Getting Married Before the Ceremony

I wouldn't care as long as I get to celebrate with you, but most people will tell you not to call it a "wedding ceremony" since you will already be married.

To me that sounds like fun! It’s up to you if you want to do that and spend the extra money getting married in Vegas. Vegas is hella expensive!
We thought about it but then decided against it.
Also I assume you’re not getting married in the church and the ceremony planned is something small?

View Quoted Comment Yeah we haven’t even looked into prices and numbers yet, I’m sure it’s ridiculous lol
I would say it’s a “medium” sized guest list, about 100 max. And it’ll be outdoors, not in a church. I’m about 2 years ahead of myself here but it’s something we’ve talked about forever so I figured I’d get some opinions before I start planning things.

I really don’t judge for having a legal marriage and then a wedding (and calling it what whatever you want - we’re in this situation but because of immigration so I get it!) but I would caution you that it could end up getting complicated. Will your families care they aren’t there for the legal ceremony? If getting married on your dating anniversary is worth planning this separate event and explaining the situation to at least your closest family members if you feel like they’re missing out then go for it. If not, I would probably just celebrate both anniversaries and not do the legal part separately but that’s just me.

There is only one wedding ceremony. It can take any number of forms, be it the traditional format in a church or hall with a large group of people, or just the two of you at City Hall, or a small group in a park, or, or, or..... But you make a choice as to what that ceremony is going to be. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having multiple celebrations of your union, taking whatever forms you want, but the wedding itself is one and done.

As long as you’re telling people that you’re already married when you have the later reception/party/bash, there is nothing to object to....the point is full disclosure. It’s wrong to make people think they’re witnessing the actual moment you become married if they are really not, but otherwise, you do you! There are tons of different ways to make it happen.

I think that sounds like a lot of fun!! My FH and I (well, husband...) got married Nov 2018, and will be having our ceremony this coming Nov on our 1 year.

I don't think it should matter what your guests think, it is your day after all. Plus, if it's that big of a deal you don't have to mention it to your guests. But I personally don't think they will mind.

View Quoted Comment Completely agree with this. It’s your wedding, you can do it however you want, but you should be honest with your guests. Are you fine with getting married with just your friends and having none of your family there to witness your real wedding? Please don’t have the same mindset as another PP that your guests opinions don’t matter or that you can just keep it a secret. That couldn’t be further from the truth and what an awful thing to say about your friends and family. As long as you’re honest, go for it. Don’t try to keep it a secret though, people will without a doubt find out and be hurt.

View Quoted Comment Yup, agree with this. If you want to redo the ceremony call it a vow renewal.

If your parents were there I don't see the problem, but technically you can't get married twice. If I didn't get to go to the real ceremony that's fine but I wouldn't want to be lied to about it. So being honest that you're already married and doing a renewal of vows ceremony with everyone is more than fine!

Thanks everyone for your thoughts!! I still have some time to decide but if I do go this route, I would definitely have my guests aware that it is a ceremony/celebration and we were legally married a few days prior. And if people don’t want to come because of that, then I guess I don’t want them there anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

Great Idea But I would skip the ceremony and just hold a reception/party. You can use pictures from you ceremony in vegas at the reception space so your guests can see pictures of the actual ceremony.

I think that's a good idea actually aha. I personally would have preferred our wedding day to be the day we started dating too because that feels like that's when your love story truly began