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Devoted October 2022

Getting Fiance to Hunt Guest Info Is Exhausting

Jennifer, on January 5, 2022 at 9:10 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12

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I have been asking my fiancé for info for his guests since November and it's honestly getting exhausting having to remind him every week. That and coming up with his side of the wedding party is all he has to do for the entire wedding preparation. I'm finally down to just a handful missing info, but it's about time for me to stuff the Save the Dates and mail them out. Should I wait for him to get me those last few or should I take the attitude of "I'll mail what I have and those last few are on him. If they don't get an invitation, it's because of him." Hopefully, he'll have them by the actual wedding invitations, but I'm tired of waiting on him. He hasn't even come up with his wedding party, but that's a different topic.

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12 Comments

Latest activity by Polly, on January 7, 2022 at 6:50 PM

VIP May 2022
Jasmine S. · on January 5, 2022 at 9:15 AM
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My fiancé and his family have been like this sometimes. I think you just need to tell him, "I need the address for XYZ people by this date, or they won't be getting an invitation." Set a deadline.
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Devoted October 2022
Jennifer · on January 5, 2022 at 9:27 AM
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I did. That deadline was November 15 lol. But, I guess I should have been more strict. He just gets mad and say, “Why do you have to follow a deadline that some app is telling you?”
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Savvy September 2021
Sav · on January 5, 2022 at 9:51 AM
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Can you reach out the guest via Facebook? Or just ask him for the # and get the address from them?
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Expert August 2021
Molly · on January 5, 2022 at 11:14 AM
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My husband was like this as well. I just told him if we didn't have their info by insert date, they wouldn't be sent an invite. It sounds mean but I wasn't on social media with some of his friends and some of his family members. He would be working on a wedding DIY and I would go, "Hey this can wait do you have all the info you need before Thursday?" It would remind him since he tends to get scatterbrained.
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Master October 2019
Meghan · on January 5, 2022 at 11:43 AM
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I gave my wife several weeks to get the contact info for her side of the guest list. When it came down to the wire, and I did not have everyone's, I told her that save the dates were going out on X date and if I didn't have mailing addresses for everyone, they were no longer invited. That did the trick.
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Devoted February 2022
Chloe · on January 5, 2022 at 11:45 AM
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I told mine that I'll be sending the save the dates on Monday and if he doesn't have all the addresses by that date, it will be on him to make sure they receive one later. He delivered all the addresses by Sunday.
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Devoted February 2022
Chloe · on January 5, 2022 at 11:48 AM
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Also, I just wanted to add that I know it's stressful, and that you want everything to be perfect, but to be honest in hindsight I just didn't really care if "his" people RSVPd yes or no - so just lay back, put your feet up and relax. It's on him if they don't receive their invitations on time and that's what you'll tell people if they ask. You're doing the best you can!
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Devoted October 2022
Jennifer · on January 5, 2022 at 11:53 AM
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This is exactly what I did today since I will be sending them out on Friday. I gave him the handful of invitations he would need for his guests that were missing info and told him I’ll be going to the Post Office on Friday to drop off the save the dates. It would be up to him send the others if he didn’t get me the info I needed by then. He got all the info 2 hours later. If I had known threatening him to do the work would make him what he’s supposed to, I would have done it sooner!
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Devoted April 2022
Christy · on January 7, 2022 at 8:17 AM
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I had the same issue. I enlisted the help of his mom & best man. They were able to get me all the info I needed.
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Devoted October 2022
Jennifer · on January 7, 2022 at 9:17 AM
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I gave him blank envelopes, stamps, save the dates, and a list of the people he still owed me info for. I told him that if he wanted these people to get save the dates and invitations that he needed to give them to me my Wednesday; otherwise, it was up to him to label, stuff, and take to the post office. He had everything I needed in 2 hours. Lesson: threaten him to do the work and he’ll get it done.
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Devoted April 2022
Christy · on January 7, 2022 at 9:28 AM
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😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
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Savvy October 2022
Polly · on January 7, 2022 at 6:50 PM
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I am in a similar position. And it got to a point where I was tired of being the only one trying to plan our wedding so I stopped. (Luckily we had time as we postponed twice due to Covid). But I’d say, tell him you need it by xyz date because that’s when you are mailing them out. And if he doesn’t have it ready for you before then, those individuals are not getting a save a date and he’s going to have to do them all by himself later if he wants them to be invited.
Best of luck to you with your planning and Congratulations!
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