Getting married but already have kids and live with him.

But i still plan a big wedding with reception and everything. I just feel a little discouraged at times and want too here what you all think about my situation. And am i the only one in the world with this problem???

I have been living with my FH for over a year ... I was told by my FMIL that I really should not wear white ...

AHHHH!

Yep thats exactly my situation

Ok, so i have been with my FH for 10 years, we have a 5 year old daughter and I am having the big wedding of my dreams. It doesnt matter what anybody else thinks this is for you and your FH. The only comment I have about the white dress is I am wearing Ivory only because my Fh asked me too. LOL Good Luck and try to enjoy this time.

I know how you feel both mine and FH family are catholic. Fun huh? We have been together for 8 years and have a 3 year old son and I have a 14 year old daughter to first husband. I know FH one aunt used to ask when we were going to get married all the time she has passed now but we have been introducing eachother as my husband, my wife for around 4 years now so we confused the hell out of alot of people. I am having the wedding I always wanted. More than likley the ones who told people that you guys were married is feeling like an ass because they are the ones that have to explain to others about the past comment. Its not pointless to get married if that is what you want , if you want it big, small, blow out or just whatever go for it. If your FH family is supportive and yours isnt then just roll with his family yours will eventualy come around.

I have know my FH for 9 years, I have 2 kids from earlier relationships and he loves them like his own. His family and mine already call us husband and wife but we are still having a big blow out. Let the ppl that have already said you were married explain the situation...if you want though you could always just say you are having the BIG wedding you never got before. Do things the way you and your FH want to do them. Invite your family and make sure they know you would love to have them there, but if his family is willing to have your back let them be the ones to help you plan your BIG day. Your family will regret not helping, but they will have to live with that. Good luck and wear the color that looks best on you!!!!

I agree with the last poster. Familys can be hard to deal with, real hard when their beliefs are so strong. It might be easier to say that you always regretted not having the big wedding, and you both decided to renew you vows. It might keep the talk down enough for you to fully enjoy the day. Its only an idea that might "keep the peace" lol. Enjoy and congrats.

Ok I'm about to break my situation down to you I have 3 kids of my own ages 11,12 & 14.My husband has 1 son(14) for sure&he has 2 other possiblites ages 11&12 by the same girl(his kids mom use to get around.LOL)His kids mom also has another a 7yr old son that she dont know who the dad is.Anyway because he is the good man that he is we except all 4 because it's not the kids fault.Plus I have a 7yr old niece that we have guardianship of.So we are like a real ghetto brady bunch.And I have some really religious people who has always had something to say about the fact that we have been together for 8yrs and lived together for 5 of those yrs&I use to let it bother me but I learned that no matter what you do people are always gonna talk about you some good some bad.But no matter what at the end of the day you have to think about what is important to you.And mine is my husband and all 8 of our kids.Even on the day of the wedding people had smart comments because they were all in the wedding

We heard comments from people like dont have anymore and dont you think you have enough.I say the hell with you,mind your damn business and as long as we take care of them all which we do very well.Leave us alone.We paid for our wedding in its entirety by ourselves while supporting our kids.Dont let it get the best of you because everyone else is not sharing in your joy as long as you and your FH are happy make the best of your day.After everyone had said their piece and gotten on my nerve during our planning process we were at the point that we felt like all we needed to make our wedding day complete was for the minister,each of us and all 8 of our kids to show up and our day was going to be complete.We got that and more.Live your life the way you want,plan your wedding the way you want and tell eveybody to mind there own.By the way I think the people who lied about you guys already being maried is the ones who willlook crazy or just like liars.

I agree with Vernice!

Congratulations to you! What a beautiful thing that you and your FH already have a solid relationship and children together. This is your time. Enjoy it and don't let anyone make you feel awkward. Invite who you want to be a part of this special time, whether that makes your wedding large or small. Unfortunately there will always be people who think they have a right to tell others how they should live their lives. I don't think you owe anyone an explaination if your mom is the one who told them you were already married. That's her issue to solve.

My FH and I have lived together for 3 years, although we do not have children. Regardless, we are doing things the way we want and anyone who had something to say about it wouldn't be welcome. Yes, I'm wearing ivory but only because it's what I liked

This is one of the hurdles you'll run into while planning your wedding. There will be more. But, try to focus on what it's really all about.

I have a similar situation. My Fh and I have been living together for almost 3 years and we have a2 year old daughter. When we had our daughter my step dads side of the family asked constantly why we didnt get married? Why wouldnt we just do that for our daughters sake so she never has to know that we were unwed blah blah blah. WHen we got engaged when she was about 5 months old it was like forbidden to talk about and even to this day with four ish months to go they have never asked or even seemed interested when I have talked about it. I have kind of gone with We deserve to have a beautiful big wedding that we want. SO we did it a little backwards who cares!!! If no one wants to share in your joy thats their problem. The only thing that matters is that you are in love and getting married who cares about all the other stuff. You deswerve it just let them be background noise!

Thank you all for your posts. You are very helpful. And i feel better about my situation because im not the only one. And i like too hear your situation and your input on mine. I feel these forums are very supportive. Thanx

Girl I had the same problem except my family nor his are Catholic. My fiance haven't been together 2 years yet and we have a 7 month old beautiful little boy and have been living together since last June. What happened was, I was ready to be a mother before I was ready to be a wife. Hey, its my life, don't judge. We became pregnant, had our son in August and was engaged in November. Of course throughout my entire pregnancy, people were asking when were gettin married. I told every last one of them that we will get married when we feel like it. Or some of them I asked, 'who said anything about marriage?' just to mess with them. Anyway, my FSIL had the audacity to tell me that I'm going to look foolish for having a big ceremony(100 folk) when we already have a child and are living together. I told her I don't live by no dumb ass rules and never will. I don't care what's 'proper'. I'm living my life the way I want to live it and you should do what pleases you and your future husband

The only thing that matters in the situation is what YOU want. Nothing else matters. A wedding is to celebrate a couple and their love for each other... Who cares what anyone else thinks. You do what you want and be beautiful because that is what being a bride is all about... Tell people you want to have a celebration of love and you have never said your vows in front of your family and you want them to see it.

Interesting...

I got engaged last September after 10 years and 2 sons so when we get married its going to 11 1/2 years for us. I wouldn't care what others think family or friends. At the end it's what makes you and your FH happy.Big or small wedding the opinions that matter the most is yours, FH, and kids. Good luck and best wishes!!