Getting married in a City Hall to save money, but my fiance still wants all of his family included.. and he has a large extended family. Eeeek!

If we could go back we would do this !! our wedding is a small backyard get together with about 35 people, and more of a cookout than a traditional wedding. have you thought about doing something like that? like a full day afterwards to celebrate?

you could have the 6 family members head out to brunch with you guys after city hall. and then from there go to either someones backyard/ park/ etc and spend time with all the extended family !

i love finding people on here that i feel have the same mindset as me, a wedding is suppose to be about the love the bride and groom have for each other, not how well the table cloths match the centrepieces haha !

If he wants it, he can plan it. And he can work out how to pay for it - give him the amount your parents are prepared to spend and tell him anything over and above that he needs to figure out where it’s coming from.

It sounds like he wants the reception part of the wedding without the ceremony. The reception is where most of the money and planning is spent. I would recommend talking to him. A hundred people is a lot to expect your parents to host especially if they thought it would be sixty at most. It honestly doesn't sound like you and your fiance are on the same page. Even just a meal for hundred people isn't going to be cheap. My MIL is hosting our rehearsal dinner at a restaurant and spending about $1,000 for only 30 people.

Tell your FH how many people your parents are comfortable hosting. Tell him that he gets half of that for his guest list and if he would like to invite anyone in addition to that, he will be responsible for the cost. You can’t tell him he has to leave part of his family out, but you can tell him that your parents can’t accommodate every one of them.

I would tell him, since your mom is paying for it, that she simply cannot accommodate that many people and he needs to keep his family list to locals only (same for you to make it fair). If he argues, let him know that he is more than welcome to take over the planning..otherwise he is just going to have to accept what y'all can financially and realistically afford.

I would be open and honest with him the that your parents aren’t comfortable hosting 100 people and come up with a number together. Can you contribute to the budget so that he doesn’t have to eliminate people? What I’ve learned is if there’s extra money in the that can be used to make sure everyone you really want this is there, it’s worth it. If this isn’t an option then this is something that he’ll have to come to terms with. We are also going to be throwing a super casual party to celebrate where we live after our wedding that is taking place out of the country. It’s adding up to be more than I expected so I would be cautious if it won’t be hosted at home and you’ll be providing snacks and drinks. Its definitely not close to the wedding budget but will be more than I hoped (partly because we’ll be having a band). For the after ceremony celebration I think brunch with immediate family sounds perfect.

If it was me... just invite your parents to City Hall. Afterwards, go have brunch/lunch somewhere or even have a reception for all that's just food and a radio or something playing. Keep it simple, you don't have to have decor, but it would be a good space for everyone to sit around and chat. If it's something HE wants then I'd tell him HE needs to do the planning and to pay because the reception is where the money goes. HE needs to let his family know what the plan is, when where, etc. The food will be the most expensive part if you do catering.

Thanks Mandy! I think I am going to give him an estimate of how much it would cost for just food alone to feed ONLY his side of the family. Maybe if he looks at it from that perspective he may understand that we can't "have it all" - you can't do super cheap, easy AND have everyone you're related to there. Just won't work..

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Haha, love this comment! Thanks He hasn't helped plan anything so if I ask him to figure it out then maybe he will realize there is some work that goes into it. lol

View Quoted Comment Thanks! I definitely don't want to be that person who says he can't invite who he wants to invite, however, we are both on the same page to do a City Hall ceremony to save money. I just need to remind him that it defeats the purpose of doing it at a City Hall if he wants a big reception - even if it is just casual - to feed 100 people is going to add up. Not to mention both of our families drink heavily so God knows what that bar bill will be. I just need to let him know if we want to have a big party or even a formal wedding one day we can do that later down the line, if he wishes. But as of now - we don't have the funds and we are focused on getting a home to call our own. I'll try to lay out the facts, keep emotion out of it, and hopefully he will understand. Thanks again!

Can I make a suggestion? Have a family member or close friend get ordained so they can marry you. Check your area for local restaurants that have a courtyard or garden area. We have several here that are along rivers and such. Get married in the courtyard then have brunch, lunch or dinner there. You will have a bit more flexibility that way as far as day of the week, time and number of guests but still be able to have a small, stress-free ceremony. Regardless of what you choose, I hope it is an amazing day! Good luck!

IF he wants it, he and his family should definitely chip in and help pay for it or you/he chip in, it shouldnt all be on your parents, that just doesnt seem right. Why not have something at a park or in someone's backyard where you can accomodate more and it could be more of a bbq where food can be stretched and you can accomodate more people and it's a bit more casual.