Getting over guilt about small

HI Cee,

You are not being "ridiculous" at all. But, it sounds like you have chosen a venue to accommodate your budget, and taken steps to ensure the comfort and enjoyment of your guests. It should be "worth it" for them just to see you and your FS hitched!

Is there any chance to book a van/bus service to pick up and drop off in central location? That would certainly give the guests a sense of camaraderie on their way to your wedding!

Or: organize carpools?

Are there plenty of hotels there? If so it is fine.

my question is the budget. A live band and feeding all of those people will put you over 15k

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Yes, hotels, b&bs, and airbnbs, which our friends prefer! We are also hosting an "after-party" of sorts for the younger crowd and will be in town the Friday before our Sunday wedding.

And it doesn't break our budget. We've priced out everything already.

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This is a great idea! I think organizing a shuttle for tri-state area guests would be wonderful, and we are planning to organize an all-weekend kind of celebration. Basically taking over the town for 2 days!

People will travel 2-3 hours to share your special day with you. They won't care about the drive. And they won't do it because of the free food and drinks. They will do it because they love you. Don't feel guilty at all. I'm glad you found a venue you like that's within budget!

There's absolutely nothing to feel guilty over! People have semi-destination weddings like that all the time. Ours was about 45 minutes from where we live and it was a couple hours for some people to get there. We had a huge turnout. Plus, a wedding is not a summons, so if it's really that much of a problem for one of your guests, they can just not attend. But you need to have your wedding wherever you think makes the most sense for you and your VIPs, and also for your wallets! It could be a nice weekend away for everyone, and you can do a hotel block and provide shuttles so people can enjoy themselves. It will be fine.

The venue we plan on picking is about 30 minutes from us. Anywhere from 45-1 hour for some guest. I was so conflicted at first about picking it for that reason but I love it. It's in our budget and they offer everything we were looking for. So we are going for it and I'll definitely understand if some people don't want to come. I say do what's right for you, those that can make it will and those that can't will still love you and wish your marriage the best!

2-3 hours is nothing! I’ve traveled much further for weddings and thought nothing of it. As long as there’s plenty of food and booze, people will be happy! I wouldn’t feel the trip would be more “worth it” if it was a different sort of venue.

I would do a shuttle to and from a local hotel that night, but not to get your guests from home to the wedding area. If I were a guest I wouldn’t use a shuttle like that, I’d want my own car/transportation method so that I have control over when I come and go. Not to mention a shuttle bus for that far a distance can be very expensive.

I second the PP asking about a live band. Have you found one already and confirmed the cost? When I was looking, a band would have cost us nearly half your entire budget.

My venue isn't close for anyone and people are still attending. I'm getting married in Temecula, and it's about 1.5-3 hours away for some people. It's at least 2 hours away from my apartment with my fiance. More with traffic. We don't have a connection to Temecula. I wanted to see venues there since I love wine and chose a venue with wine that I really loved the ballroom and the outdoor space for the ceremony.

I think you need to do what you like to do and people are willing to travel for a wedding. I haven't once second guessed my choice for the venue.

I wouldn’t feel guilty about this. It’s your day and if people want to attend your wedding they won’t mind getting a little vacation out of the deal. I’m having an out of state wedding and for most guests it’s about 4 hours away but for others they are gonna have to fly in or drive 14+ hours. I would say 90% of our guests are very excited for our wedding because we are making a weekend out of it, the day before the wedding guests can enjoy a welcome BBQ and then there will be a fire pit after, next day is the wedding but while guests are waiting they can enjoy the lake or pool or go shopping and then the day after they get to enjoy a brunch before going home

2-3 is not a bad travel for a wedding at all. I think every wedding I've ever been to has had at least an hour drive for the bulk of the guests.

For my wedding, most of our guests traveled about 2 hours. My immediate family and my MOH of traveled over 6 hrs for it, and I had two people fly in from the West coast. Nobody minded the drive.

I don't believe that's ridiculous at all. If they don't want to drive all that in one day, there is always the option of getting a hotel. You'd be surprised at how many people will come! We just went to a wedding that was 3 hours away just for a couple hours to return back home because we love the couple and wanted nothing more than to celebrate them and this special day.

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Hi Cee! It seems like you've done a great job to accommodate everyone accordingly! I can understand your guilt, but you shouldn't let it overwhelm you. It's really considerate of you to host an after-party to make sure guests feel as comfortable as possible. People travel far all the time to attend weddings of close family and friends, so I am sure they'll be more than willing to support you! Good luck!