Getting Bridal Party Together

I have a group email going! My BMs are scattered all over so it was the easiest way. My group is pretty responsive so it worked out. It also made it easy for the girls to respond to me privately about dress size, budget etc

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Thanks! This helps alot!

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Thanks Vicky!

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Thanks Judith! This helps a ton! I wasn't quite sure when I should have the girls order their dresses, but this definitely helps.

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Thanks Melissa! I LOVE your reasoning. I feel the same way about being a bridesmaid.

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Thanks Samantha! Email is my BEST friend!

Might be an unpopular opinion, but my BMs and I are like family and the only one who didn't know the others was one roomie from college and my FSIL. Both of them have mentioned several times how great it was to get to know my other BMs and that they are good friends now. My FSIL didn't have many girlfriends that I know of and she really likes adding to her friend circle. I have wonderful ladies who have been pretty vocal in their excitement for the wedding. I made a group chat and we talk about stuff even not for the wedding and we already agreed it's going to keep going even post wedding! I individually asked them all about budget. For the dresses, I had a day where they all came to go shopping (only one BM was from out of town) and then afterward we had lunch at a restaurant. We're hoping to get together one last time for the wedding. I know some people's experiences are different, but for me, it's been great getting to see all of my friends connect with each other (and they are so nice and welcoming there's not been drama). So that's been my experience haha

View Quoted Comment Actually, you can say, I prefer hair up with these dresses, and pearly apricot nail polish, or similar. But then they can do it any way they want. Brides can choose the dress or suit. But hair cut color and style, and nails, are part of their bodies. You cannot REQUIRE anything. Similarly, you cannot tell someone you want them to have your makeup person completely cover a burn scar on their neck and chin, if the person does not cover it regularly, and does not want the masque type makeup. . . TV reality shows discuss, requiring this and that. They are in the entertainment industry. But your women are not being paid $300 an hour as models or actresses to project a certain look as part of a job. And people on WW often talk of requiring this or that. . .
But in basic social manners, whether school, a party, or a wedding, or everyday social things, aside from a uniform for work or a team, or dress or suit for participants in a ceremonial occasion (wedding, graduation) , the host can only tell people the formality of the occasion, and everyone needs to dress and groom themselves in that step formality, or one step down. So if your bridesmaids are in a semiformal or cocktail dress or dressy evening suit, you can tell the urban punk, no loop of bicycle chain in your hair, no pink and green glitter sprayed spikes standing up six inches with gel. Not semiformal . But if one wants a French twist with a pearly she'll hair comb while others have their hair down, you cannot say boo. Not polite. They take your suggestion or not, their choice. And if someone has a dye job with magenta streaks the month of the wedding in personal life, and styles it nicely in a French braid or other dressy look, it is okay. You can veto spikes and spray on green and orange glitter etc. ... At first wedding party stuff seems fussy. But that is because most people rarely hold or attend dressy formal occasions. Actually most real rules all come from a few rules for all social occasions. 1. Except for formality of the occasion, you don't tell an adult how to dress, except team or ceremonial participants, where robe, suit or dress may be chosen. Only children are told how to dress. 2. People who are friends or family are not props for your ceremony or pictures, even participants. You cannot imply there is something wrong with a person's body or basic everyday look. " You can be in my wedding, as long as you make sure you don't look too ugly for my pictures" is the way people often take bride's or hostess requirements. Against every standard of politeness, that you accept a person for who they are, and do not attempt to remake them to your ideal. ... This will come up after bridesmaids. Some brides try to tell MOB, MOG color and dress style. No. You do not tell your parents what to wear, not color, not style. Just, how formal your own party is. And FOB participates as a family member, not in a role (BM or gm.) He does not have to dress to match anyone. He may if he wants, but if not, same formality will do. All the guys in black tuxes, and Dad owns a midnight blue one? It is fine. . . . And the recent divisive issue, a trend: brides deciding every guest will wear black, or red, or white. Or no one will wear a certain color. The couple wants " the look " for the pictures. This has always been considered rude. You attend a wedding for sentimental reasons, love or friendship with the couple or family. You are not an object or prop, color to be determined by the host. Even masquerade parties, a person is always correct if they come as themselves. 😊 Having fun yet? Seems silly. But hosts should stay away from offending people. . . .I was with a wedding party ( the soloist) but as a gift, doing all alterations for free. At a group fitting, the bride handed round wrapped boxes, cocktail fake emerald rings, and earrings. Then said, for the rehearsal dinner and wedding. And told people, you cannot wear your own jewelry. It had been MOB idea, but bride spent hundreds on the colored zirconia. And was Requiring It, over objections. All 3 BM and MOH and Matron OH bride's godmother, quit the wedding over it. Telling bride, then MOB, it was rude. It came out that MOB did not want any woman with them including me, to wear any personal jewelry bigger or nicer than the bride's 1 carat engagement ring, and 1/2 carat earrings. Several of us wore ruby or diamond earrings, gifts from FI, hubby or older family, regularly for any dressy occasion, and engagement rings. The godmother, age 59 had a Whopper 40th anniversary 3 carat diamond. The MOH and 2 of the bridesmaids never came back, when after 3 weeks of bickering, the bride gave in. By then, too angry . Her sister and Godmother were the only ones of of the original 5. And I did alterations, but never sang at the wedding. Musician quit, my SO. Lesson: yes it is your wedding. But no one crowned you Queen in an absolute monarchy. You cannot dictate other people's appearance, beyond a basic dress or suit, for them to be in your wedding. And personal jewelry, like hairstyle, is chosen by the individual. General Societal rule. And people dislike petty dictators. Even when they go along, they tell their resentment to others behind the couple's backs. Who wants to loose friends, or be thought a !!!!! over such things? . . . Sounds like a lot. But easier to know what people may like or be upset by, before you make plans. Which is what etiquette really is. Not hard and fast rules. But society's usual expectations in a given situation. Principles. So if you do decide one rule is not pertinent to your group, or you don't care how a lot of people will feel, you can always decide differently. But it is never nice to be blindsided, cross people unintentionally, because you simply did not know people would be majorly offended. But such things make up half the etiquette, family and relationships, and parties and events categories if WW posts sometimes.

I did a bridesmaid brunch with all my girls. We went shopping and picked the dress and everyone was happy! It was so gun. I also gave them a small set of gifts.