Getting discouraged

Sending you a big hug, sorry to hear its been so stressful and frustrating for you. If it makes you feel any better wedding planning can get stressful and I think most brides get overwhelmed at least once during the whole process. I think you need to have a chat with your mom and ask your fiance for a little more support. If it would make you feel better to practice the dance why don't you tell him I know it s not necessary but I d really like to practice can we please have a date night and do a run through. Try to remember to stop and breathe and at the end of the day the most important thing is you are marrying your love. It will be a beautiful and special day but there will probably be a few bumps along the way and thats totally normal. Best of luck to you!!!

I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Maybe we can help you better if we know what your expectations are? If you FI thinks you're being too demanding, maybe you need a bit of a reality discussion. If a whole bunch of people are letting you down it's time to have a look at your own expectations.

One thing to keep in mind, it's no longer just "your day" once you involve other people.

I'm so sorry you're going through all of that. Wedding planning can be super stressful, and when you have expectations that aren't being met that can be a huge let down. I think it would be a really good idea to sit down with your fiancé and address how you're feeling. Even if dancing or weddings aren't really his "thing," he should be understanding that this means a lot to you and it's really hurting you that he's being dismissive. Practicing a dance a few times isn't a huge ask, so hopefully he comes around to a few practices.

As for your mom, you're not alone with parents who drive their kids nuts. The whole "did you do x, y, and z" thing hopefully is just her wanting to make sure things get done. I would have a conversation with her about telling you to lose weight or that your dress won't fit though. That's out of line. I think most people know better than to comment on someone's weight (at any point in time, let alone leading up to a wedding), and telling you your dress won't fit isn't helping anything but to increase your stress levels.

One thing I found really helpful when other people are stressing me out (with wedding stuff or anything else), is telling myself that I can only control the controllables. I can't control other people harping on me to do something, but I can control booking a vendor, buying something I need for the wedding, etc. Similarly, I can't control people not knowing basic wedding etiquette (like not wearing white) or them not reading the wedding website for info, but I can control making sure they have the info they need if they ask. Honestly, as much of an annoyance as it is to tell people things they should either know or could easily find out, I'd rather handle it now than be upset at the wedding when someone shows up in a big poufy white wedding dress lol.

This process is stressful, so try to find some time to take care of yourself too 🤍 In the end, you're marrying the person you love!

Re your fiancé, remember that it's his day, too. I also wanted to practice dancing, but he felt like being too rehearsed would look corny. So, we didn't, and life went on. Sometimes, you have to compromise. He compromised on stuff, too.

With your mom, be direct and unemotional. "Sorry, I can't wrap my head around that right now." "I'm planning to handle that in a different way -- but I'll take your suggestion under advisement." "Mom, that's not helpful." These are all things I have said personally.

Regarding people wearing white or doing an outfit change: You can't control other people. It's not worth worrying about. Not sure what you're walking on eggshells about with your bridesmaids, but if you have gripes, ask yourself if they're worth getting worked up over.

Also, regarding the rehearsal: One of my bridesmaids couldn't make it either, and she figured it out on the day. You just need the majority of people there.

Perfect! Then focus on giving that to your closest loved ones. After all that's what's important here.

These people are gathering to celebrate you and your FI, and the reception is your chance to thank them for doing that. Same with the bridal party, it's really your chance to honour them and focus less on what they can do for you.

Good luck with your planning!