(Future) Step-mother in-law

You first need to talk to your fiance. There is no one size fits all for stepfamily relationships, and it is HIS relationship with his stepmother and with his mother that matters. He may feel a gift to the SM is disrespectful to his mom. I would give all parent gifts in private, not at a rehearsle dinner, to minimize any hurt feelings.

Thanks for your thoughts! I will talk to him!

I have the same exact situation. Because of FH's relationship with her, I doubt I will get her something specific. I'm thinking maybe a special photo frame for FH's dad and stepmom as a joint gift? Then avoid that awkwardness entirely.

In a wedding I was a part of recently there were two sets of stepfamilies (both her parents remarried and both his parents remarried). They gave their biological parents gifts and the step-parents each got something smaller (The mother got pearl set and the father got a fancy box of cigars; the stepmoms got pearl earrings and the step dads got a single cigar case engraved). It was an interesting way to approach it and they didn't want hurt feelings with the step-families. Just an idea!

Jess-I really like that idea! Maybe I will look into something of that nature.

I think that's up to your fiancé honestly. It's really dependent on their relationship but I think @Jess had a really good idea there.

Following.

I never even considered getting FHs stepmom a gift but he doesn't have a relationship with her at all. He even asked if we HAD to invite her to the wedding. Obviously I said yes. Lol.

I would say it's up to your fiance

I would get her something small. She is obviously important to his father and you don't want to hurt her feelings or make your father in law uncomfortable.

My FH's stepmother will be at our wedding - he is not close with her and he has never been fond of her. She and his dad never played much (if any) part in raising him.

However, to acknowledge her presence, we are giving her a present. It is of lesser significance than the present we are doing for FMIL.

FMIL - hand crafted locket, engraved and personalized

Future stepmother in law - a lovely bracelet

It's still a nice gift, but nowhere near as personal or lovely as what we are doing for FMIL

You and your FH need to talk about it i would just get all of them a gift

My FH has step-parents, both with varying degrees of closeness. I chose to get all of the moms a pair of opal earings. They are all different, but the same price point. My mom's pair has a lot of thought put into it and a lot of sentiment, the other sets are just very pretty (her pair also has diamond accents vs. white sapphire- i will only mention this to her). I will relay the meaning in her private card. I would rather get everyone something similar to focus on becoming a family instead of nitpicking relationships. i can totally understand why this may not work for a lot of people, though.

I am with Jess. Get the parents one type of gift and step-mom a complimentary, yet smaller gift. She will appreciate the fact that you thought of her.

I'm also dealing w this with my own stepparents and really appreciate the advice from people here. I definitely feel like I should include them (they've each been in my life for 15+ years) but I'm not particularly close to either of them.

A smaller version of the other gifts sounds like a great idea. Or the joint gifts for the couple.

I don't think u have to give her a gift.

I am getting a bottle of wine for his dad & his dad's wife, that way they can have that together, and bam! Done.