Getting married & parents maybe divorcing?

I'm so sorry your family is going through this. Thankfully, none of these choices have to be made any time soon. You can decide who walks you down the aisle literally the minute before you walk, you can decide if you'd like to keep your last name or not later down the road when you apply for your marriage license.

These events and feelings are all so new. I'd focus on processing all of it, without the stress of the wedding on top. Any of those decisions can wait. Your relationship with your dad may change over time. Not saying you wont be angry or anything but just saying you have almost 2 years ot make these choices. As far as the seating chart, you can also decide that when you start to get your RSVP cards back.

Again I'd focus on your family and your feelings and make these choices later! They don't need to be made today. Good luck.

Oh girl.



I feel you so so so much. My dad did the exact same thing when I was 16 - left the day after Christmas. I was mad. I was angry. I supported my poor blindsided mother, and no one wanted anything to do with him for a long, long time. I know that bitter anger all too well. At the time I swore he would not be invited and planned for my brother to walk me down the aisle if I ever happened to get married. But at the time I was so mad against men I didn't even date.

It doesn't get easier to handle. My mom is still pissed about my dad and my stepmom and doesn't want to see them. The best thing you can do is support her. Be there for her, tell her she'll be ok. Because she will be It may take time- my mom took 5 years - but she is happy with a man who loves her and respects her. And they're all more or less going to get along for the wedding.
I spent two months going back and forth on what I wanted. I cried a lot. My fiance heard a lot about the insanity that was my dad leaving. My fiance left the decision up to me, and ultimately I decided I would regret not having him there. So he's coming and walking me down the aisle. You have to decide for yourself what you want. It's all fresh now, so I would take time and allow yourself to grieve. Decide closer to the date, after everything shakes out more.
Hugs dear. Let us know if you need anything.

Well it sounds like this is rather fresh so I would let the dust settle first. Your wedding is still a year and a half so no major decisions need to be made right this second. I wouldn't discuss anything involving your dad to your mom whether it is about the wedding or not. As for a seating chart, they are always a good especially if you want to separate people.

Oh girl, I am so sorry. That's awful!

What I can say is this: You don't need to make any of these decisions right now. However, to address your concerns: No one has to walk you down the aisle (or it can be someone else--I had both my mom and dad, for example), you have a lot of time to figure out if you need to do a seating chart or not (like, about 6-8 weeks before the wedding) and just as long to figure out whether or not to change your name.

I am so sorry for all you are dealing with. But time will definitely help with all of these issues, I promise.

I’m so sorry you’re going through that. That’s almost exactly how it happened with my parents, but I was 18 and not engaged. It’s been about 8-9 years now since it happened and it’s still very much a sore wound. It gets better with time, though.


You do have a lot of time to plan your wedding, and thats great. It’ll give you some time to heal and think. Your mom, too. I would say focus on her right now, not your wedding, at least for a couple months. Maybe book the venue or some large thing, and then focus on her.
As for your dad walking you down the aisle and keeping his name, give it time. You’re very hurt right now and you don’t want to make a decision you’ll regret. I will say, I knew from the moment all that happened that I didn’t want my dad’s last name, nor did I even want him at my wedding. After their separation and divorce I started going by my mom’s maiden name, and that’s how our invitations will be sent out, and I will be taking my FH’s name. I haven’t spoken to my dad since all this happened, and I don’t plan on it. My uncle/godfather will be walking me down the aisle, and that was a decision I made the week after my dad left. It still stands.
I wish you the best as you cope with this. If you need to talk, feel free to reach out. I’ve been there and it’s horrible.