Getting mixed reactions about our small elopement coming up

Tell them if they’re so concerned about it, they can pay for it and you’d be glad to invite the whole family.

Tell them the next person to complain either has to foot a 40k wedding bill in cash or is uninvited. I would be very upset in your situation, your relationship is clearly permanent and you're clearly happy with your nice elopement nobody should be trying to tear you down.

Tell them it's none of their business what kind of wedding you have. If they want the "big" wedding (aka a big party where they get a meal and drinks for a night), then they can foot the bill for it. Whether you have an elopement, small or large wedding, at the end of the day your relationship and marriage is just as real and just as valid as any other. To think otherwise is ignorant and rude on their part. If they continue to press the issue, say the conversation is over and remove yourself. Repeat as necessary until they get the hint. Good luck and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

As said above when comments are made let them know you’d be happy to have a big wedding at their cost, expect $200 pp budget, how many do they want you to invite?

Congrats on setting a date and I’m sorry about your medical concerns over the last few years. You and your FH should do what is right for you, regardless of what everyone else thinks or feels about it. I started letting expectations derail what my FH and I wanted initially and finally I had to step back and say this is our wedding. I told people I appreciate their advice, but we know what we want for our day, and when necessary with people who wouldn’t stop I let them know I would ask if I wanted their opinion. Good luck and best wishes on your day!

View Quoted Comment I agree with Jessica. Keep your answer classy and non-confrontational as best as you can. It’s frustrating but no need to be rude back.

Health care can drain your bank account, no matter how you try to save. A big wedding is not a necessary part of getting married. If any of these people want to put their money where their mouth is, and shell out for $10-20K, do accept their paying for a big wedding. Otherwise they need to shut up about it.
The marriage is what matters. Whether you do a traditional elipement, just the two of you, or have a very few guests, you can make it nice, meaningful, and turn your life commitment into a very special celebration. Do it, and be happy.

I would disagree with some of the PPs, it’s not about anyone else paying for it. If you and your FH are excited about the elopement package you selected and that’s what you want, it doesn’t matter if someone else wants to pick up the tab on a big wedding. Not everyone wants a big wedding even if they can afford one, and you shouldn’t feel pressured. If someone actually said “okay, I’ll pay for it,” would you really want that? At most, I’d let someone throw us a party afterwards to celebrate, but I wouldn’t let someone come in and plan a wedding I didn’t want for me just because they were willing to pay for it. Focus on what you and your FH want, because that’s what matters here. My mom always told me- you can please some of the people some of the time, but you’ll never please all of the people all of the time. This is your wedding and your life. Sorry to post again, but I just kept thinking about some of the responses you were getting. Good luck!

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Yes! I was going to say the same thing. If they are going to complain, they can open their wallets