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Vanessasaurus
VIP June 2019

Gender Neutral Flower Child/Ring Bearer

Vanessasaurus, on August 5, 2018 at 9:52 PM Posted in Planning 0 8
So I was planning to have my niece (age 3.5 by time of wedding) and nephew (age 6 by time of wedding) be my flower girl and ring bearer! I never actually asked them but my mom told my sister and my sister was talking to the kids about it. When describing it to them, my nephew said "...but I like flowers!" My sister raises her kids fairly gender neutral and the fact that he said that got me thinking that assigning the roles of flower girl and ring bearer to specific genders is a bit old school!

My only concern is that I do trust my nephew with the rings and not my niece. What do you all think of getting him a basket with flowers too, but also finding a way to securely put the ring box in the basket too? Or should a GM just carry the rings? Anyone else do something similar to this or have any ideas? TIA!

8 Comments

Latest activity by Gell, on August 22, 2018 at 9:28 PM
  • Kay
    Super November 2018
    Kay ·
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    I would just give the rings to your best man and have the two kids go down with a basket of flowers...I think the point more or less is to have them feel included and excited. Many people don't give their actual rings to the ring bearer.

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  • Laura
    Dedicated October 2020
    Laura ·
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    The best man usually holds the rings if the children are too young to be trusted. That's what happened at 75% of the weddings that I have been to.
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  • Vanessasaurus
    VIP June 2019
    Vanessasaurus ·
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    Yea definitely! I really want the two of them to have fun with it so I definitely want to add on an extra basket of flowers if that's what he wants! Part of me wants to include the rings in somewhere because I know it would make him feel proud to have that extra responsibility but it might make more sense to just give the rings to the best man!
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  • Haaley
    Expert December 2019
    Haaley ·
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    My Future brother in laws (12 and 9) are going to be our flower kid and ring bearer.
    Since they are both older it isn't a problem.
    But when it comes to responsibility, maybe have them both do flowers and have a groomsmen hold it (like you said). Then they can both be involved without feeling left out or worrying about a ring mishap.
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  • Christine
    Expert September 2018
    Christine ·
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    I would give the rings to the best man. I think it would b cute to have them hold one basket of flowers together to toss out.
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  • Gonnabeaburch
    Super July 2019
    Gonnabeaburch ·
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    I know what you mean about the gender roles with flower girl and ring bearer. My ring bearer is actually going to be my (then 3) year old daughter. I tried to get my 6 year old (7 at time of the wedding) to do it but she insists on being a flower girl with her cousin. Personally, I would let him be in the role he wants to be. I'd even offer him to do both if he's up for it. He can walk alongside his sister with a flower basket, and then bring up the rings when it comes time for the exchange.
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  • Jennifer
    Super December 2019
    Jennifer ·
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    We arent having flowers because it will be the middle of winter so we are doing snowflakes so my (will be) 8 year old niece will have a flower wand and my (at the time) 3 year old nephew will have a LOCKED box with the rings also decorated with snowflakes "falling" from it. My fiancee's Honor Guard Captain will be wearing the key to the box somewhere on her person and he will hand the box to her. We dont want him holding something that is basically a stick with pointy bits on the top but we want them both the get the glittery fun of carrying snowflakes.

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  • G
    Devoted September 2019
    Gell ·
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    The rings really aren't in much danger if someone ties them to the basket right before they start down the aisle.

    You can also buy a set of fake plastic rings at Michaels and tie those to the basket.


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