Garter Toss Nerves

We won't be doing the garter toss at our wedding as we both are very uncomfortable with it and the history behind the tradition of it. As your uncomfortable with it but still want to have it I suggest you take the garter off in private and then toss it that way you both don't have to go through the awkwardness of your husband up your skirt in front of everyone. Another suggestion is don't put the toss garter on and have it somewhere you can easily get to for the toss. Both of these would be ways to still do the toss but get around the awkwardness. There's plenty of other alternatives and whatever you choose make sure your comfortable with it because no couple needs to do anything that they are uncomfortable with.

Thank you, that helps!

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. If I was you, I would find another way to honor your grandmother. You’re both uncomfortable with it and I’m sure there’s a better way to remember your grandma than sending your new husband up your skirt in front of your family in her honor. If you decide to stick with it, either don’t wear the garter and just have him toss it, or have a second garter for him to throw.

I'm sorry to hear of the loss of grandma. Grandmas can be so special. Are there other ways you could honor her? Maybe wear a piece of her jewelry or carry one of her handkerchiefs? Did she have a favorite flower that you could incorporate into your florals? A favorite song that could be played at the reception? I think you can find another way to honor her without doing something that you are uncomfortable with.

I am having a hair peice made that I can put a pendant from her necklace onto. So that is one way I am honoring her. She just seemed to feel passionate about us doing garter toss for some reason so I thought that there might be some way we could incorperate it without making us so uncomfortable

I have thought about wearing the garter lower on my leg. I’m not comfortable with him being pretty much completely in the skirt in front of our family and friends. At a wedding I went to recently he bride wore it around her calf which seemed to make it less awkward yet still fun

Would Grandma really feel honored by you doing something that makes you so uncomfortable? They tradition of the garter toss has been fading away for decades and imo just needs to die. I haven't seen a garter toss in many years.

The idea of wearing her pendant is lovely. Did she have a favorite flower you could incorporate into your bouquet? Or a favorite cake flavor? Or a song that could be played? A favorite drink you could toast with? Color you could incorporate (your shoes or a detail in your centerpieces)? A perfume? Candy you could use as a favor?

Those are very good ideas, thank you Candace and Mim

U can have a garter and just have the groom already have it on hand and toss it without him having to get it off your leg

Leaving all the debate about the history and appropriateness of the garter toss aside, there has never been a need to be tacky and have the groom crawling under the bride's dress. You can simply wear the garter on your lower leg, or even just barely above the knee. He can reach it without being lewd or crude. That behavior is a choice, not a necessity.