photos taken. Then the bride got dressed last.

I think the my girls are getting dressed in their rooms(same hotel) then coming to help me get dressed

View Quoted Comment The house I booked is double the size of their house, plus there will be other non-wedding party ppl at their house getting ready as well. Also I shouldn’t be the one who has to travel.

View Quoted Comment Right, that’s my point the bonding time. I was planning on having breakfast and mimosas before we start getting ready. I want it to be a nice day together.

View Quoted Comment You should definitely talk to them.. good luck

View Quoted Comment I think they just don’t want to have to travel that day with all of the things they need, but I’m only staying about 15mins from them. They’re aware that that’s what I want to do, so we’ll see what happens. The MOH has said she’s good with whatever (2 of the maids are her daughters) the MatOH wants to come extremely late, and 2 of the bridesmaids just had no intentions of coming at all.

View Quoted Comment Yea okay. I'd pissed if I were you. This is literally the entire point of being in the wedding party. It's disrespectful to agree to be in the wedding party then not do what is required of you. I'd tell them too bad they all have to show up on time.

View Quoted Comment EXACTLY how I feel!! Like exactly.

I've always been under the impression that the bride and bridesmaids get ready together! My bridesmaids all got ready with me in my hotel room. Do they have a reason for wanting to get ready in their house? Maybe so they don't need to move all of their stuff to your room then back to theirs? That's kinda selfish of them but I can see it being annoying if the houses were a long walk or a drive from each other. Have they recommended you get ready in their house?

I would definitely be annoyed. Especially if you have the bigger space to get ready. I can’t imagine they have so much stuff that it won’t fit in a car for a short drive. When I’ve been a bridesmaid before, all I had was my dress and a tote bag with shoes and accessories. Not that hard to travel with.

This does sound weird to me. I would have a heart to heart with your girls. I would want some support and girls to share in these moments with you. I would feel sad if no one was there to be with me getting ready

I'm kinda in the same boat but not as bad. My FSIL is my only bridesmaid and then I have my MOH. My FSIL is doing anything and everything I want because its MY wedding. My MOH however says she's doing her own hair and going to MAC to get her makeup done because if you spend $50 you get your makeup done for free. I'm kinda annoyed because I wanted the 3 of us to get ready together but whatever. Its annoying because the girl coming to do our makeup is charging the same. And on top of that I told my MOH please don't get pregnant where it's possible to give birth at my wedding. Guess what? She's due 4 weeks after my wedding. She planned it and is complaining she doesnt have money to throw me a shower or anything because she has a baby on the way.... 🙄 I would tell them this is your ONE DAY this is only going to happen once and they agreed to be in it so they should do what you say. They had the option to say no when you asked them to be your bridesmaids.

View Quoted Comment I'd politely bring it up and let them know the plan... breakfast, mimosas and getting ready together at your house. They need to understand that you chose them and want to spend time with your inner circle on your wedding day. Tell them what they mean to you and what you expect the day of. I hope they realize you deserve it!

Perhaps they don't understand how strongly you feel about this. Here's an idea. If you haven't already you can put information and notes on the getting ready area that will hint at them getting ready with you. For instance, on my timeline for the bridesmaid I have them arriving to the bridal suite at 12 noon to get ready with me. It has their names and the address. If they see their names on the timeline perhaps they might just fall in line.