Get ready with me 👰🏾‍♀️

I extended the offer to my FMIL to get her hair and makeup done with me, my sister (MOH), my mom and two nieces (flower girls!). She accepted. We will be getting ready at the hotel then leaving for the venue. I don't anticipate her being in the bridal suite while I get dressed, maybe for a mimosa or two, though.

My mother-in-law came to the bridal suite for her hair and make up and talked with us for a little while. I must also point out she is very shy and pretty quiet in our group is extremely loud and outgoing. It was very nice that she came by for the amount of time that she did. The people who got ready with me where my bridal party, my mom and my daughter.

Mine is not, because she suffers from dementia and is unwell. I think it just depends on your relationship.

My future MIL will be getting ready with me and my bridal party. I’ve gotten her a robe with the rest of my bridal party.

My mother and my bridesmaids will be. I wasn't going to have my FMIL there. I love her dearly but I feel like that moment belongs to my mom. She is supposed to get her makeup done by the same artist so I haven't figured that part out yet.

I did not have a group getting ready. And my BM all did our own hair and makeup, as I did. So FI and I got ready together in our room, and everyone got ready in their own rooms amd bathrooms alone or with SO. FMIL wanted hair and makeup done, and 3 of her daughters or DIL are hairdressers and cosmeticians. They wer staying about 1/4 mile ay a resort motel with most of their family. I only know they were all set. We got ready fast, 1.25 hours, and went to photographer, and the wedding party went with the second photographer for most group and individual pics.
we spent 45 min wandering the Inn grounds, then met my parents and his for photos. Even if my SIL had not been around, MIL whom I love dearly, would not have gotten ready with me. She is a nudge, and worries aloud constantly when nervous. And I dislike group grooming. Not taking turns, the entire 14 people WP and parents all got ready in the same 1 2/2 hours. I did have a 2 hr lunch in a local town Cafe with my Mom and my FMIL.
I have always preferred it like a hometown wedding, everyone getting ready at home or own room, and getting together already groomed and dressed. My Mom and my FMIL are the same, so no one unhappy.

I hadn’t really considered this. My fiancé’s sister is one of my bridesmaids. Does this mean I should also invite my FMIL to get ready with us? I don’t believe she has an interest in having hair and makeup done.


There will already be 5 adults and 3 flower girls getting hair and makeup done in the room, plus the makeup artists, hair stylist, and photographer. We are using our hotel suite for the wedding night as the getting ready location. That’s a lot of people in one room. Eek!

View Quoted Comment Literally the exact same scenario with me! I’ve been thinking that maybe I can invite her for hair and makeup and let her go first then (kindly) have her leave before I start getting ready. I don’t want anyone but my wedding party to see me before walking down the aisle but I don’t want her to feel completely left out either.

View Quoted Comment Maybe have her come and get her hair and make up done then leave?

My bridal party is small. It is just three girls so I am having them, my mom and my MIL in the room with me while I get ready. She lives about 10 hours from us so I am trying to incorporate her as much as I can since she can not be here for the planning process.

View Quoted Comment Yeah that's the plan, just don't know how to go about it yet lol. The good thing is that the venue and hotel are only about 15 minutes from her house so it's not to much travel for her.

View Quoted Comment This is a know-your-people kind of issue. On this board, the prevailing attitude is thathat family, particularly mothers and sisters, are unhappy if they do not get to be part of the planning, and spend as many hours as possible with the bride on wedding day. There are always posts about how to include this and that one more. ... But what is rarely directly talking about, shows in a lot of posts. Mostly, I have tried to include my ______ from the beginning, in planning this, shopping for my dress, fittings, tastings, meetings with vendors, and now we are planning HMU appts for wedding day, and she drags her feet , it is like pulling teeth to get answers. Does it every o cur to folks tha if you looked at social polls of activities, 35-40 % or over a third do not like planning or organizing social activities. This comes up in divorce counseling, too, as a big thing in women mid thirties and up. Everyone has looked to me, my mother and father, and MIL amd FIL expect it, and husband and the kids, all expect mom to do the detail planning of every social activity. I usually get 2 bites of each food at the frequent dinner parties I give monthly for husband's work, or for any big dinner, party, or children's activity. I plan the weekly and monthly gatherings of branch managers at work, and unless I start things rolling, no one plans for staff birthdays and showers . And I am damn sick of it.
For once I would like to show up to the occasion having done nothing but gotten myself dressed. And I decided, after the divorce, a lot of things are going to change. ... Does it occur to people thay MIL and FIL would like to a have a separate meal just with their son, and not be told that the bride has planned your morning? Did you ever hear of a MOB being asked to spend 5 hours with the groom's side, getting ready ? No one would think of it, even though they are all dressed. Maybe the mother os not going to be at all flattered to be asked, but will drop her plans to get ready with her husband, with or without a hair appointment. And talk with her own son, not the girlfriends of the bride, a generation younger? also, not many people seem aware that getting ready in a group is a new thing still, our parents did not experience it. Sometimes the greatest pleasure for a MIL or MOB is to see her offspring capably doing all the behind the scenes work. And to do nothing more! To stocialize with relatives here from out of town, the night before, and morning of the Wedding, be the King and Queen. Before you make any plans, make sure of what these people would like. If arriving at the venue groomed and dressed, with maybe time woth her son, don't do a schedule or request she do otherwise. Don't make her feel obliged to do it, because you assumed it and made the plans. And if you are away from home, understand that some of the BP wants to do as they do for a local wedding, and arrive ready to go, having got ready with their SO in the peace and privacy of their own space, home or hotel.

View Quoted Comment I agree, that notion is often overlooked and it is definitely about knowing your people. Some MIL may want nothing more than to sit in her seat and witness the union, whereas other MIL might have a heart attack if they aren’t considered for certain things. Thank you for your response and take time for you ❤️

We’re not having a bridal party and I get irritated with a lot of hoopla or a busy or messy environment when I’m getting ready (it’s a big reason why we converted one of the extra bedrooms in our house into my dressing room/closet 😆). So the fewer people in my suite on wedding day, the better. It will probably just be me and 2 of my best friends, (with my mom popping in and out, I’m sure).

Mine did not! they had their own bridal salon appointments and stuff

I’m not having a bridal party and I would only want my mother to get ready with me. He host hotel isn’t that far from our venue so I’m assuming that’s where my mother in law will get ready

This was a conversation my MOH and I had. I initially didn't want anyone but my mom, his mom and the bridal party. But to keep the peace I am having other family members of his. I wasn't thrilled but I am not trying to piss anyone off and have drama.

View Quoted Comment 🥴 idk if I could do that. I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to share that special moment, outside of the bridal party and a selected few (MOB and maybe MIL).