getting my brother ordained to marry us

I used my best friend. He is an active Lutheran Pastor with his own congregation.

I wouldn't use a non professional. There have been too many horror stories from brides that the paperwork was never filed or the legal part of the ceremony wasn't completed properly.

You're going to get a lot of naysayers about this, but for every 10 of them, there's one story of how it went really well. It's good that he has qualities you mentioned that you feel would make for a good ceremony, but is he okay with speaking in front of crowds? Are you going to go over what can be said and what you def. don't want mentioned?

My friend recently used a friend who only got ordained to perform her wedding and he brought the fucking house down. Tears, laughter, all of it. People talked about it the whole day. That said, they had been friends since high school and he is a writer (good with words) and comfortable speaking in front of crowds.

I'm having our friend of 20 years marry us who is also funny and charming and does well in front of crowds. He's excited about it and has married other couples before. I don't know that I would go with someone who had zero experience but it worked out swimmingly for my friend.

Good luck! And do a ton of research!

Can he write, more specifically, write a ceremony? (It's not just pulling stuff of the internet and sticking it all together)... Can he perform? If your license is messed up, can he fix it? If your bridesmaid faints, will he carry on? Can he organize your processional? Can he interact with musicians/dj's, photographers, banquet hall staff?

Yeah, 10 to 1 odds of a great time is what I'd want to bet on for my wedding.

No one thinks this is as hard as it is.

My officiant specifically warned me against the Universal Life Church - there are a lot of freaky stories about people not actually being married. It's just risky, and like Celia said, it's a lot more work than you might think. Hire a professional, reduce stress.

@OG Alecia - Ahh, that makes sense. Thanks for the info.

I've seen good and bad.

Once the grooms brother was the officiant AND the best man - he dropped the rings and stumbled over the whole thing - not that anyone could hear him

The other was by the groom's best friend, someone who does public speaking regularly and is usually very well spoken anyway, he did a wonderful job - but instances like this are few and far between

I am not saying it is for everyone, but in Seattle I don't think I have ever even been to a wedding that was officiated by someone the couple didn't know. (FH actually did 2 weddings in the last few years). Granted we both are involved heavily in the improv and theater community so speaking in crowds and dealing with things that might arise is just second nature to us all. We personally are going to have one of our friends and FH's fellow castmates perform our ceremony, but like others have said its not for everyone and you have to have someone who is comfortable speaking in front of a crowd, can put together a ceremony, and that can handle anything that might come up.

I just went to a wedding where my cousin's boss officiated, he's a lawyer, so speaking in front of crowds is something he's used too. It was not pretty, everyone begged me to have a pro at mine (which I am).

Let's just say he spent more time talking about his own (rocky sounding) marriage than the couple and while talking about a fight between him and his DW the words "climaxed at the hotel" were said to explain the end of the fight.

My family is still talking about it. Get a pro.

@Houligan that sounds like it was absolutely painful to witness.

The ordination does not make the officiant.

My FH officiated his friend's wedding a few years ago and did a wonderful job! (I attached a picture of him officiating) He found a previous ceremony someone published online that he really liked, edited it to fit more about his friends and to make it about 15ish minutes (request of the bride and groom), sent it to the couple to let them approve it, and practiced it in front of me for a few days prior to semi-memorize it. He has some experience in public speaking/debating, which I think helped. He was ordained using Universal Life Church and it was legit in Maryland.

On the other hand, I was at a wedding last summer where a friend who is going for their masters in theology, works for a church, and speaks regularly at the church officiated the wedding and did a sub-par job. So just because they do it all the time doesn't necessarily mean they'll do a good job!

If it's very important to have someone you know officiate your wedding, go for it! That's the route my FH and I are going. We don't want a stranger who we've only known briefly to marry us! Good luck with everything!