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Devoted October 2019

Get it over, already

Cathy, on October 9, 2019 at 2:02 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 9

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Ugh, I just want this over with! So, the reception venue finally gave us the final cost, which was way more than we expected. I tell my FH this, and then he starts yelling at me, as if I have any control over this. Then he starts saying how he does not want the venue manager there, and that he will forcefully remover her if he sees her.
All I could do was listen, but it’s stressing me out now, and I am just sick of it all. I just want this done. I just could not care any less.

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Cher Horowitz, on October 9, 2019 at 12:22 PM

Just Said Yes October 2019
Lisa · on October 9, 2019 at 2:13 AM
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Hey I just wanted to say that Hang in there but also that this is your space too and you should not be spoken to that way. Hope you claim your space and the event is a great, wonderful moment in your life.
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Dedicated May 2021
Chanieish · on October 9, 2019 at 3:10 AM
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Ugh I’m sorry to hear!

I hope he is able to calm down so that you can have a conversation with him about 1. The venue and 2. His outburst at approaching this.

Stay strong fellow future bride. Wedding planning is stressful!!
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Dedicated November 2019
Marla · on October 9, 2019 at 3:45 AM
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I’m concerned that he is already yelling at you for things beyond your control...Wedding planning and funding can be very stressful, but he should be more respectful to you.
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Devoted November 2021
Sarah · on October 9, 2019 at 6:14 AM
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Definitely not cool that he's yelling. I get that he's probably stressed out about it, but so are you and don't need to be disrespected now or ever! I promise life is going to get way more stressful at some point... maybe you should use this opportunity to make sure the two of you can make it through harder times when they arrive.
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Expert August 2020
Heather · on October 9, 2019 at 8:43 AM
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I understand that it’s easy to get heated over financials. Tell him to calm down and you guys should go over your contract. Also remind him that unless he would like to be arrested on his wedding day, he cannot forcibly remove the venue manager from the *ahem* venue. Best of luck!
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VIP September 2020
Kelsey · on October 9, 2019 at 9:25 AM
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Not cool that he is yelling at you. But my FH can't stand the venue manager at our venue either, thinks she is awful and never shows up for meetings that she wants to have with us. Not saying it's good that he is yelling at you, but he needs to calm down and not yell at you.
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Super October 2019
Cassi · on October 9, 2019 at 9:41 AM
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Life is stressful. He definitely shouldn't be yelling but if hes anything like my FH he probably has a small fuse. My FH never yells at me personally but he yells at a lot of people and sometimes I just have to remind him that theres a lot of things in our life out of our control and this happens to be one of them. As for the aggression of forcefully removing her that is frustrating, my FH is also former LEO and did all sorts of martial arts his entire life so he usually defaults to force when something like this happens as well I have had to talk him off a ledge a few times before he broke someones face (not literally but you could see the rage in his eyes). Again with my FH these are usually times I need to sit him down and remind him there worse things in life and this too shall pass. Our common saying in our household is "Keep the faith." He needs to learn how to transgress his rage and do something productive with it or at least learn how to not take it out on you.
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Champion June 2019
Gen · on October 9, 2019 at 12:11 PM
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I am so sorry you are dealing with this.
My mom always said that planning a wedding is the first trial of your marriage and basically gives you a preview of how stress/conflict will be handled throughout your marriage. She said this was true for her, and for most of her friends as well.
Doesn't mean it necessarily has to stay that way, if he is willing to work on it... but I recommend sitting down and having a conversation with him about this, and how it really isn't fair for him to be taking out his stress on you, when you're stressed too and it's not your fault or under your control.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on October 9, 2019 at 12:22 PM
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The yelling is way out of line. The venue pricing isn't even your fault, so he had no right to take it out on you. Make it clear that this type of behavior is never okay and its hurt you deeply
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