Getting on knee

My husband didn’t get down on his knee either, even though before we got engaged I had told him how important it was to me. Instead, he came up to me as I was coming out of the bathroom!!!! LOL! But he was so emotional he was trembling and fighting back tears. That is what My memories are made of on instead of being upset about whether he got down on a knee. I was disappointed, for sure, but I try to focus on the positive things.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I think the fact that he kept saying that he did is what made me upset. Like dude I was there lol it did not happen. The thing he made is on my dresser, so I do have a keepsake. I will try to thing positively, but im sure I'll get in my feelings again when his friend post the proposal.

I wouldn't compare proposals. I could look at mine and compare to others and how they were more romantic but what matters is that he have me a ring and we're going to be husband and wife. Just focus on that and how much he loves you.

How awful, to expect him to get down on one knee. He is a real person, and there is no reason to be in a position of supplication to propose. Old stories include it, but I have never met anyone woman who would not be incredibly offended if you asked her to do that, and most guys I know, including my husband, would walk away if someone expected it. They would consider it demeaning. Me too. No wonder he looked at you strangely.

View Quoted Comment Some consider it a traditional proposal, other's don't. Some would like it, some not. I see no problem with a woman proposing on one knee if she wished, either.


Merline, I occasionally do just as you and think of something I imagined in a proposal, but didn't happen. And then I go back to being so happy that we are getting married. And I hate when anyone tries to tell me something happened that didn't or vice versa lol! As long as you don't fixate on it and let it get in the way of the happiness between you too, I don't think you're being silly at all.

View Quoted Comment I'm confused...I never said I excepted it. I said he argued with me that he did it. I love the way he proposed to me and I have a keepsake from it. I would have walked away from myself if it was knee or a flat out no lol. I know what my FH is capable or doing and not doing, so the fact that he didn't do it at home is what shocked me lol. Thank you for your input.

View Quoted Comment Very true! Thank you. No proposal or marriage or relationship is the same. I've never compared before and will try not to start now. Shoot just the fact that he wants to be with me forever, is shocking lol.

There was nothing special or romantic at all about my proposal. But that’s ok because we have a great relationship and we’re happily married now and that’s way more important to me.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! Sometimes I feel like some people come here just to say negative things.

I'm over it lol we just had a conversation about it. I'm still extremely happy to get married to him.

View Quoted Comment Lol. That's how I feel because when I finally had the serious talk of okay where's our future going he had a chance to take it out and he chose not to so somehow he wants to deal with my silly self forever hahaha. I think at the end of the day we as women naturally see what others have. I know that whatever he and I decide it's not going to be the Glamorous wedding some of my friends have had but at the end of the day as long as it's something beautiful that we can look back on and have some nice pictures that's all that matters. I think it might just be the stress like you said plus it's easy to look at others weddings or how they got engaged and we sometimes think oh I wish I would have got it like that. I've seen my friends get engaged in places like Greece or on the beach where there were people taking pictures and friends and family were there. My ring was in a dozen roses and we did it on a Tuesday night at our home while eating Chipotle. Hahaha. Not romantic but at that moment I was crying and I was so happy and it was nice and it was just us two.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. Yes that's all that matters!

For what it’s worth, my FH and I joke that we aren’t really sure who proposed to who. I was working on my taxes (so romantic) and he was making cracks about how we could save money on taxes by getting married. He then said we were probably at the point in our relationship when we should discuss marriage. After some back and forth, I was genuinely confused and asked him if we were now engaged, and his response was, “Yeah, sure. I guess so.” I asked him several days later if he had planned to propose and he wasn’t planning anything. It’s a funny story and I love it. There’s nothing “romantic” about it but it fits us. I hope you can look back on your proposal story fondly and that it can be part of your story as a couple 😊 All the best to you both and I hope I gave you a good laugh!

View Quoted Comment That's a great proposal story. I love our story as well. I just didnt like how he tried to add something that didnt happen. Thank you for sharing!

View Quoted Comment I understand. I love your proposal story. Thanks for sharing. Yeah guys usually go for it when they are ready lol. Cheers to finding a guy that wants to deal with our silly!

Yep, you’re overreacting. 😬. Let’s put it into perspective. Proposing is NOT easy and I’m sure it’s an extremely nervous event. The fact that your FH emphasized to his his friend not to forget getting on his knee, is probably because your FH was so caught up in nerves that he forgot himself (but in his nervous mind he thinks that he did). So don’t be mad or hold it against him. The main thing is that he wanted to marry you.

Let me give my personal example. I didn’t know that my FH had spoken with my parents a few weeks prior to proposing. He told them his special plans of what he was going to do during our trip to Hawaii. Well guess what? It didn’t happen the way he told my parents. But I’m glad it didn’t, because that would’ve been too scripted and unauthentic.
Instead, FH and I were taking a break in the hotel room eating Subway (yes, Subway 😆). He took the ice bucket and went down the hall to fill it with ice. When FH came back into the room, he put the ice bucket on the dresser, walked over to my side of the bed, got on his knee and began telling me how he loved me etc. etc. and asked me to marry him (as I was eating my sandwich). Then he said “Oh, let me get the ring” because it was in his backpack. 😂 FH and I hadn’t even gone ring shopping, so I was completely taken off guard and thought he was kidding. I kept saying, “Are you for real? Are you FOR REAL?” It was so unexpected and done at the most random time of our Hawaii trip. But OMG... I was extremely happy and excited. To some people it may seem “unromantic”, especially for being in Hawaii. But for me it was perfect and so “Us”!!! The way I see it, FH went to get some ice for our drinks and he came back with the real ice. 💍 LOL!!!!
All that to say...The way in which a man proposes doesn’t matter (heck, I was eating Subway). The fabulous wedding celebrations we’re all planning means nothing. It’s all about the MARRIAGE and the relationship journey that the two of you will have together. So no need getting caught up in the societal proposal fairytale and being mad at your wonderful FH. Cut him a break. 😉
Happy Planning!!!

My FH didn't really propose at all, we just kind of... decided to get married. It's disappointing. This is his 2nd marriage and my 1st, so I get that it's not as big of a deal for him, but it has always been kind of a big deal for me. I'm wearing his ex-wife's engagement ring (which she apparently hardly ever wore), and I have no idea when we'll be able to get me my own. While it's disappointing, I always do my best to keep in mind that I'm marrying the man, not the jewelry, just as I'm marrying him because I love him and I want to spend my life with him, and not because of how he proposed. In the grand scheme of things, it's fairly insignificant.

That being said, you are 100% entitled to how you're feeling, and you are absolutely allowed to be upset with how he handled the situation. Arguing that he did when he didn't is rude, and unnecessary. No one can tell you how to feel except yourself.

View Quoted Comment I understand that. It must be hard to hear him excited about his friend’s plans. But, he made you something- that’s so super romantic! I’m wondering if he was so nervous, he just forgot to take a knee. Men can’t handle too much at one time, lol.

View Quoted Comment We he proposed, we were in the parking lot of this new breakfast cafe that we were both waiting to open, we didnt want to go during the grand opening, we waited a few weeks. He kept trying to get me to look at the present. I looked at it and said that's really cool, did you make that yourself and he said yes just for you. I said thank you, lets leave it in the car. Then he just kept holding it up, saying look at it. I said I did I saw it, it's really nice and started walking towards the door. He called me and said come back and just really look at the gift like in the middle of it, then I saw the ring and said OMG is that a ring?. He said "yes, will you marry me? I'm so nervous that if I get down, I will not be able to get back up." And I said oh okay yes then we went in to go eat.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for sharing! I totally agree, we are marrying the man, not the ring or the proposal. I love what he proposed with, just didnt like how he kept saying he did something when he did not.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for sharing! That's a cute proposal story. Left to get ice and came back with the real ice lol. I agree it's about the marriage. I'm over it and was in my feelings lol. Happy planning to you!