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I normally wear jeans and t-shirts, as does my partner. But I was thinking the androgynous formal side of that might be the typical dress shirt and vest? But... A really femmey vest for ja both?
The great thing about being gender neutral is that you define your presentation. You can find a cute jumpsuit, suspenders and a bow tie, or as a PP said a pretty fitted suit. It is however you both feel comfortable. I have a good friend that never wears dresses but wanted the white dress on her wedding day. She still talks about how beautiful she felt, but also that she was fine making that a one time thing. Only the two of you can decide what you feel most comfortable in, but play around with options before feeling like you have to decide on a specific look.
What about a pant suit or jump suit? I love jump suits and think they are a great glam option for those who hate dresses/skirts, although they can still feel really feminine, which may not be what you are going for.
I think you should wear whatever makes you feel comfortable. As others mentioned, you can approach your wedding by taking your typical attire and adjusting the color and fabrics to make it feel like wedding attire. Just switching to a white/ivory color and more luxe fabric can make a world of difference.
For t-shirts and jeans, what about wearing button down shirt and dress pants? You can add a vest, suspenders, or a blazer/jacket if you want to feel even more formal, but I think if t-shirts and jeans are your normal attire even switching to a button down shirt and dress pants will feel a lot more dressy. You would also have the option of wearing a vest/jacket for formal photos and removing those later if it feels like too much.