Future step/bonus child involvement. <3

I said this earlier this week to someone else but I am not a fan of vows to children during a marriage ceremony. Include the kids, absolutely, but I disagree with vows.

With a child that small, you're looking at like a sand ceremony to involve him. Anything else will be too much.

Ah this is absolutely beautiful! I would cry like crazy if I were at your wedding. So sweet and sentimental. However, I do think you should check with your FH first to make sure he is okay with this.

I disagree with @Janeen. Everyone can have their own opinion of course. But I think when you are marrying the child's father (or mother) and you are not the biological parent but plan to play that role for them, the marriage is just as important for them too. I find it incredibly sweet to have vows given to them as well (as long as the father is on board with this idea). But make most of the wedding about just you and FH of course. Or you could just incorporate a sentence or two in your vows to FH about his son. Aboht "gaining a family" or something sweet.

Or you can always do a ceremony of some sort with the child. Like a sand ceremony as Janeen said. I think that's a really cute idea!

FH and I have a son together. We are not doing vows with him because he is our own biologically. He is our ring bearer of course who will walk down with a sign that says "Daddy, here comes mommy!" I also plan on doing a "first look" with him. I can't wait to see him in a tux that matches his daddy's

My FH is the sentimental type...and we are a SUPER close-knit family... I really think it would mean a lot to him to involve his son. But I do get what you all are saying about asking him or letting him know beforehand.

My future step daughter is my Jr. Bridesmaid and his son is his best man.

My son was mentioned by our officiant but I just disagree. My husband didn't marry my son. Vows should be limited to those who sign the marriage license and have the ability to consent to being involved that way.

My sons father included our son in his second wedding with the sand ceremony. We included him by mentioning him and he was my escort down the aisle. I had a dance with him that my husband joined. But the vows were left between us.

My children are 18, 19, and 26; FH kids are 32, 15 and 10. They are all part of the bridal party, but they have each expressed that they don't want anything extra added for them. They know they are loved by each of us and one another. We have been a family for a while, we are just making it legal.

FH has two sons, 15 and 8 years old. They will be the Best Man and Ring Bearer.

We will also do a unity sand ceremony to acknowledge that we are becoming a family.

I have opted not to say any type of vows to them publicly, because I think the wedding is really just about the vows between FH and me. The kids know that I love them and take care of them, and by marrying their father, I am already promising to always be there for them.

That's true... I'm wondering if we should do a sand ceremony or candle lighting ceremony and tell him how much he means to us and how happy we are now that we're becoming one family then... So they won't be vows but rather just part of the sand/candle ceremony? I just didn't really think about having a sand or candle ceremony because we are having a traditional Catholic wedding and doing a lasso ceremony with the Rosary... I feel like that would make it extra long. But I'm still looking at options and deciding.

This is such a sweet idea to me! I was 4 when my mom and step dad got married and I remember telling all of our family members thanks for coming to "our" wedding! I even went out to dinner with them on their first anniversary because it was "our" anniversary! Haha kids say the darndest things. My mom still tells everyone about that to this day! If he wants to be involved in becoming a family I think you should include him. Even if it's a small thing. It'll mean alot to all of you in the years to come.

Vows to children are very controversial. I'm not a fan, for the reasons given above. Definitely don't do this as a "surprise."

I think that's great you are including your stepson My almost 13 year old nephew was 8 when my sister married his stepdad. They did a sand ceremony, with my nephew in the middle. They united as a family, not just husband and wife.

My son may or may not walk me down the aisle. We won't know till the day of and that's like a sec before I walk downlol. We are debating on doing a tree planting ceremony which my son would help in that for sure.

Include them in the vows have the person marrying you ask you if on top of being a wife to... so and so.... will you also be a mother and role model to.... so and so. But if you want to say your own vows to the boy by all means do it! Your life, your wedding, your family, your choice. I'd cry if I saw it!

I don't like the idea of vows. I know no one may like to think this but what if you divorce?

I saw this once before with my cousin. Your husband will realize your vows are over but a small child may that them super literally and not understand. My cousins husband gave vows to her child, they later divorced and the child took it to heart and had some serious depression and issues stemming from the broken promise. I realize that it was not caused by JUST the vows but the child didn't understand why the vows were broken

We are raising 2 boys together. Our oldest is mine biologically with my ex and younger is with fh. We never say half brother or stepfather. My ex is still

Involved with our son. We see ourselves as a family already, our extended family sees as a unit. For us it didn't make sense to have vows or special mentions. Our boys will be escorting our mothers down the aisle.

My kids (19, 20 and 24) are MOH and groomsmen. Our granddaughter (2) will be escorting Eric down the aisle and our grandson (4) will be escorting me.

Eric's son (15) will not be attending because his mother is a ... I won't use that word today...but we will have a seat reserved with his name at the ceremony beside my MIL.

I think vows or something is sweet but you should talk to your FH about it first.

We are doing a sand ceremony and my son is going to be the best man.

I wouldn't want to put a four year old on the spot on what is already going to be a long, tiring and emotional day for him. That said, you know your family and what they would enjoy best.

My daughter is giving me away, she is 23. His daughter is helping with vendors and day of organization,She is 25. She did not want to be in the wedding. 3 grand children are ring bearers and a flower girl. Just me, FH, and Minister standing to get married. Ours was easy. If the children were younger it would be difficult. I am glad to see couples including their children.